Are you quarrelsome, Easily angered, Impatient? Whatever your answer, how do you judge and do you do it correctly? Would you know if you were \ a person who is causing yourself and others a lot of trouble with “blowing your stack”, flipping your lid”, or “giving a piece of your mind? You may have better expression than these.
Did you think that PATIENCE or the lack of it could be the cause? I and many of you may consider ourselves patient and even tempered when we are actually NOT. If you are in your car and having outbursts in fairly normal traffic, you have a problem. That may be one way to gauge your temperament. If you are in your car twice a day, riling yourself up and getting to your work or home with bulging eyes and a red face, you have a problem. Some of us may be patient in some situations and not in others, so it is hard to realize that we, ourselves are the problem, and not all the other IDIOTS around us.
Are you easily angered? How do you compare and to what? I always considered myself patient and tolerant person and I was, but I moved straight South 300 miles and I had to CALM MYSELF DOWN . These people down here Stay CALM: time and people are given a lot of leeway in some places. . I recently visited NEW York City and I knew to SPEED myself UP and make sure I did not WASTE time. If I got in a line, I better be thoroughly prepared and not have questions. I traveled in Italy and I still remember “NO PROBLEMA, NO PROBLEMA. I also visited Paris, and I loved everything but the French seemed angry and very impatient. Since I came from a fast paced city, impatient, angry people were fairly normal for me.
The size of the city does not, necessarily determine their place or tolerance. I traveled in London and the people were very patient and kind to me. I made quick judgements of some of these places, and I may have been wrong. We judge ourselves, others, and places, and we may be wrong. We may cause ourselves problems when we expect others to be LIKE US when they are not like us. We get angry when we fail to allow for differences. So PATIENCE and TOLERANCE may be the key to staying CALM and ENJOYING people and life in general.
For some reason, I had loads of patience with children, but not much with adults. I worked in schools for thirty years, so that must have been true. I realized fairly recently that I was not tolerant enough of people in many situations. I have learned to stay calm and quite polite in most of my encounters in life. The waitress ignores me, the clerk is having a conversation unconcerned about me, my question is answered with “I dunno” and I just stay calm and polite. I expect all this, and I don’t want to cause these people a problem. I try to spread a little joy as I go. Life is hard for all of us and I would like to be more patient and tolerant, and polite and it works better for me.
Writing this, I am reminded that TEMPER and POLITENESS are opposites. I may still need to improve myself and have more patience and less need to expect my needs to be met quickly and more of the time. My blood pressure has always been low so some of us may be KILLING ourselves with this ANGRY, vitriolic state of mind. Many people have UNEXPRESSED ANGER and that can be the worst Kind. You cannot wait to get the PINT and GET AWAY from EVERYONE. So drinking and isolation and relationship failures may just be a result of EXPECTING the world to operate according to our needs and expectations MORE than it does.
Somebody said, “I smile when I hit myself with a hammer”. How many of us try to smile in any and all situations? I definitely have work to do to become more tolerant and patient. I have work to do sharing the space with numerous others of all varieties and to SMILE in the process. My country had a lot of senseless shootings and all are caused by ANGRY individuals who think the OTHER PEOPLE are the PROBLEM.
PATIENCE or the lack of it is a cause for most anger. If you are the type to drive and seeth and rage instead of enjoying the ride, YOU have an ANGER problem and that may just be part of the story. You continue to seethe and rage for most of your day. Being ANGRY may be covering a lot of SADNESS, so all of us need to be tolerant of the angry people instead of feeling we need to TEACH THEM A LESSON. Tolerance and patience are taught by example.
When you encounter others, are you thinking of making them smile and are you smiling at them? Is that idea in your head any of the time? It NEEDS to be. IN EVERY situation could you say that you try to make it a happy situation for the OTHER GUY? We all HAVE A LESSON to teach ourselves. For the most part, YOU GET what you GIVE. If you are BAD TEMPERED and are QUARRELSOME and IMPATIENT, do you like yourself that way and are you HAPPY? You are probably quite MISERABLE in spite of having no more problems than many others. ANGER is normal, but too much of it will DESTROY US.