Now That I’m Retired …
RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years. And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.
I’m retired. Go around me.
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.
15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something,
and then wonder what I’m here afterafter
19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.
🙂 🙂
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Hahahaha…. the funny thing is, I can relate to this…. lol
hahahhha love it shads xxx
Shadow loved reading this and I retired in 2001 and sure don’t miss going to work as I worked in retail at Marshalls for 17 years.
Great Shads,your not absent minded,now what was that I said ,I love being retired Mac xxxx
giggling and happy to be back.
woohoo faerie, great to have you back xxx
i will never retire shads that is why i am immortal!
I can relate to these too shads 🙁 🙁 xoxox
loved it shads even though read it many times…still good 😀 🙂
Great post Shadow, I can also relate to it LOL
Oh my! I forgot to reply to all who commented :(. Better late than never i suppose. Thank you every one…much appriciated. 🙂 🙂