Do We Lose It?

Hello folks, just been reading and commenting on a recent blog, a chatter Madge commented who looks at a 66 year old anyway. a 66 yr old man maybe!! or do men only look at the young  bodies, now if a older man had loads of dosh he maybe in with a chance to bag himself a young beautiful model.  Many men of our age, late 30's lol say they are not attracted to younger women, and I read that many young  men are attracted to the older women.

When do we lose our sex appeal?

I see many celebs on tv, men and women, and I think they still have the twinkle in their eye, and not all have gone down the route of facial surgery -Judy Dench in her 80's certainly  has kept her humour, which I find the biggest attraction in a man, who doesn't want to be with someone man or women who makes them laugh?  Julie Walters, Sheila Ferguson. Joan Collins, none of them Spring chickens but still interesting individuals.

Would any senior chatters consider going down the facial surgery path to keep your looks in keeping with your brain?  Or would you choose to grow old gracefully?  I cannot think of any one young man that I am attracted to.  Paul o Grady still has the twinkle.  OK. I know he is gay so I have to rule him out.  Barry Gibb from The Bee Gees still has the vroom factor.  Ronnie Wood and Rod Stewart they still have it in bucketful's.

So big cheers for the older generation who are still rock'n it - are you ??

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Published in Questions & Trivia

Comments

  1. waylander

    I’m 65 now and I’ve always, with one brief exception, dated and or been the partner of older women. Not by much I admit. Some a couple of months others a year or so.

    However I must admit I have recently found myself attracted very strongly to a much younger woman. I chatted her up. we’ve been talking for quite a while now and I have hopes of more from this relationship.

    And before the gasps and attacks come my way, I’ll admit that the “much younger woman” is 60, but hey. For me that IS much younger.

    1. starlette Post author

      Yay !!……..now that’s what I wanted to hear………so we are not over the hill and past our sell by date after 60, man or woman……..has to give hope to many who are still on the market for some cuddles and romance…….”.many a good tune played on a old fiddle”…………..hope your younger women is up for some fun and games Way, fingers crossed for you………you cradle snatcher you…heehee……..

      1. len1932

        I ;like reading all your comments on old people getting married. My wife died when I was 76 years old. Her bothers widow she arranged to come live on the farm to help before my wife passed. She stayed 4 years then said she was going back to her home with her daughter, I tried my dates but could not find a lady who wanted to live on my farm, I was very discouraged and so one night I hear this knock on my bedroom door. It was my sister in law a crying and said if you ask me to marry me I will. So we got married on April 1st, April Fools Day, I was 80 and she was 70 and now I am 85 and she will be 75 soon. We are the best of partners, sleep in our own rooms with dogs, and companionship is wonderful. She does the driving and is a wonderful cook. We travel all over the US on AMTRAK and are active in our church. At 85 I do not have to prove anything as we have a different type of marriage that I recommend for elderly seniors.

        1. starlette Post author

          Hello Len, your wife was concerned about you till the end, how thoughtful was it of her to ensure you were taken care of…………companionship is all as we age, and you still get your hugs and kisses…….life is good

          1. len1932

            My Ist wife was afraid I would get involved with the floozy down the road from our farm.

          2. roseinbloom

            len, thank you for sharing your story as it shows that all our stories are different and the import and thing is that all relationships are good if it benefits both parties and no one is mistreated in the process. Our early marriages are not typical or all proposal on bended knee, nor are relationships in later years by a book.

      2. bigone

        Well I’m 69 and I respectfully admit that it’s ONLY women in my age group that turn me on. I readily admit that I just enjoy the Maturity and Experience that our age displays. Also…in most cases Patience goes a long way in a successful relationship. Very helpful on both the Male and Female is the outward use of being respectful…..not see as much in the younger ages.
        Take Care and Always Be Safe ……… BigOne……
        PS: BigOne is my name because I’m 6’4″ tall and weigh 240 lbs. Not what all you were thinking aye…ha ha ha ha

        1. starlette Post author

          Haaaa…….I had no such thoughts errr……..actually I thought it was bi gone with you….and good to hear us older ladies still get a glance or two…

    2. ozzie59

      Hi way…miss your grumpy face…hahaha….good luck to you…one word of advice …be nice…thats 2 words but you know what I mean!…I know you can!!

  2. roseinbloom

    Starlette, I have been involved with younger men, maybe 8 years or less and with older with older men and in all the men, age was not a negative or a positive
    Age was not an issue
    It can be the same with men.

    1. starlette Post author

      Hope I don’t get slaughtered for this…… buttttt because its said women are more mature than men, then maybe we have to choose men at least ten years older than us to even the maturity level up…lol

      1. len1932

        My first marriage was in 1953 and my wife and I were underage so had to have our parents sign for us. I was 20 and wife was 17 in California, The wedding license was $2 and at the courthouse I had no money so borrowed from my dad. We were married 55 years and had 6 children before she passed. in 2008 Then I remarried in 2013 when I was 80 and wife 70. Age was not a problem this time. but the marriage license cost me $75.00. It went up I guess with old age????

        1. len1932

          Also want to add, We got the second marriage license on April 1, 2013 so two old fools could get married. on April Fools Day

  3. roseinbloom

    Starlette, Rock flower wrote a poem about your question and I agree with her, we retain a lot of the girl into very old age unless illness is too severe. Romance and sex happens a lot in nursing homes. If people LOSE it ,it is because they threw it away just let it slip away.

  4. Madge

    when I said who looks at a 66 year old woman . I was trying to say the pressure I felt when younger to look good amongst my peers has gone . my partner of twenty years is seven years younger than me . I like to buy clothes and I quite like the odd admiring glance . and I was at a lovely wedding last weekend . both were in there sixties .

    1. starlette Post author

      Hello Madge, so no pressure now days…….I actually cannot remember me and my friends competing with each other, we each had our own style but followed trends, but we were impeccable about our dress, hair and makeup……….nice to still get the admiring glance…….and I do see lots of elder couples marrying…….age is no barrier…….

  5. Rockflower

    Waylander ….I don’t think you’ll get many attacks and if anyone does the problem is theirs not yours.Follow your heart and I join others in wishing you well.

  6. Rockflower

    Starlette….remember, the biggest sex organ in the body is the brain. So much in life is in the attitude. As Roseinbloom writes , there can be health issues mental and physical and I suppose past experience can also play a part. It would be sad if we shut everyone out as we grew old, also true remember the “heart” is a muscle it needs exercise, you have to practise keeping it open. I think old age has one great advantage , we tend to be more honest because we know our selves, hopefully? If any couple can find romance , at any age that is good, the world needs more love. I think that at our core of being we remain the same. The man can be seen in child and the child in the man…….In middle life we are more concerned with what “people” think of us, so we add this and that to our personality stew and much of this can cloak our true personality. As we age we begin to boil down , our stew becomes more concentrated the various additives tend to fade so that we return to our basic essence of the person we truly are. So in theory at least, I think older people can have more true relationships of all kinds. Oh my I hope you can understand that it is a bit torturous LOL!

  7. starlette Post author

    Hi Rockflower…….well I tell you I took a sharp intake of breath reading your first few words……..just wondered where you were going with it, then I saw brain…Phewww…….I understand exactly what you are saying, attitude is everything, a good one anyway………I agree with the aging bit, you get past caring what anyone thinks of you……..its a case of this is me, this is who I am, take it or leave it…….be yourself, warts and all……..no need to fabricate to impress people anymore, silly game days have passed……….so romance is alive and blossoming….YAY !!….good to hear…..

  8. Peter1954

    Getting older, in my case I’m 63, it’s interesting to see just how differently I am looked at or talked to. In a previous job I noticed how as one of the oldest members in the office were looked past or through. Whilst they chatted, made plans, we were never really included. Then thinking about it when I was in my 20s I did exactly the same.

    In a social sciences lecture some years ago I was told that subconsciously young people are looking for mates to spread their genes. Males want to spread their seeds far and wide to maximise their gene pool, where as females as looking for a donor who is fit and strong who will provide fit and strong offspring. The reason we are over looked, albeit unconsciously, is we are too old for production and spreading the genes. It’s not personal, it’s nature.

    The thing I find though is us “oldies” don’t make long term friends easily as we are still programmed like the younguns. All my friends of my age were made many years ago. I can’t think of any new friend I have that is my age. I think we are our own enemies, we very easily get into ruts or not able, or willing, to either find new friends or make younger ones. I don’t either, really, the older people, I mean.

    1. roseinbloom

      Peter1954I appreciate your very insightful and honest comment. The last part, that we don’t make new friends seems to be true for you, but it has not been true for me. We all need to join senior groups and sites like this one where we can meet each other and make friends. We all could benefit from join a health club, but don’t run in and out but go sit somewhere for a while and talk to people.
      We all need to work on making new friends. Our friends pass on and so does our family and it is almost impossible to keep a circle of friends.

  9. starlette Post author

    Hi Peter, well you can still spread the love if not your genes for productive purposes, but yes I agree, friends are made easier when younger, I think we get into our own routines and don’t really want to step out of them…….its harder when you are older and perhaps have become more cynical of the world and the people in it……..harder to trust people……….and to strike up new relationships, getting to a level of intimacy again with out the confidence in our looks as we once had…its all hard going……….can be very difficult fitting in with others too if you decide to set up home together, we have established our own habits and patterns……..but good luck to all who find new love in the elder years….it beats loneliness anytime……

  10. Ms. K.

    My family has a lot of youthful genes, so I don’t look my age. If I ever dated an older man again, (my husband is 7 years older), he’d have to be athletic like I am and not a constant grumpy guss. Sometimes our differences are so overwhelming that its sad. Don’t beat up on me!

  11. Ms. K.

    Before anyone can offer this piece of advice – Looking at his better qualities doesn’t make it easier to bear the downside to being with an older man. I was naïve, what can I say?

    1. Ms. K.

      Thanks for your kind response, Star. I’ve been in mental agony at my honesty, but it felt so good to finally admit my feelings aloud. It’s not easy to say something that others might interpret as harsh or negative. but marriage counseling has forced me to stop being such a wuss. But, it’s the truth, I didn’t know what I was getting into. BTW, I”m not a gold-digger, lol. I’m the one with the house, car, and at the time an excellent job!

      1. starlette Post author

        I can empathise with you Mrs K……..I was once in a similar situation, not married but moved in with someone who was an hypochondriac of sorts, the minute he sat down he would nod off to sleep regardless of where we were, I put that down to his brain not being very active, it wasn’t an illness that caused it……. I stuck it out for about 18 months because he was a kind generous man but sooooooo boring, luckily I was able to move out and buy my own property, we did remain in a relationship for a few more years, and like you I tried to focus on his good points………but he was like a comfy old armchair, and to be quite honest I had never fancied him either, so why did I become involved……..because I let my head rule my heart, thought he would be trustworthy and reliable, many many months ago I asked the question in a blog…….do we follow the heart or the head………the heart won hands down……..

  12. starlette Post author

    Hello Mrs K……..thank you for your honest reply……..and yes I see that side of older people, men and women too…….it really does depend on your attitude to life young or old…….I have met really old people but their humour, positive attitudes belies their age……….I guess as the years pass the difference in age may show more physically, ……..we seem to live in a society where pressure is put upon us to stay fit and active, especially women………do men feel the same pressure as women do to look good? not any man I know does………..now we know why the celebrity women are choosing man 20 and 30 years younger……..I do actually feel for you in your situation, with hindsight there are lots of things we wouldn’t do again……

  13. foreveryoung2

    I have caught men of various ages checking me out. I get told that I don’t look my age, but boy the body feels like it. Aches and pains. I don’t need someone to care for me, and I wouldn’t inflict my health problems on any man at this age. Also I am not capable of looking after anyone but myself. The thing I miss the most is a reassuring hug from a loving partner (which he was for a few years), and someone to go out with. I have been divorced for nearly 17 years – my husband cheated on me. So trust is very hard for me. I wish all those who do find love in their latter years all the best. Take care xoxo

    1. starlette Post author

      Hi foreveryoung………..well has to be said it must feel good to know you get “checked out ” now and again……..boost to the old ego……..my situation suits me perfectly, been in my current relationship for 16 years, do not live together, just know that wouldn’t work, have each afternoon out and holiday together, evenings out, family events, that will do for me………..he looks after himself and I do the same, although blokey type jobs he does come in handy…lol…….too set in my ways to accommodate anyone else into my abode……..

      1. foreveryoung2

        Hi starlette it does give you a little boost 🙂 but I have no interest in a live-in relationship. I would like your situation – living separately but coming together when it suits you both. A few years ago I did live next door to an 80+ woman who had such an arrangement, and she loved it. All the best to you xoxo

  14. rose1943

    I guess it never occurred to me losing it, married to the same guy for so many years. It never really goes away. I get the ‘frizzle-frazzles’ about Colin Firth and Hugh Grant but not sure this is what all this is about.