Chapter one of The Honeymoon

The day I married Frank,I declared to love him till “Death us do Part.”well was sure I meant it as do most new brides .My new husband decided,in his wisdom, that our honeymoon should be a wonderful, water, romantic, delight.He had gotten us a houseboat on the lovely big lake,the water was sparkling,the sky blue ,not a cloud to be seen anywhere.
The boat sitting bobbing in the water looked great,just waiting for us to climb aboard.Of course he had never driven a boat in his life,nor me.there was not an ounce of sailor in either of us.His answer to this was “Don’t worry they will show us how its done.” Oh sure I though “How long are they going to take to teach us,the homymoon will be over,we only have a week.”but I kept this thought to myself,knowing how Frank didn’t like me doubting him,but doubts I did have.
Well the guy helped us settle on board and it was time for the lesson,I settled in the seat ready to be taught everything there was to know about a boat,navigation,because without that,where would we end up?This is the key,this the gears,reverse, forward.Now here on the side is a map,just follow that you can’t get lost.We have two anchors the heavy one best use that in deep water,you have a dinky to row ashore if you get stuck ,just holler if that happens,bye have a great time.I sat there watched him jump off the boat,looked at Frank and said
“Is that it?”he smiled as he turned the key and said “Yes darling lets go”oh my heart sunk,I knew I was in for a great homeymoon.
After about an hour of sailing I started to feel a lot easer about this boat thing,I wondered why I had doubted him.Maybe he was right there was nothing to driving it,though I still wondered how we would find our way back home,each time I asked where we were on the map,Frank said
”Oh don’t worry about the map I am just driving forward” don’t worry,why not, it all looks the same to me.
,”How you going to get back then” I asked
“Just turn around and go back the way we have come of course Kathy” oh has he looked behind us,there is all kinds of twist and turns,not one of them says
“This is the way you came I had strong doubts at him finding the way home.but I settled in and enjoyed the lovely sights and warm sun.
Then all of a sudden we seemed to stop,my heart sunk,I knew it was too good to be true.
”What’s wrong Frank” I asked.
“We seem to be stuck on something,look around see what it is will you” looking over the side and around
“I see the bottom of the lake” I say,as if its a natural thing you see on a boat.
“You can’t see the bottom we are in deep water”yes deep water all right ,but there is a sand bar it looks like to me.
“Ok I’ll just reverse hang on”
Yes good idea in theory but in practise didn’t work.
Frank in his wisdom got into the dinky and took out the anchor dropped it in.Then of all things he lost the ore,down it went,of course it was deep water,down sunk the ore.Ever tried to row with one ore,circles and circles come to mind,lucky he was still tied onto the houseboat,so I could pull him in.Now he decided that he would try the thing again and started up the engine revved and revved but nothing happened ,well not true the anchor popped up next to the boat.
“Um we have a problem now Frank”I said knowing that it was not the thing he wanted to hear.”Well we will just stay here the night he decided after all that.
We enjoyed a lovely meal, romance was good ,turned in for the honeymoon night
of love making just like all newly married couples do.

I woke up to this sensation I was falling out of bed then crush,looked over, there was my new husband on the floor,the boat tilted over badly, his eyes opened wide and he said
“Why did you do that “
“Me I didn’t do it look we are sinking” with that he jumped up grabbed his pants and looked over the side screamed
“Get in the row boat”
.”What at 4 am on a freezing winters night you must be joking”
“Well if you want to drown stay in bed”with that he jumped in the row boat.Oh I had a dilemma I couldn’t be seen not dressed ,so I started taking off my nightie,he screamed
“Gee Kathy not in the raw you said your freezing,what you bloody well up to”
“Getting dressed of course I cant get in there undressed”
“You would rather drown then be seen in your nightie?”
“Of course”well I was a very well bought up catholic girl,what did he expect me to do.
So dressed I got into the row boat to his relief,we sat in the cold.Frank then decided if we were going to spend the night ,might as well be warm and not hungry so he got the whiskey and the wedding cake to keep him company, but in his haste he knocked the cupboard and all the cups came falling out ,one by one to the floor. We waited there for the boat to sink.
But of course it didn’t with the tide came the water and the boat righted itself.we got back on board and felt very foolish.Just then a boat came along and the man said
“You cant stay here the tide will go out you will tip over,I looked at Frank and said,
“Yes we know,but we are stuck on the sand bank”
The gentleman helped us, towed us into a jetty and rang up the company,told them we needed someone to come untie the anchor rope from around the propeller.Course it got there when Frank tried to the reverse the boat.They came out fixed it and sent us on our way again,into the second day of my wonderful honeymoon.
There are lots of experiences in life that go to help form your character,and I am sure my honeymoon taught me something,just not sure what it was,but that “Till death do us part”bit seemed very close at the time.