a continued demonstration of overthinking….

this has been an interesting week--and one that im not finished processing--with relation to news and events here in the senior chat world. ive heard the same short phrases from many over the past few days. and I've heard another person say, "this is how it always happens every time." specifically im processing one of my very good friends having banned from this chat room. I haven't been able to define fully how I feel about it. am I devastated? no, of course not. do I think it was right? absolutely not. such events challenge your definition of friendships and your loyalties. ultimately I feel worried for her on a personal level, because I knew how important this involvement and interaction was for her. I feel bad that she feels bad.

one of the things I have heard from a few people with regard to a perceived injustice, is that ''well there isn't anything we can do about it.'' upon review of such statements, I would really consider whether the person cared about the issue at all, as well as their priorities, because obviously this is not true. there are lots of things that we as chatting associates could do, if we really cared. but, ultimately, the real truth is, that we are here for a break in the day, not to throw ourselves out on a limb for some poor lady who was kicked out of our little club without so much as a reason why. so, why would we as lovers of security do such a thing? its ok to say you really don't care that much, just be honest about it.

the other really interesting thing I heard today that ive been considering is that one of the chatters said ''this is how it always happens every time.--'' referring to every time someone is banned, and all of the mumblings and hurt feelings following. that's interesting and very true. while the others banned were not as close to me, others were in fact feeling close to them and possibly feeling just like I am right now. so why are we doing this over and over? Einstein's definition of insanity is to be doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results. I appreciated this comment, because it woke me up a bit and made me consider if that's exactly what I was doing...participating in chat routinely hoping for a better outcome from what I had been getting. ive determined that should I continue to chat in the future, I will attempt to do so with less ''insanity.'' being the kind of person who is naturally prone to interaction, and positive rapport, it is within my current mindset to remember this statement, and begin to put forward the similar level of energy into my chats as others do with me. (I need to do this in many other areas of my life as well, but that's a whole new blog!) The truth is that to effectively function here, you really do need to have a kind of a mindless, careless approach to the whole process, and this is something completely foreign to me.

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Published in Senior Chatters


  1. roseinbloom

    Catalpa, I agree with almost everything that you say, Your perception is awesome. I have gone through your experience and felt as you do, I do not think anyone normal chatter member should be permanently banned with so little respect for a fair process. I hope the site changes, my heart is no longer in it as I could be the next one banned without any just process.

  2. grandmaj

    Just say my name I dont mind Cat, the way you said it, is different to how I meant it.

  3. catalpa Post author

    It was you that said that grandma, and I appreciated your comment. it gave me food for thought.

  4. Faye

    Quote: ”this is how it always happens every time.–” Yes, true Cat but do you also know that before anyone is banned from this site (unless they are scammers, underagers etc) they are issued with written warnings about their behaviour and the reason they are risking their memberships…. in this particular circumstance there were multiple warnings so the person was given every opportunity to correct their behaviour. If they choose to ignore those warnings it was their option. Admin was left with no option but to ban them from the site.

    1. catalpa Post author

      faye, yes of course I am aware that banned people are given warnings to correct their behavior. i was aware when this particular chatter received her warnings at each point. I suppose such reasons as ”being rude or making negative comments” is possibly a bit subjective though, and I think this chatter did not understand what it was that was specifically being criticized, beyond the idea that everyone was supposed to chat in a light full of rainbows and unicorns. I think the real issue is, what are we finding so rude or negative, and what are we not??

      1. starlette

        What some people will take issue to others will not…….what I find rude others will not……..so how can one person decide what is classed as inappropriate chat, unless its really obscene then we would all understand that………..going back over the years I recall one member who was the rudest person ever to Pat……..but did he get banned, did he heck, he left of his own accord……..and another who is currently active, a very obstrocoluose rude and ignorant person indeed, was even trying to cause arguments a couple of weeks ago on the blogs, but the blog was deleted…..rules for one….rules for another……

        1. Faye

          Cat being rude and making negative comments was not the total reason for her banning. She indulged in some rather nasty stuff with other chatters and was very insulting to quite a few of them. That is why she was warned and it was explained to her but still she chose to continue doing it…time after time. Her many warnings were ignored by her and there are people on here she hurt with her words prompting them to either leave or be very selective in not coming to chatroom if she was there and leaving if she come in. If she noticed that happen it would have been hurtful to her but it was each chatters own choice who they “talked to”.

          1. starlette

            Well actually Saffy was the person I was referring to, didn’t know it was her that had been banned……..long overdue in my opinion……

  5. Drummer

    I am so glad that I only indulge in Blogging – that at least is approved by management before problems can arise!
    Long live the Freedom Of The Press!

  6. vonMichael

    We already discussed that ** topic ** a few weeks ago Cat. We can’t live in a space of no rules and regulations cos we are not designed to live in chaos, are we??

    You do a very good job Faye cos you treat members words with respect. That’s the way I see it.

    If one member doesn’t understand the roles we have here if he ignores them than the member must be banned. How else could a community like the SC with more than 7000 member work????.

    1. roseinbloom

      vonmichael, There is a difference between chaos and some degree of respect. I have been abused, for no reason, worse by admins than I ever was by saffy, i respect myself, so Saffy never got hurt me, though she seemed to have a superior attiitude. She totally misunderstood me once or chose to misunderstand me and was very abrasive. I never complained because her words were did not rise to the level that justified a complaint.
      i think some people may feel inferior therefore they get HURT easily. That is a subjective issue, A level of civility is different for many of us and we need to have some tolerance here.

  7. starlette

    I understand what you are saying Cat…….its so easy to get involved in in-depth conversations and maybe go off on a tangent now and again…….seems the chat room is reserved for chat about Cats, Dogs and straw bonnets………hope your friend isn’t banned from the whole site and that you can still chat in private……

  8. waylander

    Another one bites the dust and we bitch and moan, but does anything change? Don’t be silly.

  9. 2doghouse

    Be sure to read the Terms & Conditions. It states no reason has to be given and Admin has the final word. (unless these Terms & Conditions have changed since the last time I read them). I wrote 3 times pleading the case of Patricia, who had been with SC since the beginning, over 12 years or so, demoted from Admin to a regular chatter, then unceremoniously banned. She was in the chat room most of the day and I saw her root out several scammers and liars. I don’t think she would mind if I say she was devastated. SC was her lifeline. Bottom line – there is no appeal.

    I’m sorry Saffy was banned. She could be abrasive but at least you knew where you stood with her. My opinion didn’t matter to her, just like her opinion didn’t matter to me. Don’t like what they have to say? Then block them.

    1. roseinbloom

      People can be banned for no reason, but that makes all members insecure and no one wants to chat and told they can be banned for no reason and some of the best members have been banned along with some of the worst, so what is the standard. We are told that written warnings are given and we are told that no reason needs to be given. What is the truth.

      1. Faye

        Rose to my knowledge no-one has ever been banned without good reason. The general membership is not always told the reason to save embarrassment to anyone who may be involved in any way. If you know of any members who have been banned for no reason I wish you would tell us all.

        1. roseinbloom

          Faye, as you just stated, “the general membership is not always told the reason etc”. I cannot prove that members were banned without good reasons, but I have an opinion based on my experience. I do know that admins have mistreated me worse than any member. That I do know and I know I did not deserve their abuse, so if I am threatened with banning, for no reason; it can happen to others.
          I also believe that my access to the chatroom was blocked for a long period of time with no explanation or warning.
          I know of two long term members that were almost totally different in their use of language were banned. Both were well liked by a huge number of members. One used words that were vulgar, but she was very kind to members and a barrel of fun, and the other was here for 12 years and suddenly she is unacceptable and was replaced with people who will never meet her level of kindness, dedication and impartiality.
          If you cannot make a behavioral statement that is clear and understood, then you should not consider a warning as a reasonable warning.
          I also can prove that better rules need to be written and it is clear that many people believe that to be the case here.
          As starlette said, “are we only safe with talking about dogs, cats, and straw bonnets”? There is no safety here.
          I was here for 2 years with no problem from admins and then we got two new admins who attacked me and threatened me with banning and shut off my access to the site.
          I was not able to talk to Rob and I have never been able to talk to Rob since.
          I believe that banning Patricia was a cold-hearted an unfair act.I think, as I remember, there was a disagreement over what was good for the site.
          I do believe that suspensions should come before banning. Like someone said, “if you don’t get along with a member you can just block them. When an admin does the abuse, you need a solution.

        2. Faye

          Rose get it right…to my knowledge you have never been denied accesss to the chatroom..maybe computer error, inability to maneuver through the site, whatever….I don’t know the cause but denied access..NEVER! As for making contact with Rob…everyone is able to do that but we can’t force him to reply. I recently had occasion to correct someone who was using the email address incorrectly so maybe that is the answer. No-one is perfect and can make mistakes. You mentioned Pat….yes she was banned and yet again you have that wrong. You have either listened to gossip or have been told the wrong story. There was one person with Pat when she broke a very strict rule and at the time she stated it would probably get her banned in doing it. This person was a Member just like you…not Admin or Monitor. If you want to make statements as you have done please make sure you have it right first. Anyone banned has also been via Rob who has transcripts and any relevant information and if the Admins got it wrong in banning someone I honestly believe he would be reinstating them just as he has done previously when an error has occurred resulting in accidental bans.

          1. roseinbloom

            Faye, I am just now seeing your response. I think it starts out rudely. I won’t say “Get it right” to you. I have had it RIGHT the whole time. Are you telling me that monitors or you when you were the admin could not have blocked me and I just happened to lose my computer skills at the moment of my warning of banning? I talked to you at the time and you defended them. You did not say, “I will check on this and get back to you”. Later, You were in the chatroom chatting away with the monitors you defended and when I came in to chat the three of you just talked to each other and seemed to be in a celebratory mood.You usually were never or almost never in the chat room, but you were then. I don’t even know if you ever knew I was there.
            Decency would demand that you felt sadness and regret for Patricia and you still do not.
            , I am without a process to prove anything and have no one to prove it to. I know how to cut and paste, but after the words are said, I don’t know how to retrieve them.
            As for Patricia, She was not defended by you. One offense and she was permanently banned. Does not sound good to me. Twelve years and a permanent ban and still no UK monitor. The site is damaged, because no monitor was as good or spent the time that Patricia did.
            Faye, I know there were some treacherous behavior, cover ups and loads of lies told.
            I don’t know why anyone would not like Patricia or want to harm her and be very apologetic for any action taken against her. How many jobs can you have for 12 years and lose over one offense? This site means a lot to a lot of people, and the site was a huge part of Patricia’s very sad life. We,members, have sat with her many times as she waited for the medics to come and help he sick husband, so do not expect me to not be extremely sad by this treatment of her.
            Faye, you never adressed my complaints and the newly hired monitors were only defended and it appears they are still talking about people and not respecting any privacy rights.
            Neither ever apologized to me for their gross unjustness.
            I still deserve an apology. If they had to deal with their bad behavior, then they would become better monitors.
            I was taunted by neecee, but I never lost my cool and become vulgar, call names or apparently do anything that would get me banned.
            If stating an opinion gets people banned, I may not be here . I came here to state opinions nd to hear opinions. If I am banned for stating facts that are not like, this site would mean little to me or anyone else.
            Faye, I have certificates in law, 3 advanced degrees in counseling and education, so nothing you can say will make me feel inadequate. I also see lying as an evil and would not do it. Everyone can make small mistakes in communication, but I don’t think I have and I have only told what I know to be a fact, and my opinion is stated when it is not with enough information to call it a fact.
            In getting it RIGHT, I think I am on the right side that begs for justice, honesty and mercy.

  10. jw1953

    Rules are needed in every endeavor we undertake. But vague rules are hard to follow to say the least. Capital punishment is questionable and that’s what banning is make no mistake. I would think suspension for a day , a week or even a month would better serve the SC community. SC is advertised as an international community , if that’s true then rules like being rude are very subjective. What a Brit finds rude to an american maybe perfectly acceptable . Add in the many cultures found in the world and things get really interesting . And being negative what the heck does that mean, if I disagree with ones opinion and express it am I being negative. The fact that I disagree with banning members does that mean I’m being negative . Another thing while I’m on my soapbox saying there are 7000 members , really lets talk active members that would be more relevant and I’m sure that number is falling, whoops more negativity I better be careful . In regards to saffy I think Rob needs to bring her back I always enjoyed her chat ,whether you call it rude crude or negative she is an interesting person!

  11. cefnrider

    she should have been banned the same time ismee was banned so dont expect sympathy from me and this was the same member every time i left the room started making comments about me, so you wont get any sympathy from me catalpa

  12. Maree

    Human beings are fascinating aren’t they>??

    Yes Saffy could be cutting and very direct?? Is that bad thing to be challenged in ones thinking?? I didn’t and don’t agree with all her opinions and nor does she agree with mine. But it doesn’t stop being friends.
    My friend come from all walks of life and many have different opinions ,thoughts, ways of life, religion to my one But I don’t ban them from my life.

    Sadly the Administration of SC gives no right of appeal . I will remind Rob he runs this as a business he takes money from us for the right to chat Over all I agree with rules yes they are required ….but if a person is banned then Rob do the right thing refund their money. Also email the person concerned to advise them why exactly.

    But firstly give them fair hearing ….rude and abrupt is one thing ….crude rude etc is another. Saffy is and was an intelligent chatter.

    Very kind to Newbies and helpful to some of the older chatter. Lets look at the positives.She was also excellent in engaging others to chat. Provided actual chat subjects.

    As adults treat us accordingly not like naughty school children.

    Might i suggest that possibly a bias on behalf of some of the Monitors who quite obviously are challenged by Saffy?

    They should embrace her and try to see her point of view.

    We are all entitled to that at least our own point of view based on our own experiences.Debate is healthy ….others experiences and viewpoints are required to challenge our own thinking…..we will all GROW from hearing what other think.

    1. Faye

      Maree, Admins and Mons are chosen because they arent biased…..Rob thinks very hard about it and makes sure he knows these people well enough before appointing them. Yes, as with every Boss he can also makes mistakes but generally he has done well as many will agree. Saffy has every right to appeal in fact she did so once before and got reinstated. Apparently she didnt get that right in the other two sites she was banned from. But you wouldnt know that unless told as you havent been here long enough to see her many borderline actions in regards to Members. Intelligent though she is she also pushes the boundarys and was the subject of many complaints both to Mons and Admins and to Rob. She did not heed the many warnings given to her and decided it was her right to not follow rules or directives which were put in place by the Owner of the site

      1. Maree

        Sorry Faye I have seen the bias with my own eyes on numerous occasions. If monitors are not biased then they are super human.. And Nor is Rob able to select folk on that criteria …. he’s not there 24/7 nor is he the perfect judge of humanity he is what he is the Site owner . He only gets to know you via a screen . As someone who has spent the last 20 years of my life giving advise to Employers regarding staff issues I think my judgement and critiquing of employees or unpaid staff is pretty extensive.Thats all I have to say …. for now I am avoiding chat…I dont wish to watch the victimisation of a chatter nor watch the snide remarks by some.So to the people concerned you may have got rid of Saffy you may well also get rid of me ….but your legacy lives on and sooner or later karma will expose you.

      2. Faye

        Your comments are very presumptious Maree for someone who has been here for such a short time compared to the few that have been here since the original site many many years ago.

        1. Maree

          Its not presumptious at all ..I am basing my comments on what I personally have experienced in this chat room…I have been chatter a long long time MY ex-husband and I brought the rights to an old chat programme some 23 year ago I think …. and became the NZ distributors. In those days we all had avatars…so I guess my experiences have been varied and many.I may be a newbie to this chat room but not newbie in the world of chat.

          1. Faye

            Then Im sure you know every chat site is run differently according to what the owner requires. Quite probably none of the members here were also on that chat site you ran.And no Rob is not here 24/7…no-one is…but he was once a daily chatter just like most of the members here. He also used to do it all himself….until he decided he needed help. It is also very possible to get the know people fairly well just by chatting to them and you should know that since friends on here are ones you have chatted to, not met personally…Right? And the Monitors and Admins on here are not biased…everyone is treated equally and if Rob thought otherwise they wouldnt be here for very long, that I can guarantee.

  13. lo1234

    Let me say this as the person that had to do the banning. Saffy was a great conversationalist. She was intelligent and yes, forthcoming in her thoughts. I often enjoyed conversations with her. However, she often stepped over the boundaries and received warnings to be more careful. She tried. I can’t say she did not try. Unfortunately, she made again, a very derogatory remarks about an entire country that insulted those of that country who are members here. No country members want to be generalized and insulted. They, too, voiced their opinions on the matter. No one wants to have all the members of their country called ignorant and rude. It’s just not acceptable. We are supposed to be friendly chatterers from all different nations. After, several warnings, there really was no choice. Unfortunately, when you ban someone, you don’t have access to their private email to tell them why they are being banned. Also, it is not a easy decision to make when in fact, you appreciated the persons wit and intelligence. To those who were her friends, your point is taken; but, I hope you can understand the situation more fully now.

  14. roseinbloom

    Lo, Americans have been called Yankees by the Brits and it doesn’t bother me at all. We had a discussion about the meaning of Yankee and it did not bother me at all. I believe you may have meant well, but we Americans need to be aware that we don’t have a lot of respect in many countries, and try to learn why and correct ourselves if necessary. I have traveled and everybody treated me very well but in some countries, I had to prove myself. I am on an international chatroom to learn and remove some of my ignorance and Saffy could never hurt my feelings because many Brits are the epitomy of consideration and politeness and she certainly had no right to feel superior. Saffy should be entitled to her opinion.

  15. lo1234

    Rose, being called a Yankee is not derogatory..It’s in fact a badge of honor..but to call another nations people ignorant and rude, was highly offensive to them. It also wasn’t the first time.

    1. roseinbloom

      Lo, “Yankee” has many meanings and you may like to Google it and read the various usages. two wars were fought and the Yankees were on one side of the battles which did not endear them to the losing sides. A’s I said, I had a discussion and I learned a lot and I researched it. In your corner of the world, Yankee is well respected. but that is not the case everywhere.
      What do you think the song “Yankee Doodle” is all about”?
      I have never had a problem with you Lo and I like you and you are entitled to your opinion even if you are wrong. I don’t like censorship. I may be a dumb American but I like “freedom of speech”. Americans have their strengths but we are ignorant because we are isolated and I am on an international chat site to learn and remove some of my ignorance.Ignorance is just not knowing and the sooner we learn that we don’t know, the sooner we can improve ourselves.

  16. lani36

    I do not like to comment , in blogs , i always feel that least said is soonest mended , but i must in all fairness support the action that was reluctently taken, banning is never done on the spur of the moment decision …. unfortunately Saffy has been banned from more than one site now for making very unkind remarks about and to others for a very long time , since some of you had not even joined chatters…. we as Moniters and Administraters are given rules to follow just like everyone else, many time she had written across the page i cant say that lani will ban me , when in fact i have never banned anyone … once i had to stand down one person for a few hours when we had the stand down button to give them time to think about what they had disrupted the room with and then they could return , i care for everyone , but i as many Mons and admins have been called , uneducated , low inteligence , gaye , our Aussy males it was said aid by another are mysogenists , uneducated . this we recieve on an almost weekly basis … W

    1. roseinbloom

      My purpose was not to defend Saffy. My purpose was to defend justice. Lani, your credibility is not good with me. Why would Saffy name call people gaye, when she is sympathetic to that group? I could say more but I will keep what I know private.
      I do not believe that certain monitors are capable of being just or fair. I would like clearer rules that we all know, and to have them interpreted in the view of whether they serve the site or harmed it.
      Are you hearing that people are afraid to engage in any meaningful discussion.
      Freedom of speech should be facilitated not bludgeoned to death here.

  17. lani36

    we do our very best, it is a voluntarily position, to keep the chat room free of hackers , under agers and those who disrupt the room , this is our job prospectus ,, we try to do our jobs as best we can ,
    there is a lot that goes on that the chatters are unaware of that happens ,so that those that are warned or banned or stood down are not denigrated by us or anyone else , but done discreetly with the best of intentions towards all the members and not without a great deal of thought before any actions are taken…. …

  18. cefnrider

    before you all go over the top about this business may i remind you that her and ismee came to this site only because they had been banned from their previous site.
    Leopards never change their spots

  19. vonMichael

    My comment to this all:

    I’m only resposnible for what I’m saying and not what you understand.

    Many people like to interpret any kind of positves into the negative cos they are negative themself, means their character is negative wired, and this is the problem.

  20. 2doghouse

    Have to wonder if this insult thing is why there are so few of the regular chatters left from UK. Where have they gone? I’ve seen some nasty, degrading comments from Americans about the UK. We all say stupid things. I think it’s also hitting below the belt to write about Saffy being banned from other sites. Does this mean she was monitored more than other chatters?

  21. vonMichael

    Some people can’t do different it is their character which tells them to dominate.

    What an advantage SC is to make the first experience with them. Worse case to me would be to meet and to live with them under one roof, like a retirement home. That would be the hell for me I think.

  22. katelin

    The Monitors and Administrators as well as the Owner of this wonderful, friendly Chat Site, try to make this an enjoyable, safe site for all. There are reasons why many people want to be here There are reasons that this site has been going for many, many years. This is a very safe, very friendly site. The owner does not accept advertising to assist him with the major costs of running the site. He does not accept ads, because he wants to keep members safe from the barrage of ads that would be bothering them, when they want a clean, unobstructed site to enjoy. Thus, the low membership fees.
    Obviously the other reason many people want to be here, is for the friendly, welcoming chat rooms, as well as the many other entertaining areas of the site. Us on the Administrative and Monitor Team volunteer our time to help keep the site safe from Scammers and other undesirables. We do this because we truly care about the members on this site, and as chatters ourselves, we like to see this stay the clean, safe site that it is. I’m sure if some of you have been around the Web at other chat sites, you will have found just how disgusting and scary and risky things can be in those other places.

    I must take this opportunity here to defend and give credit to my fellow Team members for putting in so much time here, in order to help keep the people out who could make things very bad for all of you, our wonderful community here. What many of you don’t realize, is the extreme amount of time and work that goes on behind the scenes, helping to protect YOU. Many of you could have been targeted by scammers and possibly bothered by disgusting characters that sometimes try to worm their way through here day after day. They succeed on other sites many times. That could make things a living nightmare for those who have been scammed or hit with some other unfortunate circumstance by these undesirable characters who sometimes make that their daily work.. to target unsuspecting and unprotected members of sites all over the world. We Team members do not need pats on the back, but I felt it’s important to give everyone food for thought, as to really what the whole scope of managing this site entails. I do hope the anyone reading this, will remember and think about the time and care we put into the site.. into helping to make sure this is an enjoyable site for ALL of YOU. Also, we don’t just pop into the chat room to “monitor” ..we like to engage in friendly conversation with all of you, also.

    Now, if anyone is removed from the site, even if it happens to be a member who has been here for some time, then the decision is never taken lightly. It is not a sudden thing.. those who have been removed are always given warnings, several times. If they choose to disregard our suggestions and do not take the opportunity we’ve given them to adjust the unacceptable behavior/comments that could affect the integrity of this senior chat site, and which goes against the Terms and Conditions of the site, then we have no alternative other then to finally remove them. There have been many opinions expressed in this Blog, and all of your words and feelings are “listened to” and respected. However, it seems that no matter how thorough our explanations are, which have been given back to you by the Administrators and Monitors in this Blog, in some cases our explanations are not equally given weight and understanding. Some of you will continue to have a mind-set that you will hold fast to your opinion and your feelings… and that is your right. We respect that, but please try to.. in turn, respect the position this site takes, in trying to keep this a respectable, friendly site. It has been explained over and over, that this particular member who was banned, was given many, many opportunities to know how her comments in the chat room were (sometimes) not acceptable. (I do agree that there were many times she was indeed, an enjoyable person to chat with. Unfortunately, there were other times when things turned very different for other members.) I will also like to add, that the Team had been very careful not to bring up the person’s name. It was only when some other members have chosen to include the name in this blog, that she is now identified. Unfortunately, while this blog may have been written with good intention by the author, the banned person has now, unfortunately had to be discussed even further. However, these are the facts.. and while there is a multitude of other warnings she was given over the course of a long amount of time, they have not all been noted here.. nor will they be. Just know that the banning was not for a simple “her opinion” type of deal. To protect her, we will not go into further detail of all of the documentation and warnings given over time. She knows about the problems, so whether she chooses to remember them, or not.. she was indeed given ample opportunity to stay. I would like to add, I know that some of you have mentioned in the chat room.. “I never saw anything she said that was so bad” … well, many of you are not in the chat room at those times when her various comments have occurred. Then Mons or Admins would have removed the comments, so that others wouldn’t be affected by them, thus our attempt at keeping this a friendly, fun site for all. Please keep an open mind about all of this.

    Another thing I’d like to comment on here, in defense of the site as a whole. I have seen people occasionally comment about how the number of chatters have dwindled down in the chat room at times throughout the day. Yes, it’s true that there are times when there are a few. But it is also true that there are times when there are MANY. Over the years that I have been here, this is the way it’s always been. Granted, it’s possible there may now appear to be fewer more often.. BUT, this is not necessarily due to the layout or direction of this site. Think about this.. there are now more people trying out that internationally known site which allows people to post their “faces” and family/friend connections, and also they have the capability of their chatting block for friends and family, which can be a convenient thing for those who make that a regular stop in their day. However, it’s not the same as the international community-type of the chat site where you can meet new people, make friends from all over the world, like this site, which will always be a welcoming, enjoyable place. Times do change, and people’s lives change. That does not mean that this site or the way it’s run and the way it’s structured and laid out, are to blame.

    Let’s really sit back and be fair about this. Yes, everyone is entitled to put in their opinion here. ~But after all has been brought forth, front and center, and thoroughly discussed, I would hope that all of our members will remember, that this is a business, with a responsible owner, just like any other chat site and other establishments on this planet. If you go into a restaurant or store, and there is someone (and yes, even a paying customer) who is behaving in a manner which is truly offending the other customers, naturally the management would ask them to stop.. or leave. If they refuse to heed the warnings and guidelines and continue their unacceptable behavior, and/or toxic comments, then they would most certainly be removed from the premises… wherever it is.

    1. roseinbloom

      Katelin. You do a great job as best I know and I, like you, would not believe the ugliness from some of these people unless you experienced it for yourself as I did. . Some people are Jekyll’s and Hides. Honey can drip from their lips and then they become vicious. I was so shocked to have to have this on such a wonderful chat site and it was quite shocking. I cannot quite imagine why they would do what I know they did. It made no sense for them to act as they did and they would have been better served to have done a decent job.
      I think there were three people engaged in a power grab on this site. One has left and the other two need to go. all three of these people had me convinced they were good people before my ugly experience with them.

      1. Faye

        Suddenly you are finding all this out Rose. Yes its been noted that suddenly you are here for quite some time during each day and also using the chatroom. OMG that is unheard of. And you even managed to make an insulting comment in there…”I don’t want to say ?? is an idiot, I just dont’ like the way she does things”. One more thing to say…You are in Lala Land where gossip is strife and if you cant find dirt you will make some up. Now Rob address just so you dont get it wrong this time…[email protected]

        1. Faye

          For the information of anyone reading this…Rose has never been banned. To my knowledge she has never received so much as a warning so a ban was impossible. She wont admit to being wrong though that I can assure you of. The banning she spoke of was either computer error, server error or site error but I defy anyone to convince her of that.

        2. 2doghouse

          now who is calling who names… really below the belt faye – in case this is an unknown phrase in your part of the world, it means an insult – from Queensbury rules, no punch is to be thrown below the belt.

  23. Faye

    I dont see the point in continuing with any of this. Everyone who joins should read the Terms and know the rules of the site. As adults everyone will believe only what they want to believe and no amount of proof either way will convince them either way. This is natural especially when defending a friend. No-one is perfect in this world and can make mistakes which sometimes lead to consequences. There will always be someone who doesnt like what has happened here in the past but no amount of words will change that. By the same token there will be others who will approve of these events but we will seldom hear from these people who don’t want to be on the sharp edge of the tongues of those who disapprove. What has happened has happened and life goes on.

  24. Rob

    I’m going to end posting on this thread now. Seems like it has run it’s course and from what I can see it’s only going to escalate further, which for the good of all Chatters looking to enjoy the blogs/site I’m not going to allow to continue.

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