When A Friend IS Down

When a friend is down, what do you do? When someone is down and has a problem in the chat room, what do you do? Do you make a hasty exit? Do you ignore them? Do you lecture or do you feel uncomfortable and and look heavenward; maybe praying for yourself more than them.
Well, try not to contradict their words or feelings and do any of the above. The classic is the gentleman gives the lady a hanky and dries her tears and naturally the tenderness from a brawny male touches her and she knows she is loved. Do some version of this; yes, it works in real life. Once a friend ran to greet me with a hug and my toe nail got kicked almost off, It was as much my fault as hers, but she was so busy apologizing, taking the blame and offering anything and everything that I was so distracted and feeling so safe and special, that I felt almost no pain. I never forgot that lesson. Help a friend in any way that you can that is appropriate. Listen. Listen. Listen, but not mutely; let them know you understand. Say, I see, I understand, yes, and touch them with tenderness. If they don’t want to talk, stay with them and offer food, or, drink, or anything that makes them more comfortable, but do it wisely with good timing. Yes, feel their pain, give them some of your energy by taking some of their burden, that is what a good friend does.When a friend is down lift them up and if they cannot get up, sit down or lie down with them. I don’t think saying you will pray for them will help much because they are down and have lost hope and or faith. You need to be an angel, yourself, or apologize and admit your helplessness or lack of compassion. Whatever you do, do not violate the suffering person and make the problem worse by contradicting, lecturing, and justifying your actions to yourself and others. If you cannot show love and compassion, or just cannot help; accept your own weakness or lack of capacity, and do no harm to a friend because you are really ashamed of yourself. When a friend is down show them some love; let them feel they are valued by being worth some time and effort. I like the expression, “he is not heavy, he is my brother”, When a friend is down, lifting them is easier to bear than leaving them and we all need to know more about how to do it wisely and well. Please let me know of your wisdom and your special ways of comfort that work and I know that many are better at it than I am and I do want to do it better.