What was your vision ??
Hello Peeps……….cast your mind back to your teens, twenties……..what way did you envisage your life going………..for the girlies was it the fairy tale wedding, country cottage, 2.4 children ( never did figure out what the point 4 was, maybe an arm or a leg of a offspring )……..large garden with chickens, couple of dogs and a cat….maybe even a goat for fresh milk……..you in the kitchen cooking and baking for your family, waiting in anticipation for your handsome, loving, always happy and smiling husband to return from work,……….now for the guys, what was your dream for the future………a Pilot flying to far off lands, a sailor sailing off to exotic countries with the local beauties throwing themselves at your feet (you wish )…………a scientist discovering an amazing pill to let women eat all the goodies they desire and still lose weight (you definitely would have the women throwing themselves at your feet, they would literally be kissing them…….but now back to reality………did you let your passion and lust get the better of you…….make your girl pregnant, rushed wedding, lived with the in laws till you got a council property, and lived happily ever after………do tell…..lol……….
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My overriding ambition was to lose my cherry….Oh!..And get a motor bike…..either one would have made my happy. 🙂
Haaaa……..I’m sure you lost your Cherry eventually………wasn’t that what every hour of every day boys thoughts were filled with……..an all engulfing overwhelming desire to become a ” man “………the motorbike may have taken a little longer to acquire……….£10 down and a £1 week…….or something like that…….
Oh no I had no desire for any of that, I didn’t want children, (I now have 2). I didn’t want to get married (I did briefly once). Then I met my soul mate but I was never the quintessential, bake, cook, clean person! My house is clean and I do cook but because I like it, not because of anyone else needs me to do it! I am now single after 30 years and my son and I cook and clean together as needed. I am happy I had children and love them with all my heart. I’m happy I had a good relationship for 30 years but now it’s time to move on and I’m also happy about that. To love and be loved is a magical thing but when it’s over it’s over! No point in flogging a dead horse because of age!
Hi Blondie, seems fate had different ideas for what you didn’t want initially……
but turned out good for you……..I quite agree with you about moving on, when its over its over………but so many couples for whatever reasons stay in their mundane relationships…….its just easier to plod on…….financial, family, fear of being alone……. to much disruption to start again……
Yes and I would’ve been one of them, and I’m happy it worked the way it did at least my ex-partner and I can both be happy now and friends with each other!
Annemarie, I read your comments and answered them, now they seem to have disappeared….oh dear !!
Starlette, I deleted what I wrote and thought I would rewrite it . 🙂
I was planning after graduation from High School to get an Accounting Degree but became pregnant after graduation and my high school sweet heart . We had a son the following April in 59. I became a Mother a 17 and then in Oct. 64 I had another child a daughter . Raising my children and being a Mother at such a young age well l had alot to learn about being a Mother and a wife . I had to learn to cook which to this day I am not a good cook like my Mother was. In 1964 my husband took a job with Black and Decker and we moved to Towson, Md. where we lived till 66 when he took a job with a company in Elyria , Ohio and we lived there for 2 years and then my husband took a job with General Motor’s Terex Division in Hudson , Ohio and we moved to Stow, Ohio. Then my husband took a job with Black and Decker in Solon, Ohio and in 1970 the transferred him back to Towson, Md. I was a Kindergarden Teacher’s aid at Stoneleigh Elementary School where my daughter went . Then in 73 my husband took a new job up in Harrisburg, Pa. and we moved to Camp Hill, Pa. and lived there for one year. Then Digital Equipment Co. up in Westfield. MA. offered my husband a job and we moved to West Springfield, Ma. and lived there for 3 years. Then Digital opened a plant up in Burlington, Vt. and we moved up to Burlington in 78 . Then in 1979 my husband got a job back here in Towson, Md. So we moved back and lived here till 1983 when Apple Computer offered my husband a job to be the Quality Control Manager at their Macintosh Computer Factory in Fremont. Our son stayed in MA. when we moved to Vermont. Our daughter was in her second year of college when we moved to Fremont and she stayed in college at the U of Baltimore . We lived for 11 years in California and in 93 my husband passed away and I moved back to Timonium, Md. in 95 as my daughter and her husband and my grandsons lived here. While in Fremont I went to work for Marshalls which TJ Maxx bought while I was working at the store in California. I transferred to Marshalls in Towson, Md. when I moved back in 95. I retired after 17 years with Marshalls at the age of 60 and I enjoyed traveling and spending alot of time with my 2 grandson’s . So in 2001 I retired sold my house and bought a new condo and that I hope will be my last move until I pass and then will be laid to rest with my husband up home in Greencastle , Pa.
Well I cannot complain too much, life has given me quite a lot and I’ve done much that I wanted. Not everything worked out to plan, somethings did not work out and though hurtful at the time, those disappointments so often led to different opportunities and often turned out for the best in the end.
Success in drama at school, playing such roles as the Archbishop of Canterbury. Macbeth LOL I thought I’d like the acting life???? Well that didn’t happen and probably a good thing.Didn’t think of marriage but I did and I’ve done 56yrs. of it God help me. I didn’t think of children but had sons that I love and I think they love me. Friends always thought I would go into politics but did not.I could not play that game so that’s OK.
I’d say life gives you a hand of cards so play with what you’ve got and make the best of it.
Hi Rock…….best laid plans and all that…….you most certainly have to play the cards you are dealt, what’s the option……….I always remember a quote……..”.Some people spend so much time looking back at the door that has closed ….. they don’t see the one that has opened in front of them”……..your dip into into dramatic acting didn’t work out……..Politicians are the best actors ever………but what bigger dramatic stage is there than life……Pheww……… and we all get a role on that stage….
I don’t really recollect any plans I might have made for my future when I was younger. This might explain the somewhat chaotic path my life has taken. A teenage pregnancy , a disastrous marriage , acrimonious devorce and , just to add insult to injury , a physically abusive relationship that I stupidly enjured for nearly a decade. But there was a light at the end of my tunnel. Back in 1995 I met a truly wonderful man who swept me off of my feet. He turned out to be the love of my life, my soul mate and 23 years later we are still together. I thank my lucky star every day that our paths crossed or maybe it was preordained —- Who knows ! ?
Wow!! Scorpio were you a naughty child……lol….you sure paid a penance…..anyway you got there in the end, and learned some valuable lessons along the way I would think……..I am a great believer in fate…….you had to wait a while for your soul mate, but more than worth the wait…..may you have many more happy years together…….
Starlette, I have enjoyed your blog and reading the life stories. I don’t have time to write a long story, but I did not have a vision but I loved to read and study and did it all my life. I did want to go to school and I did and got 3 advanced degression and one license and three certifications plus 3 school certifications.
I had an idealistic view of love and marriage, and very little information. I expected to get married and have children and live a traditional life. That did not work out and I got a different life.
I did well for women of my day. I did not have a plan, I just worked and took what opportunities that came my way and tried to mend after the bad episodes.
I just visited my granddaughter and she has a plan. She feels she is an equal partner with her husband. I hope her life goes as planned, but if not, I hope she will plan again. Life always has surprizes.
Hello Rose…….you had the idealistic expectations as many do……..the path sometimes diverts and you have to go down it…………you were clever enough to recognise the opportunities that came your way, and took advantage of them………good of your granddaughter to see herself has a equal partner…….and why indeed wouldn’t she be…….times have changed and women are no longer the stay at home wife’s tending to the families needs……no matter how good a marriage, and how rosy the future looks, life’s events happen….learn to be independent and stand on your own feet…….nobody’s future is set in stone……
Starlette,
I married three times and have had and continue to have memories of wonderful relationships with all three of my Husbands (sadly) one of my Husbands is now sadly deceased….none the less,….I was very blessed….
I was sooo passionate about my career with my Travel Agency….I do miss that time in my life ,…. and pray for a new passion….I never wanted Children….I never had any Children and…. at times I wonder if that was my wisest of choices….As it turned out I could not have any Children….sooooo the choice was taken out of my hands….
AS Ever,
Sunshine
I still might catch myself ever so often wondering about what might have been….
AS Ever, Sunshine
Hi Sunshine…….you were extremely lucky to have three happy relationships with your husbands……..I am tempted to ask why the marriages failed if the relationships were good……….or did you form better relationships after you parted and the pressure was off……not being nosy….just curious…….it isn’t the same thing honest…..lol…….the children were not to be, so just as well you didn’t have a burning desire for them……..there are a lot of what ifs in life……don’t look back with regrets…….. everything that happens to us happens for a reason……look forward to new horizons…….
Dear Starlette,
First I simply must tell YOU how YOUR Blog about ”Deceit” was to make
me anxious to , perhaps get to know YOU, at least a bit ….
Thank YOU ever so much for understanding….and from what YOU wrote to me
it does truly appear as though YOU do understand ,my perhaps, unconventional life….
I shall hope to hear from YOU again….perhaps, we might even share a cup
of coffee or better yet , a flute or so of champagne together….(smiling)
AS Ever,
Sunshine777
As a child my sister and I both wanted to have nice marriages, about three children and, most of all, a happy home and family. We both did. There were times that we had problems but I think that’s part of life. Jim and I are married for 54 years now. All three children live close. Three grandchildren a wonderful blessing! I think this was our big dream because we didn’t grow up in a happy home. Our parents had some terrible problems, it wasn’t their fault but we wanted what we didn’t have growing up and wanted our children to just grow up without a home full of nonstop troubles and crying all the time…..and it’s all about love? and appreciating a beautiful simple life. What a misfit am I on this blog!
Hello Rose……..you most certainly are not a misfit………you got what you wanted, but it wouldn’t have come without a great deal of tolerance and compromise, most marriages that go the course have had to be worked at……I can see why you would have been determined to have a happy marriage having been raised in a unhappy one ……..the scars that unhappy childhood homes can leave are immense……… I think you have hit the nail on the head, appreciating a simple life………sometimes the more ambitious we become the unhappier we become……
Thank you for the kind words, Star. You have are very understanding. If your husband/wife gets on your last nerve and you become quarrelsome, it’s a good idea I found to stop and remember how it felt when you fell in love and all the reasons you did. See it, feel it and it comes right back. It’s a good recipe that requires no cooking. ?
When I was a lot younger I wanted to be a nurse, when I left school I worked on a family run farm crops and animals. Animals get sick I would help look after them.
When I got married my first born was very ill, he was only home for about 9 months and spent the rest of his short 2 years in hospital as he had a very rare genetic condition I would go and see him every day if I could, he was always pleased to see me and got upset when I had to leave him.
A few years later my husband got a terminal illness I looked after him at home, he died at home.
So in a way I was nursing.
Hello Sugar, you may not have become a nurse in the professional sense as such, but you certainly did your share……..it takes a kind, caring, patient, person to carry out nursing duties………..you have had some heart wrenching situations to deal with…….but you did out of love and compassion……true qualities to possess………
You certainly were nursing Sugrnspice and your loved ones where so lucky to have you. The best of nurses have a vocation to help others and whether they have paper qualifications or not it does not matter as much as having the “heart” to give and care. Before anyone takes me to task , I’m not denigrating the need of technology and skilled experience but caring and heart makes it all easier.As an ex-nurse I can say that.
Nurses are THE BEST! Not everyone can do that job. My daughter’s friend became a nurse following in the footsteps of her mom. She worked in geriatrics. She liked it very much but the politics of the hospital (mostly the doctors) led her to leave this profession and go to being a travel agent. She loves it and has no one at home to be leaving when she travels on her ‘test trips’ all over the world.