What is life now?
I’ve never written a blog before so this is a new experience for me. I do find comfort in journaling so maybe this is the same. The question I posted above is prompted by the fact that I’ve been a widow for 5 months. I’m trying to figure out what life holds for me now. I’ve been a daughter, mother, sister, grandmother and wife. Of all these roles, being the wife of my soulmate was the most rewarding and at times frustrating. Without going into the details of my relationship, I can truly say that my husband had all the qualities that melded well with my personality. Now that he’s gone, I’m finding it a challenge to focus on myself. I’ve always had someone in my life that I took care of. Now, I just have myself to take care of (excluding my 2 beagles). The only person I have to ask for permission or input on a decision is myself. That is truly an overwhelming feeling as I come to decisions after much rumination. Having someone to bounce ideas off of or to get input from has always been part of my decision making process. I suppose it’s a process. I have to trust myself and determine what is best for me. But I really miss having that other person that I trust in my life. So what is my life now? I’ll continue to cautiously move forward.
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Hi Micki. Just found your post. I can feel your struggle to be a unit of one after a lifetime of caring for others. I hope you are finding your way. 💕
Micki, you stated a major problem that you feel after the loss of a like partner and that is what you had and you were lucky and you are suffering a really great loss. A real life partner is a wonderful thing. I understand and sympathize. After some of the shock and grief subsides, you will,hopefully, find a trusted person or a group or cause to work with and for since you like to help others and can work with another person well. This site is a good start and there are people here that you will get to know and trust to share problem and life in general. Micki, a good church or group and cause could help. I saw you knit and instead of knitting alone join a group of knitters . If you want more help, feel free to Private messages me. Your caring and collaborating nature will open many doors for you and are needed, so you need to look around and find what you need and give what you can. There are all kinds of people who can help with all kinds of problems and questions, and that won’t be the same as your one steady reliable person, but it can be fun to be the one who gets to make the final answer. There are many kinds of groups on this that you may find helpful and if none suit you, you can start your own, I hope you feel better soon and are making a new life for yourself. Hugs and good wishes.
Hello, Micki, from the United States. I am sorry for your husband’s death. The transition to focusing on oneself can take some getting used to. However, from reading what you have written, I think that you will make sound decisions in the future on your own. Grief is a process that takes some time to resolve. I hope you are reaching out to friends, family, or a grief counselor to help you through the process. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Many blessings to you in your journey.