What are you afraid of……..

Hi everyone, one thing I am afraid of is heights, never realised this till I was 13 and went on the big wheel at the fairground, the chair stopped at the top of the wheel and the girls I was with began to rock it, terrified isn't the word..........deep still water, streams no problem..........when on a cruise on the top deck I don't go within six foot of the rail, you will never catch me looking over it.......the dark....always keep the hall light on overnight, I say I use it has a deterrent against a break in, but its really to keep the ghosties away........on a more serious note I fear living to a great age and becoming dependent on others, all dignity goes out of the window........I fear becoming ill and having to be admitted to hospital.......I fear contacting a disease that will eventually kill me but I will have to suffer it first, Euthanasia should be passed sooner rather than later, could this be down to religious teachings again ( God giveth and God taketh away )...yes but you must suffer months of agony first, loneliness,  yes I have a good family but I also know they have a life to live and jobs to hold down.  I don't dwell on these things, not at all, I have a good life compared to many, but one day...

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Published in Childhood & Memories

Comments

  1. vonMichael

    Good Morning Star,

    you describe your fears and grave concerns that many people have also and …. they
    never mention them to others, theay just don’t talk about them.

    Those fears mostly turn up in their dreams known as nightmares and the psychology says
    to fight them is just doing what frightens deliberately. I know a women who went into
    panic attack by just knowing she would have to use an escalator downstairs to get to the
    exit of the buliding.

    Nightmares produced out of the subconsciousness can have a great influence one the
    daily life of a person. xxxM

  2. starlette Post author

    Hello Michael, the fear of deep water is pretty rational because I cannot swim, of heights the fear of falling……..the light on, I need to know if anything is floating around in the bedroom…lol………the other concerns re ageing and illness…….yes you could call them nightmares but none the less very real……xxx

    1. roseinbloom

      Starlette, Your fears are pretty common to all. Even the ghostie fear is quite common. I refuse to allow that fear, but every once in a while something strange does happen. The irrational fears or exagerated fears need to be controlled and faced and not allowed to grow bigger than necessary.
      Aging is a scary process and the alternative is not without fear, so it is just the human condition. I cannot say God will save me when I know I don’t deserve any better than the rest of the ones that have gone on before. I do just HOPE for the best and focus on making good use of the time that I have.

      1. starlette Post author

        Hi Rose……when the fears get out of hand that’s when the problems start,
        but we can usually allay them and get on with living our day to day life, all we can do…….

        1. roseinbloom

          So true, starlet tell and I see other people who get through some very bad issues with courage and determination. I hope better laws are passed in this country. Euthanasia should be available and easier and Marianas should be legal. I need to laugh through some of this.

          1. starlette Post author

            Whacky Baccy……..lets all get high…. then we wont worry about anything….lol……

          2. roseinbloom

            My spellcheck corrected Marijuana up there. I hope it doesn’t do it again. Pot or weed, if it does, is very controversial In the US.

    2. len1932

      I do not like heights and the second step on the ladder is high enough. Even though I retired from the Air Force I do not like to fly in an airplane. Had too many close calls, removed from Navy passenger plane before it crashed 46 and kill all, plane lost an engine on take off and stop just short of water Med Sea, blew 2 tires on landing and plane all over the runway, Several more that make we take AMTRAK as travel around the country.

      1. starlette Post author

        Hi Len…..I know your fear…….well your experiences would certainly put you off flying………did you know you had a fear of heights before you joined the Air Force…..??

        1. len1932

          Yes, when I was kid in Iowa we would change the storm windows on the house on the second floor my younger brother would go up the ladder as I held it.

  3. goldengirl1224

    My lifelong fear – is snakes and worms — cannot abide them – can’t even look at them on screen. Of course, they always seem to find me. On one occasion when I lived in Canada, my neighbour asked me to look after her ageing dog – no problem!
    As I approached her front door – she had a flower garden on either side of the door — and people used to buy plastic snakes to sit in the garden to stop the birds damaging the plants –there sat a snake – plastic decoy I thought — but then it moved — I think I covered the distance between our two homes in record time!
    On another occasion early in the morning as I was leaving home – and driving down the gravel country road where we lived – right in the middle was a huge snake – as there were ditches on either side I had no choice but to drive over it and hope it had not managed to somehow get caught up in the undercarriage of the car I had – which was a low sports car! I was terrified all the drive to the parking lot where I left my car – and absolutely convinced that it was somewhere under the body of the car. Thank goodness nothing ever showed up –but Ugggg! – still sends shivers down my spine.
    Don’t mind the dark, mice, birds, bats, etc. but absolutely terrified of the wrigglies!

  4. starlette Post author

    Hi Goldengirl,……….don’t know what you would have done if the snake had been tangled under your car …….sheesh……..snakes I can live with cos the only ones I see are in safe places………now mice and rats scuttling about nooooooo…….lol

  5. Rockflower

    Hi Star, there are lots of things I dislike but I would not say I’m afraid of them particularly. I’m not keen on reptiles but they don’t paralyse me with fear. I did go down a mine once and did not like that experience , I could feel the weight of earth above me and while I would never choose to work in a mine or go potholing….I did not have a panic attack. I take more care with heights and drops now but I think it is a symptom of age, I’m not as physically strong as I was and I know I cannot function as I once did.
    I do have one irrational fear that I cannot totally account for, this is being trapped in a car or boat sinking in water. I will not drive onto a wharf, I will not stay in a car driving over a small bridge. I will get out and walk on to wharf or walk across the bridge, no problem. I can swim that is not the anxiety. I made a special effort to find out what one should do if you are in a sinking car and go through that advice in my mind. On a ferry I always stay on deck if possible. I can control myself but I am greatly relieved when driving away on a real road again. Someone once told me that, I probably died that way in a past life……… Who knows?

    1. goldengirl1224

      That was my great fear, Star – when I arrived at the parking lot – I walked around the car – even popped the hood/bonnet – but god only knows what I would have done had the snake been there – dead or alive! The whole town would have heard me!
      It took me several days to be comfortable that it was not hidden dead or alive any where in the car and would not suddenly come crawling out from the under the seats — had my hubby check it all over too!!

      1. starlette Post author

        Haaaaa………….it could have shed its skin……For Sale……super little sports car with beautiful snakeskin upholstery………

    2. starlette Post author

      Hi Rockflower……..I can well relate to your dread of crossing bridges in a vehicle, I even hate walking over them if there is deep water underneath……….a past life, who knows, I have on more than one occasion experienced Deja Vu…….must be something in the subconscious somewhere………haven’t a clue what………not sure how truthful the TV programmes are that I have watched on transgression………..guess we will never know

  6. rose1943

    In the past couple of years I am tied to my house. I don’t know if it’s called Agoraphobia or not. I had an injury that causes problems in my neck which causes imbalance problems. Once in a while my vision will get messed up and everything goes to the left. In the house I can feel my way to lie down on a bed or couch. I just relax and know it will all come back to normal. Once when I was watering the front, it happened and I had to feel my way all the way through the gangway and up the back stairs to lay down. I have physical therapy exercises that I can do but that’s all that will remedy this. I’m pretty sure the disc is herniated by the neck as I had that in my lower back and can remedy that easily. I like worms but do not like snakes. Never had seen one here except in movies. Thank goodness. I’m afraid of wasps, not fond of bees. Those guys cause some pretty big pain if they getcha. I hate big swarms of bugs, any kind. I very rarely am in a car and have no thoughts of sinking in one. I’m mostly scared of my anxiety , Generalized Anxiety Disorder I’ve had for years and years. Had 15 total years of therapy. It’s like I’m so scared and don’t know what I’m scared of. Wierd, I know. Good to get this out and read other’s fears. Thanks, Star, for this great blog!

  7. starlette Post author

    Hi Rose…….its always good to share things, we often find we are not alone in our fears and sometimes other people maybe able to offer tips and advice ….the fear of open spaces is Acrophobia, I am no shrink but I can understand your fear of going out in case you overbalance and fall…..I know there are different types of anxiety, my nieces son was diagnosed with social anxiety, that is a fear of going out and mixing with people, It started when he was about 13 and he was no longer able to attend school, no idea what brought it on……..5 years down the line he is doing fine, it took a while, he started by going a few yards up the road on his bike, he knew he could get back home quicker on his bike when he felt the panic rising, each day he would go a little further……..luckily for him he conquered his irrational fears……..I am smiling to myself here because sometimes we get worried because we have nothing to worry about, we seem to be waiting for something to go wrong then we can worry again….funny old lot arnt we……… I don’t have the answer to your problem, wish I had………the best meaning people in the world can tell you to relax and try not to worry………oh but it were so easy……

  8. rose1943

    Thank you for your kind words, Star. You give so much to others by giving of yourself in Senior Chatters. Want you to know that. By the way, not to be a Smarty Pants but Acrophobia is the fear of heights often called Vertigo. Agoraphobia is fear of public and public places. A similar word is fear of spiders but I can’t remember it. Right now there is a huge moth wedged between my windows. He hasn’t moved all day. With the a/c in the window I’ll probably have to look at dead moth until October when a/c comes out. I think I’ll have to name him?? My Science teacher daughter loves bugs of all kinds so maybe she’ll find a way to get him free. She has an Australian Bearded Dragon for a pet that her students named Elvis. He lives bugs too! Again thanks, Star.

    1. starlette Post author

      Hi Rose………yes you are correct I omitted the g……..Arachnophobia is the fear of spiders……so many phobias……… Vertigo is dizziness, I recall suffering from this many years ago for two weeks, I think it was brought on by stress, at the time I was moving house………but ear problems, neck complaints, all sorts of reasons can cause dizziness……..Oh the joys…….lol…..

    2. roseinbloom

      Rose, sometimes we start staying home and liking it too much. I got like that for a while. I Had to push myself to go out. The more I went out the easier it became. You do have a medical problem and I did also. I had allergies but that wasn’t enough reason to stay home. I can take medication. I know people who let little stop them. They went to Thailand on crutches. A woman went to New York on a walker and her hip went out but she got out of the hospital and continued the tour.Rose, I can understand that you are not troubled with snakes where you live though many people may not.

  9. Drummer

    Hi Starlette I guess I must be one of the lucky ones, for all those things I feared as a child have long gone – I was terrified of the dentist or medical surgery – but oddly enough no longer – I guess I have had to accept the lack of choice if these situations occur.
    My real worry are the rapidly advancing years – not so much worrying about dying – but how I finally go- do I lose my mind .. Will I retain my dignity etc.
    A very good choice of subject – Thank you!

    1. starlette Post author

      Hi Drummer………as we age we know these things are inevitable, so in a way we have no choice but to accept them……..its the dignity bit and still having all your faculties that’s a bit disarming, if you get my meaning…….if I lose my marbles I wont know but my family will, and as we know that’s devastating for them……I don’t fear death, I like to think there is something elsewhere but who knows…….
      fingers crossed….lol…..

      1. Rockflower

        Star, Drummer, I think most if not all people do not really fear death, it is the process which is the problem. We all fear some kind of Alzheimer’s and I think the early stages of that must be torture, when you fully realise what is happening to yourself. It is very frightening too for the victim, not only that they are losing their abilities but their whole world around them becomes strange and unexplainable. Like being in some weird arty film, where everything is just off kilter and people’s faces look like a Picasso painting. As You say Drummer it is awful for the relatives watching this creeping death, the shell of the body is still there but the essence of that person is going or gone.Death when it comes is a relief but then the relatives often feel guilty for feeling that relief.
        We have an added worry these days because we can not just assume , so called professionals will treat our loved one with kindness and respect. we read of such horror stories in newspapers and these are only the cases where the crimes have come to light.
        I think all people should have a good death, given drugs to numb any pain. Pain can be numbed it is discomfort, like trouble with breathing or cramps which are more difficult. Give what ever drugs it takes to make a person feel easy and I don’t believe in this withholding of water to drink or food if wanted. Provide nice smells round the person, smell is one of the last senses to go they say. I do think there is a kind of life after Star. No angels playing harps,but if you sit with someone or even an animal, you feel the moment that they die. What are you feeling? I reason it is this: We all have ( for want of a better word ) , energy that is in every cell of our bodies, this energy is the “electric” that fires as our brains think, that tells the heart to beat. That energy is the essence of who we are. Perhaps another word for this energy could be “soul”. At the point of death that energy leaves anyone near the body know it. We know it is a law of physics, energy is never lost only converted. It leaves the body goes somewhere in the greater universe, converted???? does it gather somehow to enter a new body? does it become the wind? Or do we become the light of a star, who knows? Not me to big for me to work out but I’m convinced that in this strange way we live for ever.
        It is true that a person is forever alive in our memories, I talk to dead people all the time in my head. I ask loved dead relatives advice, I see something I know a past friend of mine would have appreciated and I think ….well what would you have thought of that? It’s OK don’t send the van round to pick me up yet LOL! But they are alive in my memories. and always will be……. Take care people………

        1. starlette Post author

          Hi Rockflower, don’t want to get too morbid but I also do agree you know when a person is no longer there…………but I have to relate to something which happened to me without going into great detail……..my brother was ill and my sister and myself had been taking it in turns to stay over and care for him, one morning I was on my way to his home when I received a phone call from my sister saying that he had died in the early hours and been taken to hospital……I went straight to the hospital and was shown into a small room where he had been put after being removed from the morgue for my requested visit, now he had been pronounced dead for several hour by the time I saw him, but I knew, felt whatever that he was still there……was I hallucinating, who knows, the mind can play tricks……..but I swear after seeing other people pass and knowing the exact minute they had gone that he was still there…….. so now you can send the white coat workers for me too ….lol

  10. davidrv

    I’ve been thinking about something that frightens me. When I was an electrician, I was uneasy when using the bucket lift on our truck. The truck didn’t have outriggers to stabilize movement, so when the boom used to be fully extended , anytime I’d move and stop, there was this swaying going on. It was only 30 ft high, but any movement when straight up was a little scary.
    Then this other time we had to use the firemen’s ladder truck to access the ballfield lighting that was close to 40 feet in the air. I had to climb up the ladder at an angle and then attach myself to the top rung with a type of carabiner, then I had to dismantle the lighting fixture and do repairs. Again, a light swaying and this time it was windy. At the end of the day I drank water like there was no tomorrow. I know how clothes dry in the wind!
    And then there was this time when I froze one of my ears, again on top of that lift bucket. It was cold and I had nothing but a hard hat on my head. After working for a few minutes I took my hand to check my ear as I didn’t feel the cold anymore. At that instant I felt burning and I lowered the boom to the ground and checked in the van mirror; the top of my ear was white. That was a scary incident. To finish the story, I drove towards the hospital right away, and lowered the window and stuck my left ear in the cold wind. I could see in the side mirror that the white spot was diminishing. At the time I was thinking about frostbite, never put something warm on it, put something cold. About half way to the hospital it was not white anymore. So I turned around and got a winterized hard hat from the shop. Thankfully no damage to my ear. It was red and thick and slightly angled outward for a few weeks. My older daughter had asked what I would do if it stayed that way. I said, I’d freeze the other ear to match!

    1. Rockflower

      David, In our long cold winters storms when our power goes off , I do offer a prayer for our linesmen and their loved ones who must be worried stiff.
      Up a pole in high winds and numbing cold or even in an ice storm….they are all heros round here.

  11. starlette Post author

    Hi David………Gawd just reading what you have wrote gives me the shudders, but so pleased we have people willing to do such jobs……..glad the ear returned to normal and that you had a sense of humour about it, but I doubt you would have frozen the other ear to match…lol……….I very often see pictures of men in other countries thousands of feet up on bridges and buildings walking on narrow ledges without any safety harnesses…….are they insane…….I hasten to add these are from countries who don’t have the Health and Safety policies that we have in place………but the policies could be a whole new blog, some of them have gone too far and have actually caused deaths…….

  12. CSweet51

    Spiders and Snakes and Heights Oh My!
    Ice and Falling and Surgery Oh My!
    That about covers it Oh My!
    It’s a bite getting older lol!

    1. starlette Post author

      Hi sweets……..hibernate throughout the Winter to avoid slipping on the ice, therefore you can avoid the surgery on broken limbs…………hang strings of conkers outside your house to deter the Spiders from entering……don’t look out of any windows that are higher then 5ft………maybe Rockflower can give advice on the snakes…lol

      1. CSweet51

        Thank you for the ideas! never had these fears in my youth. I have tried to overcome my fear of snakes by holding one. Sorta worked but if one were to surprise me…..lol! Spiders? I show no mercy.
        I always pick the aisle seat in an airplane. Ice is ice….I don’t go anywhere if it is out there! So I have been working around my fears…lol

        1. goldengirl1224

          CSweet you are so very courageous – – I could not conceive of even touching – let along holding a snake!! – Having achieved the age I am (49 LOL!!!) or Peter Pan – I know that no amount of people encouraging me to ‘try to get close to a snake’ will ever work – same for worms – I know I am a wimp!! This extends into the point when I leave this planet — I do not want to be buried!! – no way – a nice warm furnace for me. I have advised all who know me and a who may be involved in arranging my ‘ final party ‘
          pf this – and will be back to haunt anyone who does not comply with my wishes!!

    1. starlette Post author

      A little spark will get it rekindled into a furnace….lol…….. she could be….Blonde, Redhead, Brunette….who cares…….

  13. cappuccino

    I hope you,r right Star…These days the colour of the tresses can change overnight…As a norti little boy…one could settle the question by a little surruptitious peeking…Alas,nowadays……………….. (sigh)

  14. woodsie

    What I am afraid is that i would not exist if i felt the way i do, my only reason for being is the fact that someone is dependant on me I am a full time carer for,
    After having a birthday a few days ago and feeling so cold and alone with only one purpose in living for being needed by one and not known by anyone other eye wheeling up can’t say more !

    1. starlette Post author

      Hi there Woodsie……..you do exist and you are needed……..its the isolation and the loneliness that affects you the most I think, the responsibility for someone else’s welfare and comfort…..you and all the other carers do a brilliant job, but very often at a cost to the quality of your own lives……..I replied to a post from Pollypie the other day under the loneliness blog………hard to believe she doesn’t see anyone or speak to anyone for weeks at a time…..she says she really isn’t bothered about living any longer………I do wish yourself and some of the other members would send her a message……..could help you and I’m absolutely sure it would help her….

  15. cappuccino

    Woodsie
    For some years now I,v read posts from you about what a sad and lonely life you lead,Iv never read anything positive from you……..Do you honestly think that you are the only person that has to be a carer for someone else ? In your case,your wife !……There are many thousands who are in the same position you are, indeed there,s possibly some senior chatters ,I dont know…I can only speak from personal experience …I,v never mentioned this on SC before and I never will again,but for many years I have been a 24/7 carer for a lady with dementia,who lives across the street from me..she is not my wife,not a relation in any way , she is just another human being who needs help,because nobody else is prepared to give it to her,certainly not her sibling,nor her children….. I know what its like Woodsie,the constant 24/7,365 days a year ,Having to feed,clean ,shower,toilet and look after the affairs of someone else,to the detriment of ones own life…not for us the hugs,kisses ,looks of love , that others enjoy…just the constant grind of it all………Iv seen many senior chatters over the years give you posts of encouragement and pity…all power to them,I hope you have taken heart from them..I just wish you could find a more positive outlook on life and try to stop moaning about your shitty life..its very depressing , I have to wonder how many others feel that way,but are too nice to mention it….I will probably be censured severly for posting this. and It may result me being banned from the site,but I just feel it was something that needed to be said
    Rant over !

    1. roseinbloom

      Cappucino, You are amazing to do what you do, but what one person is able to do, is not what another is able to do. I do think you have the right to share your opinion as you did here. If you don’t, being here would be of no value.

  16. vonMichael

    Hello Cappu,
    what you did for that person living opposite of your house is great and can’t be honoured enough!
    But what you did is only one side of the medal. This person has given you a lot back not knowing ofit which seems to be the other side.
    Great, best regards Michael

  17. starlette Post author

    That’s not likely to happen Susan unless your alone and unloved when your alive,
    we can be alone but not unloved, families have commitments and have to work, but I would say by and large they are there for you in illness and at death….hopefully……

  18. pearly163

    I am afraid of going very far from home. I became agoraphobic 40 years ago. At that time I wasn’t able to get on a bus, go into a shop, go to the hairdressers etc. I have now overcome it to a great extend, but still don’t like being very far from home.