this is a bit naughty…please do not read if easily offended you have been warned….
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husband’s point of view) !!!!!
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
… T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t#t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!!!!
By Pam Ayres of course..!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀
Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters
OMG Pollie, Pam Ayres, a name from the past. She made me laugh with her funny poems. What ever happened to her ?
She’s still touring Pollypie.
yes i think she is starlette she is brill 🙂 🙂
she is still good pollypie and thanks hun 🙂 🙂
😀 😀 x
thanks merver 🙂 🙂
That is Brilliant , really made me laugh , thanks Pollie xxxx
thanks eddy glad you liked it hun |xx 🙂 🙂
hahahaha pollie so funny xx
thanks cath glad ya liked it xx 🙂 🙂
Not bad poll concidering you never finished the book Hahaahaha!. That was great, made me laugh my er! head off LOL. 🙂 x
i know shads and i still havent as yet hahahaha!!! 🙂 🙂 xx
Brill and funnny . lol
thanks cinta 🙂 🙂
Loved it pollie she is brill as you say,hahahaha …
yep she is mac infact she is nearly as good as you hun haha!!! 🙂 🙂
polly the very best loves you lol lol lol xxx
wow john thanks for that hun…cos’ ya luv’s me ive sent you a friend request lol!!!! thought we had better get to know one another first if we are gonna ‘love’ lolol!!! 🙂 🙂 😀 😀
LOL 🙂
thanks Pam 🙂 🙂
OMG I spit out my own teeth and I don’t even wear dentures; so funny! OB
It must have bin good then OB cos’ your an hard act to follow hun infact your comment was funnier than the actual post lolol!!!! 🙂 🙂
lol polly so funny…did read the book after buying it in the church christmas sale!!!!!!!! need to have a word with the vicar!…what a load of old dentures it was too!!!!!!!
i sure think you do friendlya haha as long as they dont preach it at one of their sermons lol!!! 😀 😀
pollie that is shocking and that is why i liked it hee hee!
I know jcb i try to shock now and again hun haha!!! 🙂 😀
Brilliant lol a laugh out loud poem 🙂
thanks roseanne glad you liked it 🙂 🙂
Love Pam Ayres – thanks SO much for posting that Pollie – haven’t read it for ages….Pam certainly is a very funny lady – I was lucky enough to see her when she was in Sydney some years ago…one of the best acts I’ve seen, and she just sat/stood there and recited “poetry”..brilliant… Lina xxxx
she is ace isnt she lina and yes i would love to see her i bet the place was in uproar..she only has to stand there and i start laughing..she’s the best 😀 😀
will you marry me lol lol xx
wow john..hmmm i’ll have to think about that…right ive thought YES YES hahahaha!!!!! 😀 😀 my first ever proposal in here love it lol!!! 😀 😀 😀 after i get divorced of course lololol!!! 😀 😀
hold on l never knew you was married bet hes a big fella to lol lol xx