this is a bit naughty…please do not read if easily offended you have been warned….

FIFTY SHADES OF GREY – (a husband’s point of view) !!!!!

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
… T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left t#t!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one”!!
Well readers, I can’t tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey!!!!!

By Pam Ayres of course..!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀

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    1. wow john thanks for that hun…cos’ ya luv’s me ive sent you a friend request lol!!!! thought we had better get to know one another first if we are gonna ‘love’ lolol!!! 🙂 🙂 😀 😀

  1. lol polly so funny…did read the book after buying it in the church christmas sale!!!!!!!! need to have a word with the vicar!…what a load of old dentures it was too!!!!!!!

  2. Love Pam Ayres – thanks SO much for posting that Pollie – haven’t read it for ages….Pam certainly is a very funny lady – I was lucky enough to see her when she was in Sydney some years ago…one of the best acts I’ve seen, and she just sat/stood there and recited “poetry”..brilliant… Lina xxxx

    1. she is ace isnt she lina and yes i would love to see her i bet the place was in uproar..she only has to stand there and i start laughing..she’s the best 😀 😀

    1. wow john..hmmm i’ll have to think about that…right ive thought YES YES hahahaha!!!!! 😀 😀 my first ever proposal in here love it lol!!! 😀 😀 😀 after i get divorced of course lololol!!! 😀 😀