FIFTY SHADES OF GREY
By Pam Ayres of course..
The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,
I had a look inside her bag;
… T’was “Fifty Shades of Grey”.
Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread…
In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn’t weathered well;
She’s eighty four next week!!
Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!
Now if you knew our Mabel,
You’d see just why I spluttered,
I’d spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I’d uttered.
She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!
Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
“Step on the other one!!
Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
Love Pam Ayres – she is one of a kind. Thanks for posting – I really enjoyed it….xxxxx
WOW!!!! What a story. I don’t get it, but it threw the imagination into overdrive.
This is very funny , I’ve read it before ,but still great fun to read .
If you have read the book or all three ( I’ve only read the first one ) you will find this poem hilarious ! 🙂
Hysterical! I have read all 3 twice. I find my opinion on the trilogy doesnt match most other readers. I loved the poem, love Mabel! If I make it to 84, then I hope to be just like her! LOL…great post! It is no doubt Nmod, a fun read!
Were they too boring for you? lol
Of course not! Smartass!!! This is my favorite trilogy story. lol
Rose, Pam Ayers is such a talented lady, and she has a very strong West Country accent which makes her reading even more enjoyable. 😀
hahaha polly loved pam ayres, that was so funny xx
LOL PollPie. Love pam Ayres and this poem had me laughing my head off. Thanks for the laugh. Oh! by the way..i have read all the 50 shades books!! 😀
Wow shadow, now we know where you get your sense of humour from. LOL 😆
😀 😀 😀 Really???? lol
I loved the books…… But really like this poem. Thanks for sharing!
Ditto girlfriend
So pleased you all liked it. Pam Ayers is one of a kind and can hear her reading this out loud.
😆 😆
Polly , Enjoyed reading this and it made me laugh, as I haven’t read the book Fifty Shades of Gray. 🙂
Hahahaaaaaaaaa…..GO MABEL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only read one book ,but loved the poem ,