things going on

its been a few days…

i attempted to come and write last nite, but for whatever reason, the site would not open.  i worried for a moment that maybe the first place i’ve liked coming to in a while, was shut down.  glad to see it’s still here.

this week has been busy!  end of the month at work is always a little crazy.  i do shipping for a small company and there are quotas…the more you can get out by the end of the month to meet whatever the monthly sales goal was…and so…i do ALOT of shipping in the end, getting in everything they pack.  its busy and i love it, but it’s also tiring at the end of the day.  i do alot of running back and forth from the office to the shop to put paperwork on our products that the truck picks up.  helps keep me fit and not sitting too long.  but again…at the end of the day, i’m pooped, lol.

still tho…i come home to do a work out.  i rarely let that slide, as i know myself too well; if i don’t stay consistent with some things, they begin to slip away and i can’t allow that to happen with my health, so i’m pretty disciplined there.

my family is on “baby watch”.  it’s pretty excited.  my neice is about to give birth to my grand neice.  she lives in another state, but we are all close and keep in touch, so we know it could be any minute.  my guess is that by the end of the weekend, i will be a great aunt, so a sweet little girl named eva.

also…a week from today, i’m taking my first solo trip anywhere…ever.  i’ve been married pretty much my entire life, until this past year, so i’ve not done any traveling alone.  when i first separated from my husband, i gave myself the goal of going to see my best friend.  she’s come here many times over the years, but i’ve rarely gone there.  it requires a plane ride, and i’ve always hated flying.  but…it is important to me, to get over this and go visit my other half. we have been friends for 35 years and we are in contact all the time, but only get to actually see each other a couple of times a year.  she’s very dear to me.  in my life here, i don’t have friends.  my life just kept me so busy at home…that i never took the time to get out and do things with other women.  i regret that now, as i often find myself wishing there were someone to call to go have dinner with, a drink with, or shop with.  but…this is where i am in life.  seeing my tam, will do my heart good, and as nervous as i am about the plan, i’m very excited to get away and have time with her.  it’s only three nites, because i can’t afford to be away from work any longer than that, but i’m going to make the most of those days and i’m grateful that i get them.

the following weekend, will be my daughters baby shower, so i’m looking forward to that as well.  and then…the day after the shower, we will be moving her back into my house.  she’s coming home to have her baby, so that she won’t be alone (the father of the baby has chosen not to be a part of this).

so…things are kinda busy around terriland.  and still with the plans and things to look forward to, i’m struggling in the evenings when i’m alone, with that awful feeling of lonliness.  when does that get easier?  i’m fear it may never get comfortable to me…maybe i waited too long, as this past almost year is the first time i’ve ever been alone in my life.  i don’t know.  i stay as busy as i can…get home, work out, garden, always some sort of home project.  but eventually there comes a quiet patch to the nite, even if it’s when i get into bed.  and when that time comes, i feel such overwhelming sadness, and i don’t completely understand it.  i WANT to be alone.  i truly do.  so why is so difficult?

anyway…just wanted to get a few things into my blog to document the goings on in my life right now and coming up.  i’m off heat up my dinner, as i just finished my work out before sitting down to write.