The Next Chapter

May 3, 2017.  While I've been in limbo since September 1, 2016, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  May 3 the divorce will be final.  What should have been a simple case has turned into a ridiculous 3-ring circus thanks to the attorneys.  Yes, and has gotten ugly and mega stressful even though we started out amicably.

The lawyers are scrambling now as there are deadlines to be met.  Mine was even sending me correspondence over last weekend.  Information that should have been excavated months ago is being sought after now.  I did as much leg work as I could from the beginning.  That's how I roll.  I'm a "get 'er done" type of gal.  I've met with my attorney armed with lists, questions and ideas to expedite matters.....oh that's a huge joke.  They travel at their own speed lining their pockets along the way.  As you can tell I have a very bad taste in my mouth for them.  I pray I never require the assistance of another again.

I suppose I've been in the next chapter all this time but it feels I've been in limbo.  In recent years I've tried to adopt the concept of "enjoying the journey."  This stretch as been a tough one.  When I'm not reeling from a punch I am focusing on a place I can call home.

I am blessed as I at first landed with a dear friend.  She welcomed me with open arms and we split the cost of rent and utilities which was a win, win for both of us.  Then another friend offered me a house sitting gig for the past two months.  This was another blessing as I was chomping at the bit for my own space.  It's been a great run and coming to an end this week.  I will bop around between a couple friends until the divorce is final and I can get my own place.  It looks like that will be in June when a new apartment complex will be available.

I salivate at the thought of setting up housekeeping for probably the last time.  I've done it....let's see too many times to count I guess.  From scratch?  I think this will be number five.  I have been watching too many Youtube videos on simplistic living, minimalism, organizing, and cleaning.  Being a Virgo organizing and cleaning come naturally but always on the lookout for a new and better mousetrap.  I have realized these last months that I need very little when it comes to possessions.  I have travelled lightly bouncing around to and fro.  And I haven't missed trying to find things is a different matter.  I've had things in my car, still at the house, at my friends, at this place where I've been house sitting.  That has been very frustrating!

  I took a break from this writing to drive home from another friend's house several hours away and stop by my lawyer's office.  It's possible that the divorce will be final sooner if everyone has their act together by a date yet to be determined which they call...darn, can't remember.  But the "exhibits" will be presented to the judge.  If we dot all the i's and cross all the t's and the judge is in a good mood....

As I close I guess I've been turning pages in this next chapter.  Very slow reading it's been.  But the pages have been turning.  Or have I been wrapping up the last chapter?  Who knows?  I guess the good news is the pages are turning.  

The semi-colon (;) is a symbol for suicide awareness and survival.  It means, my story isn't over yet.  It has deep meaning for me.  Unfortunately my brother didn't make it.  But I have.  MY story isn't over yet. ;

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Published in Home & Family


  1. Drummer

    So glad to finally hear that you are at least making progress and hopefully things will be able to be finalized in the not too distant future – hopefully no more delays ahead – do keep us posted for we are all with you.
    Kind regards as always

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Thank you Drummer. Being new to blogging, I hesitate, again writing about my situation without sounding like “here she goes again.” It is cathartic and getting replies such as yours does give me fuel to keep on a-going.

      I am cautiously optimistic as I got potentially good news about the pension. But the ink’s not dry yet so that’s why I say cautiously.

      Thank you for always responding. It feels good to have support, even if it’s cyber support. No especially when it’s cyber support!

      1. Drummer

        Glad to hear you are progressing – please know that I am always delighted to hear from you .
        Best wishes for your journey ahead.

  2. roseinbloom

    ididgdirt, You have a wonderful philosophy. No pholosophy will make us calm when life as we know it is in chaos, but you will do better if you try” to enjoy the journey”. You seem to have a lot of friends, which is good. I am amazed that you are looking forward to setting up your home and focusing on what you actually need. I think you will be fine and maybe better than ever.
    I hope you get a fair deal from the judge.

    1. idigdirt Post author

      I do have good friends, I call my tribe. I am looking forward to setting up housekeeping so much because I was limited in what I could do the last 29 years. Living in a ghost’s shadow. It used to make me feel sad and depressed thinking about starting over. Now it excites me.

      I am planning to be better than ever, oh yes I am! I know a bit about the judge. Female and fair.

      Thank you for your comments Rose.

  3. annemarie

    I don’t know you digindirt but wish you all the best in your life and thank you for being able to write about your divorce and that you have such wonderful friends who are there for you. I am sure your S.C. friends are here to lend you support. Again I wish you all the best in what you new life ahead holds for you.

  4. rose1943

    Dear Idigdirt, good luck in all your upcoming endeavors. You had the strength and what it takes to get through all that.? Then, girl, you have the strength to do the ‘next chapter.’ Your blog was very interesting. You poured out your heart. That gives so much to the rest of us. Thank you and all the best to you. Hope you keep us informed! ?

    1. idigdirt Post author

      How sweet rose, thank you. I had to get out….it was affecting my health. Mental and physical. I had to find the courage to do it and go on faith.

  5. Sansoar

    As other SC have said, thank you for sharing your recent journey. So many of us have traveled a similar journey and know that opportunities and open doors appear even though they are hard to imagine at times. I am sure your words have had a healing effect on many and also offered glimmers of hope.

    I am grateful that SC offers a venue for members to share experiences and find an accepting and supportive social network.

    I remember having such a mixed bag of feelings as I set up my condo. It was the first place of my own in my entire life. At the time I was 49 and had two failed marriages behind me with all the financial and emotional implications that were part of those ended relationships. Ten years later, I have no regrets at the decisions I made.

    I have no doubt that with your attitude and circle of friends wonderful things are in store for you…

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Thank you sansoar. Sometimes I feel like I have to write or I’ll explode. Even though I have my friends to sound off to, I’ve always liked to write. It’s very cathartic.

    2. splendid

      Hi Sansoar,

      Splendid here. Well, I found out a few days ago that I can no longer send private messages or be in a group without a premium membership. Will have to think on that for a while. This is not an easy chat site to navigate.

      I have plenty to share with you regarding what you wrote in the above chat comment. I hope to find a way to communicate easily, as I am on the West Coast, and you in the East. I have been a confirmed bachelorette by choice all of my life.

      Even though I have retired, I still do on-call work. This week I am busy all week. It is late where you are when I get in. Hope to make contact again soon. Do you have any suggestions?
      Have a good evening.

  6. splendid

    Thought you might enjoy this: Live, Smile and Learn 🙂

    Five Secrets to a Perfect Relationship
    1) It is important to have a man who helps at home & knows how to cook, clean, and has a job. 2) It is important to have a man who can make you laugh. 3) It is important to have a man you can trust and who wants only you. 4) It is important to have a man who is good in bed & enjoys being with you. 5) It is absolutely vital that these four men don’t know each other…

      1. splendid


        I posted this on the quotes/thoughts for the day site. I wanted to be sure you saw it:
        “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get
        even less than you settled for.”
        — Maureen Dowd

        Have a good day,

  7. bathchairdave

    Look! Behave toward yourself as you would wish others behaved themselves. Treat any few friends you have as a miser treats his gold – You be a great lady and so I will stop “”tarting” u (actually it does titillate) I wish u so well in travelling forward – you be safe and happy