The Male Menopause…..

Hello Peeps, is there such a thing as the male menopause......I dont mean in the physical sense as we poor wretches of women have to endure, or in my own case never had one symptom...Phewww……...no I am thinking as in men trying to hang onto their youth......I will give you a instance...….. a acquaintance of mine husband decided in his 60s to have his ear pierced, he then got rid of the family car and decided that a two door sporty model was more in order, he began to hang out with the young ones in the local pubs, he ended his 40 plus year marriage leaving a good faithful women, children, grandchildren lovely Bungalow, and an outsider would have thought a very nice life style...…..anyway the local single clubs became his lifestyle, although no looker as such he could pull the women, it was a joke amongst the younger men...…...leave me your  telephone number book in your will Alfie...……...time moved on and he now lives at the coast, he was a good artist and I have visions of him sat on the shore painting the Sunset, I have no doubt he enjoyed being "young" again...……...just wondered what happened in his head to make him change his life to such a degree...…..c'mon guys give me some answers...…..of course some women also try to back track to younger years by dressing as teenagers, just dosent work somehow...……...and I know of no women who would take such drastic action in search of her youth...…..except Shirley Valentine...…..

 

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Comments

  1. Slimjim

    Hello Star An interesting but complicated subject. What makes anyone change so dramatically. There is no simple answer. To recapture youth is a dream which some people are almost obsessed with. Trendy clothes night clubbing circle of young friend exchange the wife for a much younger person just a few of the things that happen The bottom line, however, is this. What makes people do it? Speaking as a Man of 67 years old I have never experienced the need for such a change but I do know of those that have. What are the reason kids grown up and left home mortgage paid off little left to achieve career-wise even less to say to the wife of many years almost separate lives. In simple terms Star, i think it is probably the need to reactivate their lives in a more challenging way. because the clock is ticking as it always does and perhaps a degree of panic may have set in as in well is this it for the rest of their days. I look forward to reading other members views on this subject Jim.

  2. roseinbloom

    Thank you for a great topic. Actually men do go through a male menopause that is physical. The hormones begin a decline but it is more gradual than with females. In the forties many men decide to grab a different life for many reasons. I am no expert on what men do and why and they will need to speak on this but probably won’t, so I will continue to surmise. Their hormones are actually changing and therefore their thinking is changing. Some men are actually dying already or having heart warnings or episodes so that may trigger a life change decision. So much for men.
    As for women and menopause. I don’t embrace old age. I wear the prettiest shoes that are reasonably comfortable. I have always been conservatives in my clothes choices. I don’t show cleavage or upper legs, but I do wear blue jeans and denim. I love denim; it is wonderful in many ways. My hair has not turned grey and I do color it as I have for many years. My grandchildren depend on me a lot and I don’t want to appear fragile or OLD. I am going to the gym to be more energetic.
    I want to think progressively and I want to look like a woman who is still in the mainstream and not retired from life. That sums it up, I think.

  3. starlette Post author

    Hiya Jim…….I guess you have summed it up……..a last grasp at life as it were………how many would love to have the courage to do it…….things are drooping and droping off lol…….better the devil and all that, but is it really……when everyday life has become sooooo boring and uneventful, when partners no longer converse other than when they have to…….all they have in common are the children…….Hmmm worth giving a second thought ……

  4. starlette Post author

    Hello Rose…….sure the guys will be pleased to know they are dying lol….actually we are all dying from the moment we are born, we are all on the same path….I dont know if losing hormones change their way of thinking……I know women as they age develop more Testosterone the male hormone, and we lose Oestrogen the female hormone…….does that make us tougher, less emotional, maybe…….it certainly increases the growth of hair on parts of the body where we really would rather it didn’t…damn……..we say we think and feel the same in our mind as we did when we were young…….but do we…..in one respect yes, but in others no…….I myself do not care what people think of me, I have more confidence, I dont suffer fools gladly, I am confident enough to give my opinion when asked for it, sometimes its not what was expected……..is this the male hormone taking over……..Gawd !! I hope I dont take to swigging pints…….as for upping and leaving a spouse and family, nope I know I could never have done that……my family and their happiness would have come before my own…..

  5. waylander

    I’ve seen many of the “mid life crisis” brigade running around in their sports cars (often accidents waiting to happen because they are scared to death of the power under their right foot), with the bimbo in the passenger seat and sometimes even (god preserve us) a lovely little pony tail (him, not the bimbo).

    I have never understood what drives them to make such blatant fools of themselves and I never will. However insanity or some other form of degenerative brain disease cannot, in my opinion, be ruled out

    1. roseinbloom

      Waylander, I find your opinion informative and interesting. I have seen men as you have, but I was not privy to what their thinking was at the time. I do know one who chucked it all and he felt that he could die any day and he had a right to think of himself for a change as he had been living for others. He wound up living a long life and died almost bankrupt after throwing resources and caution to the winds.
      My brother-in-law purchased a red Cadillac convertible after he was downsized on his job. I guess he was propping up a deflated ego. Maybe, many of these men think they deserve more for themselves before they die.

  6. starlette Post author

    Hi Way.………when there is a young Bimbo on the guys arm there is usually money in his pocket…….and I find it hard to believe he can fool himself into thinking the Bimbo would be remotely interested in him if he had no Wonga, maybe its the long straggly ponytail that does it for her……..

  7. vonMichael

    Good Morning dear Star,
    specially for me, a **Menopause ** for my brain wouldn’t be bad! As I’ve noticed in the past, life is like a circle and I’m
    getting more and more lazy to get out of the daily routine.
    No I don’t think a new women by my side, a new home, a new car or anything else could mean a challenge for me. No.
    Why should I give up my wife I don’t see a reason for doing so. A new car, no my friend on 4 wheels takes me to my
    destinations without complaining. A new home? No. I love the warm atmosphere and the convenience that it serves me
    with.
    I love such kind of people that are pleased to share a drink ( or 2 ) with me and give me the most valuable what they can
    give; their time. And I do love also the fact that those people laugh with me and not about me.

    One more word to the circle. Women live more in a circle of daily routine than a man. It is much, much harder for them
    to get out or to get a break through in form of a ** Menopause ** to find their way back to themself. xxx

  8. starlette Post author

    Hello Michael……its good that you are so happy and contented with your life………you realise that the grass isn’t greener on the other side………but in some cases anything is better than the rut they find themselves stuck in so cut and run………..you appreciate thats a womens world doesent really change much to a degree…….we may eventually return to work but still keep the wheels spinning at home………but Alfie was not fulfilled in his life anymore, he no longer loved his wife and found her boring and drab…….if she had made more of a effort would he have stayed ?….who knows…….he remains in contact with his daughter, not sure about his sons……..his wife’s life hasn’t changed, she didn’t move on…he did and is now content…….who can say he was at fault……we only have one life and have to get the most out of it……xxx

    1. roseinbloom

      I am surprized that Michael and maybe Star seem to think a woman needs a routine more than a man. If so, maybe that is why they become uninteresting and lose their sparkle, or become a grouch. I have never been stuck in a routine. I am constantly recreating myself and my life. It is sad if many women are “living lives of quiet desperation”. It is also if men are living lives of “quiet desperation” and it is understandable if they just Chuck the old life and start a new one.

  9. starlette Post author

    Hi Rose…….I didn’t say women should have a routine, I stated that they probably do have to keep home and family life running smoothly…..would be a complete shambles if they upped and did their own thing…..in later years of course when alone they would be carving out a new life for themselves……. but I would bet diamonds if a women still has a spouse she pretty much sticks to a daily routine………in my opinion I dont think many men would stray if there was still laughter in the marriage,…….if you can still make each other laugh you wont go far wrong………and I believe I am correct in thinking that the odd hair out of place and a few extra pounds on the body most men wouldn’t even notice………..I remember speaking to a member on here, he had a friend who left his immaculate, well turned out, slim wife for a overweight casual style but fun women……..just goes to show its not all about looks……..

    1. roseinbloom

      Starlette. I agree women usually never get to retire and if they have to do breakfast, lunch and dinner, there is no time for anything else. If a man is home he can fend for himself and take on some home chairs. Sitting in the easy chair is killing a lot of men. I believe in loyalty and if your leaving a committed relationship for frivolous reasons is not something that I think is done by mature people with character; especially when children and families are involved.

  10. starlette Post author

    Haaaa Michael……… very appropriate………” Her Lips Are Warm While Yours Are Cold “………pretty much sums up my reply to Rose……..men like warm welcoming women, in more sense than one…….now then, lets not have it all one sided…..what do women want……for me…… someone who makes me laugh………xxx

    1. roseinbloom

      What do women want. Most women would like a decent human being first. Women want a lot of what men want but men put sex much higher on the priority list and women put love higher on their priority list which is the major difference between men and women. We might not be supposed to mention this but this needs to be said.As men age, their sexuality is a big concern and loss. Men don’t talk to me about it, but I have inferred and concluded this. I don’t know how much men envy women who do not suffer this loss but may get more amorous as testosterone becomes more dominant. If you want to know why grouchy old men are grouchy, that is a big reason since we are talking about menopause here. It may also be the reason grouchy old women are grouchy. LOL.

  11. chopper

    Seems to me that, especially in the field of acquisitions, we are touching on The Bucket List. There again maybe The Bucket List
    is all part of the MM too.

  12. starlette Post author

    Hi Chopper……so the bucket list compromises of a list of things we would like to see and do before we arrive at the Pearly Gates……hopefully we can achieve some of them without hurting others…….and may I say a huge thankyou to the men that have replied……..its nice to hear your opinions………

  13. Rockflower

    You have been part of a family and playing your part, then the children leave home and this is a watershed and it can be a shock showing cracks in the bedrock of a relationship. No need to play a part any more, you are just two people and you are not the same people you were at the beginning. A person could start to examine the relationship and wonder is this what I want? It comes usually at a time of life when the pattern seems set and then seems boring.You think of things that you might have done but didn’t, ah there is a question, was it responsibilities. held you back? Resentments can build and then a pressing need to do all these things….to prove you can, to be excited, to risk to be reassured you are still alive, not past it. Time to talk and work it out and well you must do what you have to do. But remember splitting is not all gain for anyone. I also think that ”The grass is always greener on the other side”. It is very human to have pangs about what we do not have. Married stay at home mothers….yearn for the career, career women wonder about the family they did not have.The married guy might fantasize about the wild free life style, ditching the family wagon for the hood down sports model. Most of us get over the now and again pangs, we realize we have lived a life since we first wanted those things 30years ago and even if we don’t know it we are probably different people those 30 years on. Do try on some new life styles if possible without wrecking your past and have the best of both worlds. Be grown up and work it out if possible. If it is all hopeless plan to make things as pain free as you can and start again.

  14. starlette Post author

    Good advice Rock……the grass sometimes looks greener cos its been fertilised with bull…t…….just do what your heart tells you…a life is to short and precious not to be happy and fulfilled in it……

    1. roseinbloom

      Starlette. I like your line about BS. I need the new relationships, there is a lot of fakery and reality will set in sooner or later. I knew a man who married a very young woman. His wife had left him for the pool man. About 10 years and two children later, she divorces him and he is paying support payments from his pension. That is one story. Marla Maples left Trump and Melania may also. He is a rotten mate as best I know.

  15. starlette Post author

    What I want to know is……did the wife stay with the pool man…….if she did then she made the right choice for her……..the hubby, well he has been dumped twice……maybe he needs to get his act together…….as for Trump……well money is power, looks and character dont always come into the equation when there is huge amounts of money to tice the young bimbos……..all I know is it cost us damn millions in security to have him visit these shores…….money that is desperately needed elsewhere…..

  16. jojo

    I definitely believe men go through a menopause of their own, best described on this page by Waylander. It’s a realization that they’re losing their virility and hair. It’s a feeling of “Is this all there is in my life?” and a sense of not having fulfilled their hopes and dreams, feeling that they have to make the best of what’s left in their lives – hence the sports car, ponytail and bimbo. The sports car is purchased as a “babe magnet” (he hopes) and the ponytail is trying to prove that he’s still young and “with it.” The sad thing is that the male menopause makes them do impetuous and foolish things, often destroying not only their own lives, but those of their wife and families.

  17. starlette Post author

    Hi Jo Jo………..might be better if they just had the hot flushes and night sweats………ooops!!……of course they do…….with the young bimbos…….