Star and Tart
Caravan on plot, gotta get the water system up and running, sends Tart with a extra large water container to fill, tap quite close, so no big deal. Star wandering around outside, spots the next victim, puny looking guy at the van next door, excuse me can you help, says Star smiling sweetly, I seem to be having a problem with getting the gas supply through ( the gas bottle is still secured in the storage compartment ) puny guy offers to help……big mistake. Two hours later Star checks on progress, she has spent a very pleasant two hours on the river bank topping up her tan, water supply connected, gas supply connected, electric on, puny guy now attempting to put up the awning, tells Tart to go and help him, chastises her for watching him struggle
Star outside sunning again ,fit looking guy approaching, speaks to her in a broad Yorkshire accent, hows thee doin lass, that was it, legs turn to jelly, breathing heavy ,Tart offers inhalers, puny guy his arm, Star accepts puny guys arm, as she leans on him he thinks all his birthdays have come at once, breath back, Star mumbles incoherent reply to Yorkshire guy, he smiles and says….see thee later over tat pub theen lass. RESULT !!
Sat in The Anchor pub, just across the road from the site, not to far to stagger back, will be ok if we can avoid the river, on second thoughts, after more liquid refreshment had been partaken of, skinny dipping in the river Trent seemed like a good idea, puny guy had reservations, but when he had been allowed to buy a few more rounds he was well up for it.12-30am leave the pub, over the road to the river, Tart had already shed half of her clothes behind the pub with puny guy, she was the first in the river, within seconds she had disappeared under the water, puny guy rushed to rescue her, don’t know why he bothered, she would have come up in her own time. Tart emerges from the depths of the murky water laughing like a demented hyena ( doesn’t take much does it ) Guiness always had this affect on her, and she had been doing vodka shots, bless her, but credit where credits due, she could hold her own with the best of them.
Skinny dipping idea was abandoned, water too dirty for Stars delicate skin. Trundle back to the caravan, no torch, cannot locate keyhole, wouldn’t have been any good if we could, Tart had lost the key at the back of the pub during her fumble with puny guy. Window wide open, puny guy scrambles through,door opened, sleeping bag thrown to Tart, told she would be better off sleeping in the awning, more air to help her breathing, ever the considerate friend was Star. Yorkshire guy and Star bid goodnight to Tart and puny guy, they looked happy enough, awww bless. Star would certainly be getting her fix tonight………….Flowersun and Pollypie visiting bank holiday Monday, a couple of off old has beens, but there game for a laugh, bikers coming too, WAYHEY….what more can a gal ask……….. to be continued
Knowing the ” Tart ” in this, the images that have come to mind whilst reading their adventures, really have me gripped. I await the next instalment with bated breath. xx
Tart with a heart. lol. xxx
chrisisie I thought you was my friend ,she makes poor old me strugle for water which she dont need while she making it wi puny guy, I just wish other 2 had come earlier.. then she has cheek to put me in horning with rats coming from river …..he hexx
Lol star keep up the good work, your holiday/adventure sounds great xx
roseanne, you was not with her star,how would you like to struggle 1/2 mile to river for some water that she dont need cause she star ( Bitch) got tap out side van and running water inside she always trying to get rid me cause she (Bitch) got a bloke there he might only be puny but he can go some wi her (Bitch) and she calls me rose (Tart) do you think she friend…and then she makes me sleep in horning wi rats coming up from river.
she a proper bitch not a friend,me dont think (rose) tart
Come visit Roseanne, you would be very welcome. xx
Love to star are there any spare men? lol
Gonna be plenty of bikers Bank holiday Monday if your not to fussed, bit greasy, but beggers cant be choosers and all that. xx
she got you bloke, I will send you picture roseanne, but dont trust her cause I tell uou she real bitch, she only let you have him when she done wi him he he
rose xx
Come visit Roseanne, you would be most welcome. xx
Hey star,you repeated your self!!!…for gawwwwwdssssss sake,put that fit guy down!!!,what you on girl??????….i want some!!!!!,lol,xxx
He’s my fix flower, that’s why i’m high………..i’ll see what I can do for you. lol xxxx
I like my men tall!!! a built like a brick ….,house,hahahaha,ooooo flower,manners please!!!,and rippling muscles!! haha,lol.xxxx
Girl after my own heart, did you miss a word out before house ……..just asking .lol xx
Yep!!!!!,hahaha,xxx
Sometimes i wish i was more refined!!!,but i aint,haha,xxxx
I also like water beds,!!!! haha
your demands are rather high flowersun……….only a bloody tourer. lol xx
Hey star i have just renewed my membership,…..hope Rob dont chuck me off site,hahahaha,lol.
Yu just better behave yourself then flower. lol xx
As for you “TART”!!!….what can i say!!!….Tart!!!!.xx
Hussy isn’t she flower………bit embarrassing really, if the truth be told. lol xx
dont say owt flowersun or I’ll make sure you get brick( sorry you said a bloke like house brick lol xx luv you really
she (bitch = star) going to get a brick tomoz round her neck, when we met up and had our dinner she paying so I crafty.. waiting while she paid and plus she sink a bit faster in river when she had her dinner…mind you size of her, she not got to eat much for her to sink fast …lol he he
Meow, just cos I can pull the six packs, no need to get personal, the guys like my juicy bits, lol lol xx
ooooooo,tart i’m shaking in me boots!!!!!,…haha,lol,xx
Why did star end up with the hunky yorkshire guy? Didnt understand a word he said, but who cares what he said, with a body like that 🙂 😉
‘Has been’??????????
haahahahahahahhaha,can’t wait for mine,lol.xx
Because Stars the looker….silly. lol xx
so you seen bitches ( stars) bloke he real hulk too good for her think he could do better wi either you or me……dont let her know I after her hulk …lol he he
Not a prayer. xx
You know i have never understood why i scare men off???????,lol.
that was ace starr loved it!!! and bin a yorkshire lass loved the accent hahaha!!! 😀 😀
Thankyou Pollie, always felt a great affinity with Yorkshire, my dad was a Barnsly chap, salt of the earth, and I really do love the Yorkshire accent. xx
Make sure mine is a smooth biker,…..cause i aint no greaser chick,lol.
You will get what your given….and be thankful of it…….aint no such thing as a smooth biker….sheesh, do you not know nothing. lol xx
you always make sure you get best blokes,well not after tomoz when I put brick round your neck and push you in lock – hehe then i can be rieght tart xx
I AM enjoying this – keep it up girls………….((((((((hugs))))))))))
Think on Tart…you get rid of me……what you got left….diddlysquat…….nobody else wants you around, your boring. x
Watch it – when you come on wednesday you might enjoy that sausage and mash bit too much there might be more than spices in em
I just had my fix lovely young man come to see me built like a House not brick lol tall fair handsome just your kind but I used him first then I passing him onto flowersun… I only wanted him to undoe parcel sun so I know where he been not like bitches blokes ha ha.
I realise this is all in jest, but please refrain from using derogatory language liable to offend others viewing this post. Comments are now closed on this post.