Smoking the peace pipe
I had a lunch with my Ex husband to smoke the peace pipe. All went reasonably well. We both managed to eat most of the meal. I kept trying to gauge what was accomplished. I have to say he never really inhaled. Any puffs of smoke were very insignificant, and he mostly coughed and sputtered.. At least, I have declared that I am not his enemy and I would like to be friends. He did not make that declaration. he insisted on giving me articles that say you “need to forgive but not forget”. Now it is a lot easier to forgive if you just forget a whole lot of it and focus more on what was positive and good and what can be good in the future. The articles are not working for him too well, evidently.I hope for his sake he learns to really inhale deeply when he purports to smoke the peace pipe.
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“Forgive but don’t Forget ” … How could that ever be possible ? How can we truly forgive someone if we are unable to forget? If we still hold grudges ,we haven’t really forgiven ,therefore it would be almost impossible to move on and start afresh !
It seems to me that your ex needs more time to sort himself out …are you prepared to wait what it could take a long time ?
Best wishes to you …I hope things work out for the two of you !
I will wait, but I will not hold my breath. I will go on with life and explore all possibilities.
only one small insignificant comment here, i found out about hubbys exploits a few days before he died in a tragic accident in italy and didnt get a chance to forgive him, so do forgive and forget if you can they are a long time gone from this world., that applies to both hubbys and wives.xxxx Love you all.
Rose you could do more than you did, you have said you would like to be friends………the rest is up to him…..he doesn’t seem very forthcoming………….you just might have to let it be
Agree entirely and totally. you discerned that correctly in my opinion. Thanks for the comment.
Rose I don’t know what caused your divorce but think you are the bigger person to want to be friend’s with you ex husband and hope it will come to pass. 🙂
I consider myself more fortunate in being able to trust and take risks. I think the cause of the divorce was that he failed to trust and commit.
It is hard to forgive the unforgivable. However, I read a story about being able to forgive if the incident allowed you to grow as a person, to wake up and make changes that made your life better. So I forgave the cheating, but I did not stay with him. I did not forget because I don’t want to go back into the situation. It helped me get rid of anger I was carrying around with me.
Rose you did great. You made the effort. How he reacts is his choice. He can stay stuck where he is or he can do as you did and become a better person by rising above the situation. Good for you. Bring the good memories forward, leave the bad ones in the past. There is no room for them in our life. There is a reason he is not in your future. If like me you had children with him, hopefully they are grown and you can be civil when needing to communicate. But let your children have their own relationship with him. It appears you are the stronger person, hope you gauged that accomplishment. Now let him figure out what course he will take. You opened the door.
Agree entirely. He is stuck and not too deep down, he really knows i.t .I read, it is a trumph of the human spirit to make enimies into friends”. I did my part.
it takes a heap of courage and a very large heart to be the one to move forward and accept the given situation, you did your best,rose, now the rest is up to him.what a wonderful spirit you have .xxx
Sorry, but as I have said before, I can’t forget nor can I forgive my Ex for what he put me through. Power to you Roseinbloom for making the effort xox
rosy he was a fool just like me, your special dont ever let that go, john harden xx