Reason Oldbull doesn’t work at Walmart

Oldbull didn’t really do this, I just thought he might if did. Sorry Oldbull 🙂

Two hours into my first day of work as a WalMart greeter, an ugly woman came in with her two kids.

Hearing her swear at them, I said, “Good morning, welcome to WalMart. Nice kids, are they twins?”

The mom answered, “Hell no, they ain’t twins. The oldest one’s 9, and the other one’s 7. Why would you think they’re twins? Are you blind or stupid?”

I replied, “I’m not blind or stupid. I just couldn’t believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day, and thank you for shopping at WalMart.”

My supervisor said I probably wasn’t cut out for this line of work.

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  1. Linda: I did not realize word had gotten round about this incident. Truth is I didn’t care because they were getting ready to let me go for always being tardy. The super called me in one day for a performance review. She did not look happy. She said, “OB I just don’t understand. You have been an exemplary employee almost across the board. Many customers have applauded you for your greetings and your courteous, happy manner. But gosh OB you have been tardy almost every day. Tell me were your tardy like this in your previous employment?”
    I had to acknowledge that I was not in the habit of arriving on time. She asked what I had done before. I told her I was in the U.S. Coast Guard. She observed that the military always seemed to keep to schedules on a very precise basis. I had to admit she was right. Did my career suffer because I was tardy?. I told her the truth, that it had not. She then wanted to know what my colleagues said about me arriving late. I told her they said, Good morning Commander. Coffee sir?”

    1. Hilarious! I’m new, OB . . . but I recognize comedic talent when I read it. Just had to let you know that the recounting of your Wal-Mart performance review is priceless. By the way, “Coffee, Commander?”