Pick Axes and Smart Phones
I cannot turn on an audible ring tone, bleep, burble, hack, spit, choke, cough, drum roll, theme from South Pacific or Rocky on my smart phone. Nothing. This morning I stumbled into “recent” calls and found my brother called two days ago. But my smart (ass) phone did not ring. A vendor recently left behind a pick ax at my house and has not yet come by to retrieve it. I am thinking that maybe I could use it to turn on my phone so it rings or does something when I have a call coming in.
Nothing is straightforward on my phone, I know there is a way to turn on a call signal because I see people answering smart phone calls all the time. Why can’t my phone respond to open voice commands? I daydream about a conversation something like this:
Me: “Hey phone!”
Phone: “Yes, whaddaya want bozo?”
Me: “Could you possibly let me know when I get a x&*%# phone call? I mean is that too much to ask?”
Phone: “What’s with the attitude, pal?”
Me: “Look you are a phone; not a psychologist, ok? When I have a call coming in I want some audible notification so I know there is a call.”
Phone: “How about a Bronx Cheer, you miserable old grouch? Oh yeah, a loud one so you can hear it you old fart.”
Me: “Hey, there is no need to get personal about this, you know?”
Phone: “Well you hurt my feelings; you yelled at me with that, ‘Hey phone.’ Maybe if we could be polite and a little bit sensitive to the each other I’d be a more receptive to your request.”
Me: (Aside) “I can’t believe I have a &%*$# smart phone with hurt feelings….sheesh!
Phone: “I heard that.”
Me: “(Oh, shit!) Okay, look I’m sorry that I hurt your feelings Mister Smart Phone. Please, please help me out, okay?”
Phone: “HAH. Help you out, huh? That’s Miss Smart Phone, you brute. If you can’t even tell the difference I am not even going to talk to you! So there!” (Click)
Me: “Hello, hello?”
Been there, done that, used the axe. lol
Complete pain in the ass these latest phones.
Oh for the old days when they weighed an entire kilo, had to be carried in a shoulder harness and all they did was ring when a call came in.
Know the feeling, but we need to persevere or we will slip so far behind we will wake up one morning and think we are on a different planet were we can not work anything. Its not just ones it is everything, tv remote, Bluetooth, cloud, flicker, Utube etc etc x
Well, the phones are SO SMART that they have human emotions too. And the female one are apparently smarter and also more emotional (and get their feelings hurt easier). 😛
This story is very funny, I enjoyed it!
Oldbull. I just posted that there should be a “weening” period. Not take the one and use the other one. i got a call and can answer a call. i call a store and hear punch 1 and so on and so on. Nerves fracture and how to I practice. I call the same machine calls that call me and practice. Finally there is a purpose for nuisance call. Under setting there is an option to turn on sound, after you select a sound to turn on. We can ask for help or pretend we can use the darn thing and look cool.
old bull, funny you should say that, ha ha my fight is not with the phone but the server, i asked when i brought my smart phone could I connect to my user that I have for the internet yes yes she replied, anything to sell another phone,when i get home with my new smart phone pfffttt smart they call it,cant get f,b cant get, twitters cant get internet , unless I sign up to their company ,when I already have internet on a rival server, asked her that, sooooo now unless I pay for two connections , cant have it on my new smart phone so will go without it on the phone , what a useless lot. phone works ok got $300 phone and just use it for text and calls , what a waste.arghhhhh.
loved this, OB.. too funny and unfortunately too true.. maybe the phones got their attitude from the gps girl… lol honestly I think they get more difficult w/ each “upgrades”. the older cell and smartphones were better and more user friendly if you ask me.. but no one usually does about these techno matters.. 🙂
SO glad I’m not the only one who has problems with some of the new technology!!! I have one of the older style phones and am dreading the day when it finally packs in!!! Will have to find a young kid to help me use the new one!!!! Won’t do that in the shop – am sick of being treated like the village idiot!!!! Us oldies have feelings too!!! lol… good post, enjoyed it…..xxx
hahahaha bull i loved it m8 keep them coming
great reading, fun story! and so true…..im so fed up with being told to “hang on” when trying to speak with someone…or else, dial 1 for..or dial 2 for ….and so on….so confusing!! by the time the tape is finished, i cannot remember who or why i called..new technology, id rather have old-fashioned, speaks my language…
Good one O B so true I am so glad I don’t have one be just too much for me..xxxx