ode to a back seat driver

have a little sat nav, its sits there in my car.
a sat nav is a drivers friend, it tells you where you are.

I have a little sat nav, I’ve had it all my life.
its better than the normal ones, my sat nav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions,, especially how to drive.
“its thirty miles an hours” its say’s “and your doing thirty five.

It tells me when to stop and start and when to use the brake.
and tells me that it’s never ever!! safe to overtake.

it tells me when the lights are red and when they turn to green.
it seems yo know instinctively. just when to intervene.

It list the vehicles just in front and all those at the rear.
taking this into account, specifies which gear.

I’m sure no other driver, has such a helpful device.
for when I leave and lock the car, it still gives me advice.

It fills me up with councieling, each journey’s specially fraught.
So why don’t I exchange it and get a quieter sort.

Ah well you see it cleans the house, make’s sure I’m properly fed.
It washes all my shirts and things and keeps me warm in bed.

despite all these advantages and my tendancy to scoff
I only wish that now and then, I COULD TURN THE BUGGER OFF