my birthday memoriam to my best friend Eddy….May 31st 1954 – May 11th 2013

Today would have been his birthday……..

Eddy Brook, my best friend, my soul mate and my rock, died on 11th May 2013. he didn’t warn me what it would be like without him in my life. We never spoke about death cos’ we were too busy living, and we expected to go on living forever. I don’t remember how I came to love him so much, and although he meant the world to me, I wasn’t prepared for the excruciating pain or the tiredness, the drowning feeling, gasping for air, or the paralysis and the panic that still grips me without prior warning when I realise time after time I wont ever see Eddy again. The world is now a bigger place, the days and nights are longer, so cold less safe and more daunting. and it all adds up to feeling vulnerable. Eddy made my world a wonderful place and he didn’t have to say a word. It’s difficult to explain but if you have ever experienced this you will know what I mean. No questions or answers, just a mutual understanding and a warm glow of contentment. Eddy was born with a good and honest heart, and these were the qualities that provided the foundations on which he developed his unique character. He had nothing to hide. His eyes were the windows to his soul.

When I look back at the day we met I was lost in limbo, without ambition or objective but Eddy believed in me. he encouraged me and I confided in him. I was going through a very dark time in my life. He absorbed my stress and I poured it all out. I grew in confidence and he never faltered. Regardless of where he was or what he was doing, he always had time to listen to me, never eager to judge and he never complained or mentioned the time. he chose his friends carefully and if you got past the gates the deal was forever. he would have moved heaven and earth for me and he always gave me the benefit of the doubt.he was solid, loyal, tolerant and forgiving and always there with open arms whenever I needed him. It comforts me to know that he will be waiting on the other side. To me Eddy was ageless and evergreen, warm and caring and had the habit of looking at people from the inside out. He never married and spent most of his later years looking after his lovely mum whom he adored. Sadly she died a few years ago on Christmas eve. It been Christmas made each Christmas after that a sad time for Eddy. I then returned the compliment and was there for Eddy has he had been for me.

At the end of an obituary the story often describes the persons winter years, Eddy was still breathing summer air and loving life and he was especially happy just days before he died as we had finally managed to meet up person to person for the first time in all the years I had known him. We had a wonderful five days together myself, Eddy and my hubby, walking in the sun in Bournemouth, and finally getting him to go to an Indian restaurant!! It was the best five days ever and I know he loved it so much and was content and happy, it was all too perfect , all that he didn’t have was time and he didn’t even know it. I would give anything for a few minutes more just to tell him goodbye and hug him again. His sister and his friends miss him so very much.

So take a bow Eddy Brook. you did it with style. You were magnificent and the best friend I have ever had. Regardless of the years that pass you will always be my inspiration, my soul mate, and my beautiful friend.. I see your face every time I close my eyes, always young, bright, and smiling, and every time it breaks my heart. One day the memories might ease my the pain, but they will never remove the scars, but then the scars are part of what we had together. It was you and me Eddy against the world and the world didn’t stand a chance. we had a ball, I just cant believe it’s all over.

Goodbye my best friend, it was you that made my life complete.

Love always Pollie xxx

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Responses

  1. Absolutely beautiful Pollie. What a wonderful memoriam to your best friend. Beautifully written!
    It was so lovely for you to share this with all of us. God Bless you. xo

  2. Very touching , it’s hard to say goodbye to our loved ones … You have beautiful memories to treasure …may your tears help wash your pain away and heal your heart .
    Much love to you xxx

  3. Beautifully written Pollie – a fitting tribute to a wonderful friend… you were so lucky to have known each other…and,as you say, he;ll be waiting for you… walk onward with pride – for you knew and cared for, a wonderful person….((((((((hugs)))))))) Lina xxx

  4. Pollie U R not alone hon U have lots of good friends in here and what u said about eddy exactly describes u while i was under attack hugzzzzz u have a good friend here I do miss oor EDdy RIP brother

  5. Pollie,this is a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man….I am so glad you finally got to meet each other….It almost seems like thats what he was waiting for before he could let go….Thinking of you…..

  6. I have read this three times Poll and it’s so beautiful just like Jane said. A friendship like that doesn’t come along very often, and i’m happy you found a soul mate in Eddy that will stay with you forever. xxx

  7. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. Pollie, the pain you are feeling now will ease with time, and when you least expect it, you will one day think of dear Eddy, smile, and realize that the ache you now feel in your heart has eased. It will never go completely, and that’s how it should be, and all the time you think of him you are keeping him and the memory of the time you had together alive. Bless you Pollie xxx

  8. Pollie you have not lost Eddy as he so clearly lives on in your heart and mind, as well as in those treasured memories, some of which, you have shared with us on here who never knew him. That is how he will continue on. When you are troubled you will know just what Eddy would have told you, listen inside yourself and stay warm in the afterglow of the special friendship you shared.

  9. Pollie , What a beautiful tribute to Eddy . I know you will never forget him and you are lucky to have found him and that he was there for you and you were there for him when he lost his Mother. I know that friendships like you and Eddy had are very rare but so glad you were able to finally go down and spend 5 days with him . I know that everyone who knew Eddy miss him .Thinking of you today . Hugs Marie xx

  10. Dear Pollie let your heartache be softened by this wonderful and rare friendship you have shared and the 5 days that made both you and Eddy happy. You got to see each other face to face and to hug each other. These 5 days would have been as precious to Eddy as they were to you and you made his last days so precious. In this memoriam we can see the love and friendship you both shared and you will have this for the rest of your life. Eddy will be looking down on you with pride in his heart that he found a friend like you. Take care dear Pollie xoxox

  11. oh pollie sweetheart these words are straight from that wonderful heart you have. this as brought tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat. what a lovely friendship you both had with each other and something to treasure forever. not many people are lucky to ever have this in a friend. you were very lucky to have him for a friend and more to the point he was very lucky to have you for his. you are a wonderful friend pollie and dont let anyone ever tell you different. i value your friendship very much.

    1. thank you for those kind words jcb we had a brilliant friendship he was a perfect gentleman and i was very lucky to have him for a friend xx 🙂