Today would have been his birthday........
Eddy Brook, my best friend, my soul mate and my rock, died on 11th May 2013. he didn't warn me what it would be like without him in my life. We never spoke about death cos' we were too busy living, and we expected to go on living forever. I don't remember how I came to love him so much, and although he meant the world to me, I wasn't prepared for the excruciating pain or the tiredness, the drowning feeling, gasping for air, or the paralysis and the panic that still grips me without prior warning when I realise time after time I wont ever see Eddy again. The world is now a bigger place, the days and nights are longer, so cold less safe and more daunting. and it all adds up to feeling vulnerable. Eddy made my world a wonderful place and he didn't have to say a word. It's difficult to explain but if you have ever experienced this you will know what I mean. No questions or answers, just a mutual understanding and a warm glow of contentment. Eddy was born with a good and honest heart, and these were the qualities that provided the foundations on which he developed his unique character. He had nothing to hide. His eyes were the windows to his soul.
When I look back at the day we met I was lost in limbo, without ambition or objective but Eddy believed in me. he encouraged me and I confided in him. I was going through a very dark time in my life. He absorbed my stress and I poured it all out. I grew in confidence and he never faltered. Regardless of where he was or what he was doing, he always had time to listen to me, never eager to judge and he never complained or mentioned the time. he chose his friends carefully and if you got past the gates the deal was forever. he would have moved heaven and earth for me and he always gave me the benefit of the doubt.he was solid, loyal, tolerant and forgiving and always there with open arms whenever I needed him. It comforts me to know that he will be waiting on the other side. To me Eddy was ageless and evergreen, warm and caring and had the habit of looking at people from the inside out. He never married and spent most of his later years looking after his lovely mum whom he adored. Sadly she died a few years ago on Christmas eve. It been Christmas made each Christmas after that a sad time for Eddy. I then returned the compliment and was there for Eddy has he had been for me.
At the end of an obituary the story often describes the persons winter years, Eddy was still breathing summer air and loving life and he was especially happy just days before he died as we had finally managed to meet up person to person for the first time in all the years I had known him. We had a wonderful five days together myself, Eddy and my hubby, walking in the sun in Bournemouth, and finally getting him to go to an Indian restaurant!! It was the best five days ever and I know he loved it so much and was content and happy, it was all too perfect , all that he didn't have was time and he didn't even know it. I would give anything for a few minutes more just to tell him goodbye and hug him again. His sister and his friends miss him so very much.
So take a bow Eddy Brook. you did it with style. You were magnificent and the best friend I have ever had. Regardless of the years that pass you will always be my inspiration, my soul mate, and my beautiful friend.. I see your face every time I close my eyes, always young, bright, and smiling, and every time it breaks my heart. One day the memories might ease my the pain, but they will never remove the scars, but then the scars are part of what we had together. It was you and me Eddy against the world and the world didn't stand a chance. we had a ball, I just cant believe it's all over.
Goodbye my best friend, it was you that made my life complete.
Love always Pollie xxxRecommend0 recommendations