I am so sorry that I have not been on in sometime.. I have been facing the reality of my illness and trying everything I can so I am not left penniless. I am praying that Social security and my retirement system will approve my disability and give me money until I reach the age of 66. It has been scary and I am thankful that my husband states that he will support me even if I bring in no money. The problem that I have is, it is his rules or the highway. I have gotten my pastor involved so maybe my hubby can understand what I am asking for. Due to his injury he can no longer be intimate with me. I explained to him that it was okay but I still needed to be hugged and touched without it leading to SEX. He told me that he is NOT a cuddler. So now I am between a rock and a hard place. I love that man and LIKE him but I am not sure that I can go for the rest of my life without being touched. He doesn't even like to hold my hand. What would you do? I will NOT go against my vows so it is stay, his way....... or leave and lose my best friend. I have two dogs so I could get my cuddles that way but watching every TV show or movie, people touch...... and I find myself getting so jealous and so SAD. Why can't he see what he is doing to me? Every night I cry. I am now sleeping in my guest room so he can sleep better. I know I snore and I have a CPAP machine but it is not enough for him, the sounds are distracting to him and he can not get a good nights sleep. I am serious I like this man and Have been married to him for 25 years but it has been 10 years since the touching has stopped and it is becoming to hard for me to continue this way.