LUNCH, ANYONE?

LUNCH ANYONE?

C 2013 JoJo

As some of you know, I have been spending the past two months in Canterbury, Kent, UK.

I had a very amusing experience today. I went to a seniors’ center in town for lunch. I barrelled into the dining room on my motorized scooter (I’ve rented one here) wearing a red woolen hat with CANADA in big white letters on it along with the maple leaf emblem of our flag. The room was full – around 60 people I reckon of which FOUR were men!!! It’s always this way in senior centers – we ladies outlive you guys.

To say the assembled people were stunned by my grand entrance, is a big understatement! Their jaws all hurtled downward onto their bony chests and a collective gasp went up! I felt like saying “What’s the matter with you lot? Haven’t you ever seen a Canadian before?”

Anyhow, I was led to a table surrounded by women, sat down, smiled cheerily and said “Hi, my name is Joanna and I’m from Canada.” No one said a word! So I decided to give it another crack. “I notice there are daffodils in that pot on the table – they won’t bloom in Canada until May!” Silence! Nobody said a word! I smiled at Joan, the woman on my left and said “Hi” – she stared at me as if I had two heads with a third one sprouting in the middle, didn’t respond and turned away. At this point, I bloody gave up and ate my lunch!

Mabel sat on my right and was obviously phobic about cleanliness. I watched her in rapt fascination. First, she carefully took out a piece of paper towelling, which she laid reverently on the table as though it was a religious relic, and put her plate of food upon it. Then she took a spray bottle of some sort from her handbag, soaked her utensils in it and vigorously cleaned them with another paper towel. Following this, she pulled out a jar of chutney and another of lemon curd from her bag and placed them carefully in front of her (the significance of this escapes me since she didn’t open either at any point during her meal).

Mabel ate her lunch carefully, and having cleaned her plate, took out her dentures and placed them delicately on her paper towel on the table. Taking another towel from her handbag, she vigorously cleaned them, then buffed them by huffing onto them (like one would polish a pair of eye glasses) then buffed them. Having done this, she popped them back into her mouth, clicking them into position!!

At this point, an old geyser set up a karaoke machine and started up a sing-along. We all lustily sang SHE’LL BE COMING ROUND THE MOUNTAIN WHEN SHE COMES” and I CAN’T HELP, FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU, along with many other very very VERY “oldies but goodies.”

Now something really weird happened once the singing got underway. Joan to my left, faced me and sang every song directly at me!! I think (but I can’t be sure) she was trying to impress me by the fact that she knew all the words to all of the songs the old geyser put on! It was actually quite impressive, but I honestly didn’t know what I was supposed to do! Was I supposed to gaze lovingly into her eyes and sing them back at her? I opted to gaze straight ahead and ignore the situation.

All in all, it was an entertaining experience! I think I might go back just for the hell of it. The closest I got to having any form of recognition was when an elderly man sat in a spare seat where he was in my line of vision, caught my eye and winked at me! Be still my heart!!!

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Responses

  1. haha!! Jojo…the difference in the English and Canadians never more obvious…one friendly and open the other a little more reserved and taking a while to warm up. Its a little like moving to a new town….you arent a local until youve been there for 20 yrs. They were probably wondering who the nutcase from Canada was and the guy at the end had made it his mission to find out….lol

    1. There certainly is a difference in Canadian and English cultures Faye. For the record, I didn’t make one word up of this experience – it happened exactly as stated!

      I’m going back for a second visit next week just to find out if the shock of me barreling in on a scooter has worn off! Besides,that bloke did wink at me!!

    1. Reminded me of having breakfast in our hotel in Northern Ireland where hubby is from when bloke at next table said loudly to his companion in a very english voice “My God, the place is full of foreigners”.

  2. Next time wear an English Flag on your hat. lol Did they serve mushy peas? I’ve traveled to England several times. Funny how different cultures react. People looked at me funny when I asked for Iced Tea. The women may have also been fearful that a “another” woman had shown up to compete for the few men left. lol

    1. No mushy peas yesterday Linda – just ordinary ones. Your idea of wearing an English flag on my hat is a good one – there are stalls on the High Street here in Canterbury that sell small Union Jacks and I might buy one for that purpose.

      I also think you have a good point when you said maybe the good ladies were fearful that I’d compete for the four stalwart fellows present! Well, I’d try to give them a good run for their money!

    1. did this really happen, if so god help the poms when lani arives. ha ha ha ,You can bet your bottom dollar they wont forget your visit by the sounds of things it seems like the most exitement they have had for some time and a foreigner as well from overseas, what cheek you had turning up without an invitation and a formal invitation. jo jo I loved this story, havnt stopped chucklimng since I read it lol xxx.

      1. Yes Lani, it all happened exactly as I wrote it! I think you’ll have a wonderful time when you come over and will fall in love with England. Why do you think I keep coming back?

        Thanks for commenting and I’m glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Hi jcb,

    I’ve heard that Northern folk here in the UK are really friendly! Maybe one of these days I’ll venture up there – I’d love to see the Yorkshire Dales.! Thanks for your comment.

    1. PS to my note, JoJo – just noticed your comment about folks up here in the North being friendly – definitely (apart from the odd one or two – they are everywhere) – and please visit our lovely Yorkshire Dales – and if you are in my local would love to meet up with you for a ‘cuppa’ – or a nice cappuchino!

  4. jo jo this made me laugh so much…it is brilliant i loved readin this…and yep if you venture up north please call and see me lol!!!!! 🙂 😀 🙂 😀

    1. Thanks so much Pol – if I do venture up North, you can be sure I’ll call you – I’d love to meet you. Thanks so much for both your comment and the invitation!

  5. Aw jojo – we aren’t all like that honest! i would never take my teeth out in public!!!
    Perhaps they took it to heart when you ran over the 50 eligible men with your scooter on the way in lolol

    1. Laughing my head off marge – as if!! lol I know most Brits aren’t unfriendly, I think once this lot gets to know me… then they’ll not only be really unfriendly but downright hostile! Hahaha

      Thanks so much for your comment and for making me laugh! From what you said, I gather that your teeth aren’t like stars, namely they don’t come out at night!! lol

  6. Enjoyed your blog, JoJo and found it interesting in that its usually that Canadians are regarded as being ‘reserved’ (I lived in Canada for over 40 years) and yet here you are in Jolly Old England and getting the ‘cold shoulder’.

    Possibly, as one person commented – the females saw you as competition for the limited number of males in the group! – and a very exotic creature from CANADA!! Hang in there – I’m sure you will break the ice and they will want to know all about you and Canada.

    Look forward to hearing how your next foray goes.

    1. Thanks so much for your comment goldengirl – I intend to go back to this seniors’ club on Tuesday and will probably post an update on how it went.

      I followed the suggestion of one of the commentators and purchased a little Union Jack flag this afternoon (cost me a quid from a street vendor) and intend to have it sticking up in front of my scooter, wedged into its basket – maybe this will make me less of a “foreigner” – who knows?

    1. I wonder if you’re right PollyPie!! I was asked “Were you expected?” and I answered “Expected to do what?” I had phoned them ahead of time, but I don’t think they were expecting me! Thanks for your comment!

  7. awee sorry you felt left out jojo….

    I have been to a lot of day centers in the UK for senior citizens, and I have also witnessed some ‘strange’ goings on however mostly those who do such things such Mabel taking her teeth out and placing her chutney and lemon curd on the table for no reason and appearing somewhat ‘different’ are more than likely in the early stages of dementia….at one of ours a very wealthy man brings along with him so much pocket change, every week before he plays the piano he goes through the same routine counts it all on the table and then puts it all in a Sainsburys bag, and counting it again, 3 times he does this, once the ritual is over he goes about on his business…
    My guess also is that some of the older generation are still a little reserved and not so much rude but possibly felt a little intimidated when you came in your grand entrance.
    I don’t think Joan was feeling proud that she knew the words and you didn’t maybe she was trying to look at you to jog you along into singing…..
    I’m not sure by wearing an English flag will help the situation, not many of us do that unless we are celebrating, such events as Jubiliee, Royal Weddings Poppy Day, etc it may make it worse.
    Also there is a North/South divide, but on the whole us ‘Brits’ are a friendly bunch, like all cultures it just takes a little time to get to know the so called ‘do’s and ‘dont’s’, where I live we have many different ethnic backgrounds, and I mean many (over 45 different languages) as time has gone on it’s great to see everyone just accepting each other for who they are…and I’m sure they would love to hear about your life in Canada in time.
    I did think this was also tongue in cheek jojo, therefore I do hope your next visit you’re able to come away feeling happier…
    ~ and watch out for the ‘winker’…..
    🙂
    x

    1. I cannot feature Jojo feeling in anyway near the way you characterize her in your revisionist and just a tad patronizing comment. Having said that, Jojo needs no champion taking the field for her; as I have not met anyone as good at giving it back as she is.
      But otherwise I cannot, simply can’t feature Jojo on a scooter. Jojo your cultural encounter is, as usual first rate writing and hughely entertaining. But one minor quibble; “geyser??” Didn’t you mean “geezer?” OB

    2. Thanks Deb for all your insights and comments. I intend to go back on Tuesday and yes, I will look out for my winker!!

      I am astonished at the differences here in England since the time I lived here. On a visit to London, the streets were crowded beyond belief, mostly with foreigners speaking other languages. In fact, one of them came up to me to ask for directions, thinking I was English and knew my way around!

      I am very much enjoying my “English Adventure” on Nelly (my scooter) and am constantly astonished by how helpful the people of Canterbury are! They go out of their way to open doors for me and are just so kind. Doesn’t happen in Ottawa, let me tell you which is why it is such a pleasant surprise to me here.

      I confess I have fallen in love with Canterbury.

      I don’t think however, that Joan was encouraging me to sing because I was singing right along with everyone as is my wont.

      I do agree that Mabel was probably in the early stages of dementia bless her heart.

      Thanks so much for your comment.

  8. Oh think you may have got the wrong end of my reply OB, I wasn’t patronizing jojo at all, I was in all honestly trying to understand why the offhand welcome jojo received was well, so offhand…..

    I do hope jojo your next visit is a lot jollier, and in time you will be welcomed, it just takes a little time.

    I admit I was a bit tongue in cheek about or flag, I suppose it’s because most of the time we who live here get told off for flying it for fear of offending the local Councils, due to offending others!, maybe I felt a tad jealous!

    ~ and just on another note this is NOT aimed at ANYONE on the SC site, I just read what I see, we Brits welcome anyone into our country, I mean, apparently I have even heard that many try to ‘hide’ underneath large artics crossing over from France, by pass sunnier climates, to rainy foggy old England and the welcome they are given is amazing, housing benifits, money to live on, no road tax to pay, why even building one of the largest asylum centers in Europe close to my town, cost £80 million, burnt it down and then we rebuilt it!!!… now that is tongue in cheek, and I apologize to all for side tracking sorry!

    I look forward to your next visit to the day centre jojo and hope it all goes well.

    🙂
    xx

    1. Thanks so much Ron for championing my cause. You’re right that I am and have always been able to speak for myself. As for my spelling “mistake” in a sense it was a mistake while in other cases, it could be spot on. Think about it: a “geyser” spouts a whole lot of hot air and so do certain people!!

      I didn’t find Deb’s comments in the least bit patronizing to be honest. but then I’m not an old geyser am I? 🙂

      1. In all honesty jojo, I know you to be a person who has a lot of get up and go and being well traveled like myself maybe just maybe gives you that edge over and possibly some of the people at the day center who haven’t ventured to far.
        I go to a lot of these places and often I see what you experienced when new people attend, jojo you are young at heart, and maybe Joan was a little envious, jealousy and resentful towards you as she saw a you exuburated ‘life’, sadly some people don’t like changes so to speak, however I’m sure there are some who will make you more than welcome, just avoid that table again, next time try the ‘winker’, table obviously he still has a little spark in his eye and hasn’t given up yet lol!!!…..
        ~ and if Mr kareokee is in again I say duet with the ‘winker’ now that’ll get them talking!! lol

        🙂
        x

        1. Haha debs, a duet with Winker – what a great idea!

          I think envy, covetousness is the most odious of the cardinal sins. I have many faults, but thank goodness, being envious of anyone isn’t one of them! I am perfectly happy being me with all my faults, quirks, shortcomings, and am perfectly content with what I have in life.

          Thanks for your comment

  9. Isnt it funny how, in writing, people tend to “assume” and jump to conclusions. If this was all the spoken word, I,m sure the outcome would be totaly different.

    Although I may agree that chivalry is still alive, I believe, that people perhaps should read a bit more slowly and look at the article from various angles, before jumping in with two feet.

    It is unfortunate, that one is not able to voice an opinion, without being accused of patronizing and I think it is very trivial and childish to pick up on spelling mistakes. No one is the perfect specimen, although some think they may be.

    I also have known Jojo a very long time and I know she is more than capable of speaking for herself.