It Gets a Little Frustrating

I’ve been trying to figure out how to write this blog so that it doesn’t come across as a one person ‘pity-party’. ..guess the best way is just to go ahead with it. This is not about affixing blame, pointing fingers, whining about ‘poor me’, it’s more about frustration. Generally, I’m happy with where I’m at with my life right now. I’ve been on my own for over a year, and I like to think I’ve managed quite well…however…there are things I really miss about not having someone around, yes, there’s that…but other things as well…for instance, someone to talk to, besides myself. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my own company, it’s just that I’ve had a little too much of it lately. It would be nice to have someone to do things with, whether just taking a stroll downtown, or sitting at home on the couch watching TV….and not keep coming home to an empty space night after night. Thank god for Senior Chatters, you guys have saved my sanity more than once!
I have joined a couple of dating sites, with mixed results. While my profile is viewed on these sites fairly often..that’s about as far as things go. I’ve tried to be as honest as possible, to present myself as an intelligent, still vibrant individual, who has a lot to offer, I’ve gotten a few nibbles, but no bites. I do chat with several people….from Florida, New York City, Michigan, Missouri, England, Australia, notice that Canada is not on the list…I can’t seem to find any guys even remotely local. Maybe they’re all hiding under rocks somewhere, I don’t know.

“Get out and meet people.”

Would love to, but I am on my own here, and after rent, food and bills, there’s not much left over for anything else. I would feel uncomfortable going to a bar by myself, and besides I think it would give the wrong impression…and no, I don’t have a group of girlfriends to pal around with. No oppourtunities at work either.

“Join a group…volunteer.”

I’ve explored this avenue, in the paper, library, online,not much around here..I’ve looked, believe me. As for volunteering, I work Monday to Friday 9-5 and don’t get home until close to 6pm.I use the weekends to do my food shopping and catch up on household chores.
It sounds like I’m making excuses, I’m not, this is just my reality right now. My daughters are grown and off living their own lives, and I’m and only child so no brothers or sisters around either. I don’t “need” someone in my life, but I wouldn’t mind having some company. The holidays are creeping ever closer.

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  1. I don’t think your self pitying Val….just stating a fact………echoing the thoughts of many……..men and women……….it is a proven fact that most people thrive on human contact….hugs, cuddles someone to converse with………someone to love and care for us……… a special someone………your life is a bit more difficult because of a lack of money and a friend to socialise with……..from what you say there is a not a lot more that you can do at the moment to meet someone, seems that you have explored most of the Avenues………a year on your own is not really a long time……..just seems like it……….thing will change……nothing stays the same for ever………so in the meantime looks like your stuck with us. xxxx

  2. Val, I am an “only” too. The holiday season can be lonely. Ohhh how I know. But in reading your friendliness, sharing, compassion, humor, all is not lost!!!!!! Change is sooo hard and giving up is sooo easy!!! Please keep looking for a positive place for your talents. And just one night a week. College classes, soup kitchen, nursing home, animal shelter, etc. You have so much to give. And Yes… you have us!!!! You are in my thoughts, HUGS!

  3. Val, thank you for writing this blog. I am sure many people on SC have felt some if not all these things; and if they havent, you have explained so they can understand. It took courage. I am an only child too. Much to my surprise, I have never felt the need, the want, the longing for a sibling as I do right now. I didnt expect that in my life – not ever. I have a wonderful family and friends who are family – but your right, they have their own lives, and I am blessed to be part of them. I have a couple friends who have literally “adopted” me as a sister – I am truly blessed by that as well. Some of these friends are an airplane ride away, a couple are here in Milwaukee with me, but our lives are so busy or schedules clash that I only see them 6 times a year or so. I had to learn how to be alone – that was difficult for me – I always had adults and children around me from the time I was an adult until I was 54 years old. It took awhile. It got better. I still have times now when the solitude bothers me. I am glad you have SC, they helped me too. Steady your course, you will find your way, your path. Many, many hugs. xxxxxx

  4. Val. It is in the hands of fate, whether you find another mate. In the meantime live your life fully pursuung your passions like poetry writing, card playing, dancing etc. There is no end to the possibilities to live your life fully and well and a woman who is energized and independent is much more appealing than the needy, clinging vine. Remind me of this when I am singing the same sad song. LOL.

  5. Dating is not an exact science val. It usually comes when you least expect it. Never give up. As for talking to yourself i have two things to say. Pick the one that is most approptiate at the time.
    Most intelligent person or the only person daft enough to listen. Keep the faith and much love and luck to you. xxxxx

  6. Val am sorry to hear that you are still feeling like this…does your children know how you feeling…could you not move nearer to them so that you are not so isolated….I am sure there are some places around where you live where u could go and meet others who are in the same boat as you….did you not say you belong to a choir ask people there if they no of anywhere or if they no of anyone who you could befriend…..I know how you feel Val I have been in the same boat as you on my own…I come from a big family so I really felt it when I was on my own….stop looking so hard and you may find if you not looking someone will turn up….there is a lot to be said for living on your own you do not have to answer to anyone so don’t jump at the first fence…… have pride in yourself and good luck…….

    We are always here on chatters for you and you don’t need any money …only once a yr
    Take care and loads of((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))