Here it is 6:30 am on April 25. Up for too long already. I guess going to see my attorney this morning is weighing on my already overloaded mind. And here I am again to vent and hopefully release some frustrations, confusion, anger....
The last two weeks I had two mediations for a total of three. And where are we today? I have no idea. Hence, my meeting this morning. The third mediation I brought a very supportive, has my back, strong willed, outspoken friend. Due to the constant duress of these past nine months I am having difficulty comprehending. My thought process is compromised. I could make a list of the consequences both mentally and physically this stress has caused.
As I count down to May 3 (8 days) I am wondering if I will truly make it. It all boils down to numbers. I need to know the bottom line and if I will be able to pay my bills. He makes a very good salary and I'd like to live above poverty level.
I stayed way too long but I cannot dwell on that. Those that have read my other blogs know a bit about why I had to leave. In a nutshell....to save my life.
So here is what I know for sure:
Today I see Joe, my attorney. My friend is going with me again to help be my eyes and ears because my comprehension is zilch.
On Sunday, April 30 I will stuff more of my belongings into my already packed up vehicle.
Monday I get the key to my new home! Yes, after 9 months of living with a friend, house sitting, back with my friend, my belongings helter skelter, I will finally be able to land. Can I believe it? No. I will move my things from Denise's. This is basically clothes and personal items. I am going to clean my new place even though it is brand new construction....carpenter dust you know. I'm a clean/neat freak and it will sooth my soul to do so. I have looked forward to this day for almost a year. I have been on the waiting list for my apartment since last July. I will spend the day putting things away, organizing and pinching myself.
Tuesday my furniture arrives that has been in storage. It's not much, consists of my bed, book case, an end table, TV table, chair. I have ordered a couch and dining set. Everything else is boxes of well, I can't even recall. Just stuff.
Wednesday, May 3, I get TV and internet installed. Oh yes...and I go to court. It's called a settlement conference. The case is set before the judge. If the moons are in alignment, the judge will be in a good mood and fair and my divorce is granted. Otherwise we go to trial May 23. This cannot happen folks.
There you have it. From then on I will unpack boxes, move things here and there, tweaking as I go along. I love home making. Something that isn't relished much these days. I also love digging in the dirt (hence my name). I have a small balcony with my apartment. I am scaling way back on the dirt digging. But I will have some lovely pots and load them with flowers and they will be the most tended to and gorgeous pots you've ever seen.