Count Down

Here it is 6:30 am on April 25.  Up for too long already.  I guess going to see my attorney this morning is weighing on my already overloaded mind.  And here I am again to vent and hopefully release some frustrations, confusion, anger....

The last two weeks I had two mediations for a total of three.  And where are we today?  I have no idea.  Hence, my meeting this morning.  The third mediation I brought a very supportive, has my back, strong willed, outspoken friend.  Due to the constant duress of these past nine months I am having difficulty comprehending.  My thought process is compromised.  I could make a list of the consequences both mentally and physically this stress has caused.

As I count down to May 3 (8 days) I am wondering if I will truly make it.  It all boils down to numbers.  I need to know the bottom line and if I will be able to pay my bills.  He makes a very good salary and I'd like to live above poverty level.

I stayed way too long but I cannot dwell on that.  Those that have read my other blogs know a bit about why I had to leave.  In a save my life.

So here is what I know for sure:

Today I see Joe, my attorney.  My friend is going with me again to help be my eyes and ears because my comprehension is zilch.

On Sunday, April 30 I will stuff more of my belongings into my already packed up vehicle.

Monday I get the key to my new home!  Yes, after 9 months of living with a friend, house sitting, back with my friend, my belongings helter skelter, I will finally be able to land.  Can I believe it?  No.  I will move my things from Denise's.  This is basically clothes and personal items.  I am going to clean my new place even though it is brand new construction....carpenter dust you know.  I'm a clean/neat freak and it will sooth my soul to do so.  I have looked forward to this day for almost a year.  I have been on the waiting list for my apartment since last July.  I will spend the day putting things away, organizing and pinching myself.

Tuesday my furniture arrives that has been in storage.  It's not much, consists of my bed, book case, an end table, TV table, chair.  I have ordered a couch and dining set.  Everything else is boxes of well, I can't even recall.  Just stuff.

Wednesday, May 3, I get TV and internet installed.  Oh yes...and I go to court.  It's called a settlement conference.  The case is set before the judge.  If the moons are in alignment, the judge will be in a good mood and fair and my divorce is granted.  Otherwise we go to trial May 23.  This cannot happen folks.

There you have it.  From then on I will unpack boxes, move things here and there, tweaking as I go along.  I love home making.  Something that isn't relished much these days.  I also love digging in the dirt (hence my name).  I have a small balcony with my apartment.  I am scaling way back on the dirt digging.  But I will have some lovely pots and load them with flowers and they will be the most tended to and gorgeous pots you've ever seen.

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Published in Poetry & Stories


  1. Sansoar

    So happy to get an update on your situation! I so identify with your enjoyment of setting up your own space. It was a while ago for me but I still remember the excitement!

    Nice to use your balcony to the fullest. I have often toyed with the idea of getting a plot at a community garden to augment my balcony. I wonder if they are available in your community.

    Looking forward to your life settling and seeing more of you at SC, my friend!

  2. Scorpio

    Good on you Dig. I’m absolutely positive things will all work out well in the end. Been there done that so life WILL be sweet again just hang on in there kid ?.

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Oh I’m hanging Scorp! Things are finally falling into place. Divorce will be final the 23rd. Went to what they call a settlement conference Wednesday. Went in his favor. I’ll be ok like I told Drummer but these past 9 months have been so stressful and for what? I never saw the judge. The lawyers go back and forth with the judge and then go to respective clients. So mediation was a joke…expensive and ridiculous. This was like mediation only with the judge. What should have taken 90 days….the lawyers are richer for sure. GRRRRR

  3. starlette

    So pleased that at last things are falling into place for you, slow but sure…….your own key in the lock, your sanctuary inside the walls of your own place, peace and calm from the outside world…….

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Thank you starlette. It’s been a fast and furious week since I’ve gotten the key. Never left the apt today, just puttering around still unpacking and organizing. Lining drawers and cabinets. I love it!

  4. Drummer

    I have been wondering for some time how you have been progressing, and can well understand your pleasure of finally moving into your own home – may it bring you much happiness, and may the problems you have had to bear so long like snow, – just melt away!

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Well I wrote this on April 25 and they didn’t publish it until today…what’s with that? Anyway, I am in my place. Been setting up housekeeping. Went to court last Wednesday. The judge was sympathetic to him because of his age. I’ll be ok but it wasn’t fair and equitable which is what has been preached to me for 9 months now. The final date is May 23.

  5. Drummer

    This is a very good reason why blogs should be published instantly – we are after all grown up and delays ;ole this take away all the pleasure of writing – and waiting!
    Take Care.

    1. Rob

      @drummer I appreciate it can be frustrating waiting, but unfortunately as Blogs are publicly accessible and indexed by Google for the world to see they need to approved before they get posted. They used to be instantly posted as I’m sure you remember, but unfortunately some members abused this and posted content that only brought the site down.

      1. Drummer

        Hello Rob Message received and I guess understood
        but frustration still remains as you will appreciate.
        I had no idea Facebook or other sites were concerned.,
        Regards Drummer

  6. roseinbloom

    Idigdirt. Keep us posted if you have concerns or good news with your new life. I have started over a few times and it all got to be an interesting new chapter. I am in a happy new chapter now. Be optimistic and judicious.

    1. idigdirt Post author

      Rose – You are in a new chapter? And it’s happy? AWESOME! I’m trying to be optimistic. Yesterday was tough as I spent Mother’s Day alone. Got a text from my daughter. Last night a phone call from my son. They are so wrapped up in themselves.

      But I was tweaking around the apartment. Hung a few more things on the walls. I was trying to not put holes in the walls using those Command strips but they aren’t good for everything. Finally I thought the heck with it….and hammered away!

      I’d like to hear about your new chapter!