Common Courtesy in Chat
I have something I need to get off my mind and speak my peace about. I was in Main Lobby last evening with several other chatters, just rambling on with different subjects when things took a more serious note and another chatter began sharing her life story with us.
Now I know that most of us like to come into chat and have a laugh and forget our troubles, but there is sometimes, a need to slow down, sit back,, and listen when someone is sharing a burden with us.
To be a part of any family, even this crazy internet one (meaning SC), you have to understand that it will not always be about the laughs you share, but about the more personal things you share also. In fact, I think it’s the more personal side to chat that forms bonds and friendships that are lasting.
What I found most upsetting is that while she was sharing her story, another chatter kept interjecting with comments, including the comment that she was “full of shit”, and though myself and others attempted to explain to this chatter that sometimes we do need to share these things, he was having no part of it.
He continued with his rude comments throughout the conversation, even though we all tried our best to ignore him.
What has happened to plain old common courtesy? Does it really take so much out of our day or evening to just stop and listen to someone when they are having a moment? Is twenty minutes or so just too much for someone to spare to another person? I guess for some it is, but for me, I will always have time to listen……..
It is quite apparent you must have met a jerk?
I’m sorry that happened Ellie. Ever heard the phrase “hurt people hurt”?
I have to believe people who treat others with disrespect in any capacity have to be hurting inside. Not excusing his behavior, that was rude. I doubt he even realized he hurt anyone. In that mindset people don’t know or in most cases even care how they treat others. You would think at our age we have moved beyond such rudeness.
jsmile. It is true that some hurting people hurt, but I know a lot of people here that have huge burdens and never a cross, mean word crosses their lips, nor I have never heard a complaint. Pain can turn to compassion or to anger or meanness.
I am strengthen by these people and also inspired. That one jerk will hopefully learn that his behavior is totally unacceptable.
Hope the person has had time to realize how rude and uncaring he was. But most likely no unfortunately. Personally, as much as he was behaving like and unfeeling jerk, I just like to say that fortunately most are very caring people that are here to meet people and to make new friends. If a friend comes in and needs help, a listener, or just a laugh, we should treat them the same as if they are sitting across the table sharing a cup of coffee. It is far to easy to type out something that you would not say right to a person’s face.
Ellie I am glad that you are blogging about this ugly meanness in the chat room, but he who said it may not hear it here. He needed to be told when and where he started his vile talk.
he was told, and kept right on doing it, just putting it down to an ignorant fool and moving on…………….
Well term like “full of shit” directed at someone specifically as you indicated is not what I would consider even remotely acceptable behaviour at any time let alone when someone’s needing a kindly ear.
It’s a pity you didn’t copy the conversation and report him. I would have,
I cannot believe nobody has outed the offender, lets hear who this insensitive jackass is???????
Totally agree Tessa, lets hear who it is, we are supposed to be caring Adults, aren’t we?
Certainly not the behaviour of a responsible, caring adult and this same person needs a lesson in how to respect other people. Im left to wonder how this same person would feel if those same comments were directed at him/her. I won’t suggest a name and shame on here but I sure hope that same person reads this Blog and is grown up enough to realize that is an unacceptable attitude to have and let us real caring people know who he/she is along with an explanation of their behaviour. Can’t see it happening but but it would be nice if people took responsibility for their own actions
I was in the chat room for a while last night while this was going,, I left figuring the people to be would deal with it.. Now I come in here read a blog about it and comments.. Seem a negative has become another negative.. Mob rules.. Sorry don’t mean sound hateful.. But I didn’t have the facts about her,, Plus I didn’t have facts about the other.. both were having a bad day,, I think this should have been reported and let who ever does it, deal with it.. Now I think the chat room is going to be a bit hostile.. Think I will stay away.. That is my two bits.. Lou
The chat room is a lovely place..it certainly isn’t hostile, but I agree with what ellie says.people shouldn’t jump to conclusions about anyone in there,nobody knows what people who suffer with certain disibilities, and how it affects there lives go through,and sometimes they like to talk about it, nothing wrong with that.infact its good to know people will listen,and care …….
as they say ….. its good to talk… ellie your right, they say l,m a charmer but one thing l would never do is demean any woman thats what my brothers taught me, l know if l ever did l would get a slap from my 6 brothers,
Its a shame that a monitor wasn’t present to take control. A the very least, silence the misbehaving with a warning that if any further behavior occurs that it would warrant further action…. in my opinion that is.
this is so sad, to able to come to a wonderful place like chatters, with a heavy burden and be able to share with others who really care, it lightens the load, when others show they care… we all have our ups and downs in life and some have no-one to share them with, so whoever that person is , shame shame shame, I only hope , one day if you need someone to talk too, with your attitude,you will loose out, but then if the time comes and you need some one to listen,people are so kind and understanding here , they will give even you a kind shoulder…compassion and kindness cost nothing ….if ever another person comes into chat or p.m.s me I sincerely hope I will always fin the time to listen ,support and encourage…. Lani xxxx.,as most others here would as well.
I agree with you Sassy . It is a shame that a monitor wasn’t present. I wonder where some of the room monitors have been? Some seem to have been missing from the site for awhile? How will they be able to help the room if they are not on the site for weeks?
Pass….Monitors have lives as well but if one is needed all it takes is a call for help….either via scammer watch or private message to one or more of them. It generates an email and someone who may be available will come in. In the meantime the Block is always available to members in the chatroom…:-)
I agree we are a nice group but we are also gullibly to sad stories by others.. We also are more trusting when we believe someone is in need.. That’s when the cons come in and take advantages of us.. Not saying that is what was happening here,, But on the other hand let’s look at it a little more.. And I am not defending the other person that made the remarks.. Not sure who we are talking about anyway.. Didn’t hang around that long.. but I did noticed a few things about her story.. First.. Her Bio.. Showed her to me 70 years old,, second,, she was talking in present day.. As if all this had happen in the last years or so.. Some of her phases sounded like some of my twenty year old grandkids talking.. I think that what the other person saw and was calling her out on it.. Maybe they should have used a little more tack.. But who I am to said,, I am saying what think,,, not what I know.. But the “full of shit” would be out of place unless she was.. That is one of our generations saying.. Lou
Is this gentleman the only one who has been rude in chat?…..I think “NOT”!…iff your face fits in chat,you are in in,…iff it don’t,you are out,lol,..I never go in chat anymore,to many cliquey people,in there,always one has to be top dog!.
Westcoast/ Very good point, we should treat the people in chat just like a face to face meeting. That is what a lot of people come here for. a kinder place. no scores to settle here and if you don’t want to hear a person, just block them, or leave. If they come to be mean they will be shunned by others or by management.
Maybe we can name the top dog in there,can we???????
flowersun. A good point. Some people do seem to ignore some others which is very rude. If they want to talk to one, two, or three, they should go to another place.
Common courtesy means in a group we allow, and respond to all and show no great preference. Most people do a wonderful job of welcoming and including other, but a few do not.
“AMEN”!!!!!,to that roseinbloom,I agree with every word you are saying.
Just because somebody appears in chat doesn’t mean anyone else is obligated to say anything to them at all. Just as nobody on earth would greet every single person they see during the day. It’s not some sort of requirement that anyone speak to anyone else. I’m sure we have all be slighted at some point, possibly on purpose and possibly not, why would it matter? In an ideal world perhaps your utopian view of human communications would work but in the real world, I’m afraid not. Humans unfailingly and by design do prefer some over others and that will never change.
It is unfortunate that outright rudeness occurs however, and that is something which, at our age, can be controlled.
Oh this is sad………I must be lucky…..I rarely see any bad stuff in chat…….I wish people wouldn’t leave the Lobby and not come in….why miss out just because of a few ignorant people? I have some brilliant times in there………..such a shame…….chat is a place where we have fun…….and yes share stuff if we want to…..surely people can be polite enough to at least keep quiet for a while…..if they don’t want to join in at that moment………xxxxxxxx M
I find in the Aussy night time chat a room full of nice ,funny people who take the time to get along, , i am usually gone by 10.30 our time so I miss a lot of what happens, I only know I love to go and chat with everyone that turns up… a nice place to be and have a laugh….with nice people….
Lani, when I tire out and skip my afternoon nap, I will make sure I join the aussies, and I have and always enjoyed them. Lani, you welcomed me in and made me comfortable from my first day.
This is a bit of a storm in a teacup as the two people its about were chatting happerly today in the room.Sometimes its best if we leave it to the ones themself to work it out.
Mccathy. A good point but it is always good to discuss courtesy. Also, the two people were not the only people upset when this conversation took place.
Actually, the chatter who made the comments, has apologized, which I think was well done of him.
I think it bothers me more to see comments of those who know nothing of the situation….. the usual
moving forward, common courtesy is what was behind my blog
exactly ellie x
surely if you write a blog you expect comment or why bother writing it and if you listened to this person upsetting ppl for 20 minutes then why didn,t you and the others block him which would have made him sit up and realise what he was doing was wrong. You have the block button and the report button which can be used but apparently nobody did a thing for all that time but let him carry on. Later you decide to come into blog and complain.
Then you complain about ppl making comments about your blog, seems to me sometimes ppl cant win when a simple block button would have sufficed at the time of action
Well said,cef.
I see chat as a social event,, just like going to a party,, may have four or five groups talking at the same time of different topics, one may leave and joint another group.. Whatever is interesting at the time.. I have never been to a party where everybody greed who ever came to the front at the same time.. it’s more,, hi I didn’t know you were here?..
I think some people look at their key board when typing.. They look up,, somebody came in,, while they were look down.. Sometimes the screen will get to moving so fast and it hard to keep up,, some of you people can talk.. lol..With your fingers.. I am glad everybody is happy now.. Let’s find something else to talk about.. it keep us young.. Lou