AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
My counselor game me a copy of this poem many years ago. It is about becoming personally aware and responsible for yourself. Unless we begin to learn from our mistakes, we are destined to repeat them. Hope you enjoy the poem and that it brings you some insight. Linda
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
from – There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery
by Portia Nelson
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place
but, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit.
my eyes are open
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
Here are a few comments to add to poem above: by Barry Greenwald, Ph.D.
Problematic behavior persists for a variety of reasons. Important in those reasons are the stories or explanations we offer ourselves about what we do:
“I AM HELPLESS” — The firm belief that I can’t do anything about my situation is a powerful preventative to change. If you haven’t got the power, there is nothing you can do about your situation. Seeing yourself as “helpless” insures paralysis. Seeing yourself as “helpless” can provide a powerful rationale for doing nothing.
“IT ISN’T MY FAULT” — I’m not responsible for this misfortune. I had nothing do with it. I’m the victim. It all happens to me. This point of view is a powerful inhibitor of action. It allows for all responsibility to be denied. As long as it isn’t your fault there is nothing in your behavior you have to look at or understand.
“I PRETEND…” — The need to believe that things have changed is very strong and it sometimes takes the place of the effort required to bring about the desired change. Pretending is a way not seeing, of denying parts of reality that are unpleasant and unsatisfying. People who have pretended that things have changed are likely to say “I can’t believe it happened again…” when the pretense fails and the old, self-defeating situation replays itself again.
Oh so true but it still don’t alter the fact that our mind and our thought process is often something so hard to control and maintain. We are tomorrow what we think we are today. I know I have lost some of my resilience but when it comes back it is so hard tomaintain.x x
Reading this made me think of me. This was my thoughts. I walked down the street and saw the pothole and remembered how hard it was to climb out so walked around it but still didnt see where I was going and fell down a different pothole which was just as hard in a different way to climb out off. I then decided to try a different street but there were still potholes to get around and get out off each time I fell into one. The only difference to the first one was that I became more aware that potholes existed just as different streets did and that life didn’t hold any guarantee of what each street would hold or how many or what type of pothole I would encounter as I walked along. I could either choose to continue to walk ahead or remain stuck in the potholes and streets I had already found and that I was responsible for the decisions I made. x
I Understand, my potholes are numerous. I can say that I stopped falling down some, but I just found others to fall into instead. I also used to be a poster child for being a victim. One of my favorite quotes is “Some people are not aware that they are not aware.” They are clueless to why things happen to them again and again. Being aware is important, aware of why you do the things you do, aware of choices, aware of results. If you learn to hold yourself accountable, then you start to make better choices.
Great post Linda – I can relate to your comment MHB; sounds a lot like my life. My problem is that I am too caring and think of others before myself – this has gotten me into a lot of potholes – and at the moment I am struggling to get out of one GREAT BIG POTHOLE xo
Foreveryoung, You can do it! You have a support group on here. Many of tend to care for others more than we take care of ourselves. Make you your own best friend. What would a best friend say to you? They would be caring, honest, and helpful. They would not beat you up. We all make mistakes, it is how you deal with the mistakes that is important.
Linda
Thank you Linda for your support xox
Here is my hand forever I will help you out ! xx
Oh Norma I will take it gladly – thank you xox
That is what I cherish about this site – the real true friendships. God bless you all xox
Great post linda xxx
Very good! Thanks for sharing this.
Life is, and always will be full of potholes, different potholes, you have to fall down them to find out who you are, what your capabilities are, your strengths your weaknesses, they serve a purpose, a learning process…….learn from these potholes and maybe you can help others out of theirs..
Nice reply Starlette. I so agree.
Linda maybe the next street will have a couple bars where i can get a beer or 2
Funny Arizona… lol, many people have fallen into bars as well as holes. At least in bars, you have people to keep you company. Take care my friend.