X-Files and “The Night Before Christmas”….

“We’re too late! It’s already been here.” 

“Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney.”

“You really think someone’s been here?” 

“Someone or something.”

“Mulder, over here–it’s a fruitcake.”

“Don’t touch it! Those things can be lethal.” 

“It’s O.K. There’s a note attached: ‘Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice.”

“It’s judging them, Scully. It’s making a list.”

“Who? What are you talking about?”

“Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite…”

“If you’re saying some huge creature landed on the roof and came down this chimney, you’re crazy. The flue is barely six inches wide. Nothing could get down there.”

“But what if it could alter its shape, move in all directions at once?”

“You mean, like a bowl full of jelly?”

“It brought me a Mr. Potato Head, Scully. It knew that I wanted a Mr. Potato Head!”

“I’m sorry, Mulder, but you’re asking me to disregard the laws of physics. You want me to believe in some supernatural being who soars across the skies and brings gifts to good little girls and boys?”

“The government doesn’t want people to know about Project Kringle. They fear that if this thing is proved to exist the public will spend half its annual income in a holiday shopping frenzy. Retail markets will collapse. Scully, they cannot let the world believe this creature lives. There’s too much at stake. They’ll do whatever it takes to insure another silent night.”

“Mulder, I—”

“Sh-h-h. Do you hear what I hear? On the roof. It sounds like…a clatter. The truth is up there Scully. We need to know the truth.”