WRONG NUMBER
Ever had a wrong number and they don’t give you time to say so? Well I did, and I got my own back. My phone rang, I picked it up and an abrupt female voice asked me if Chris was there. The conversation went as follows (you can put your own language in, just take some VERY bad language and double it:-
‘Is Chris there’ (no please, just a very abrupt female voice).
‘No I’m sorry, he’s not’ (no Chris in my house).
Click went the phone. I replaced it on the stand, only to have it ring 5 minutes later.
‘Hello?’
‘Is Chris there’.
‘No, I’m sorry he is not here. He…’ (I hate being interrupted mid sentence).
‘I know he is there. I’m not stupid’ (I think she’s a bit cross).
‘Look he doesn’t….’ (If she would let me finish I could answer her, and the language I am not allowed to put in here came flowing through the phone.
Holding the receiver away from my ear, I waited until the tirade against the hapless Chris subsided enough for me to get a word in edge-ways.
‘Wait a minute, let me explain…’ (Again, with the bad language interwoven, I waited until the yelling had finished. I wonder if Chris wears ear plugs).
OK, getting frustrated and cross now. I hoped she was on a mobile and was running her balance down so she couldn’t ring back.
‘HE IS NOT HERE’.
‘Well where is he’.
‘He is no where in my house’.
‘And who are you then?’.
OK time to finish this conversation, the language is making my ear drum ring.
‘Listen carefully because I am only going to say this once’. (Silence on the other end, or maybe she has run out of swear words).
‘Chris is not here, I sent him to the shop for more wine, we drank it all. As to who I am, I am the lady standing at the bench waiting for Chris to get back with the wine. When Chris gets back I will tell him he had a phonecall. I have caller display, I will tell him you rang’. (I don’t have any such thing but she can’t see down the phone line.
Her phone got put down with such force I am sure I heard it crack.
I am still waiting for Chris to get back with the wine, and I bet when he got home from where ever he went he got an earful. Half of me feels sorry for him, the other half thinks I should go into business importing a device to mute the levels of anger that can come down the phone line.
Incidently, she never rang back.
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Oh my what a good comeback !!! My wrong numbers never get that far and most of them are very polite when I say so and so doesn’t live here, but I have a private number so this doesn’t happen very often, thank goodness. I hope your eardrums have recovered from the onslaught. Take care xoxox
Yes they have, but still grinning about what he will get when he goes home lol.
Yes, Kiwi- bet he gets an ear bashing! Good for you for keeping your cool!
I hate it when I’m right in the middle of doing something and someone rings trying to sell me something I don’t want,-and won’t be put off, I end up putting the phone down on them and then practice my unladylike language, Scares the dog at times.
Mx
I just put the phone on the table and leave them to waffle on lol. It’s not my money paying for the call lol. They hang up eventually hahahaha.
Excellent idea- I’m going to do that! Think I’ve been too polite in the past-fancy being more evil! Lol !
Having a constant stream of idiot callers, either wrong numbers or ‘sales calls’, when I recently changed my telephone number, I always left my answer machine to pick up the calls first. If it was someone I wanted to talk to I would pick up, otherwise I would just let it go to voice mail.
Friends and family all have my mobile number, so the only ‘calls’ I now get from the house line are ‘no idea who they are’ so the answer machine has remained a permanent feature. Works for me 🙂
Kiwi av just had one it was a foriegn voice bad english can i speak to MT David G? I said nope why not I wish to speak to MR David G I said well do u know any phsycics? why she said cau se he’s been DEID GONE KAPUT for years now am the man of this hoose == DEID glasgow slang for dead Hoose house when she spoke in a foreign language i thought i’d answer in scottish slang lolol
oh kiwi..laughing like an idiot here..lol..and i promise i won’t swear at you next time i call…ahahhhahhaaaaaahhhhhhhh
i’ve had my landline number for 8 years and i’m STILL getting phone calls from all sorts of people from bill collectors,sheriffs office and irate “friends” for “renee alasardo”..years ago a friend of his/.hers even called me back to give me a new number to give out for this person…lol..i wish i had kept that number..
hahahaha, love your comeback kiwi. xxxx