Why all the fuss?

I was brought up in central Scotland in the 50's and 60's so my first real contact with people of a different race was at 18 in the army. Now there was a lot of prejudice about, but as I'd never met anyone other than white I decided to do what I always did and wait to see if I could trust these new people in my life. I soon found that I could.

It was about then that I wondered what all the fuss was about race.

When I left the army in the mid 80's the latest prejudice seemed to be gays. Once again i'd never come across any (or any who'd admit to being gay) so when I encountered one at work I fell back on the wait and see method. Turned out he was just another bloke, good at his job.

Again I wondered what all the fuss was about.

Lately the public stress seems to be over transgender. Well I know one who's transitioned from male to female and she's still the same person he was (apologies if that's not phrased right, but hey. Best I can do)

So once again I ask, what's all the fuss about. Surely if people are not hurting themselves or others then stop stressing and just accept them for who and what they are, not to show that there's anything wrong with them, but the issue is with you. It's called prejudice.

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Published in People & Events

Comments

    1. LoneRogue

      Your last sentence is… ” accept them for who and what they are, not to show that there’s anything wrong with them, but the issue is with you. It’s called prejudice.”

      Could you be more specific as to who the “you” are?

  1. starlette

    Hi Way….good blog………as in life with many people, colour, creed, or gender I will accept and trust until they give me reason not to……….that includes liars and cheats……… although I find the gays witty and fun,” mostly anyway”…I do feel when they have their gay marches dressed in the leather, studs and masks , putting themselves out there to show unity it sort of gives the wrong impression of them, and some people could find it harder to accept them, they can look a bit scary …lol……if they go about their business in a normal fashion and not draw attention to themselves then they would get accepted more, but I guess if you want to be flamboyant so be it……..

  2. jessamyne

    I would think it would be simple to accept each other for who we are. It doesn’t need to be complicated. Follow the basics.

    Treat others as you would have yourself be treated.

    Do no harm.

    Doesn’t get much simpler than that, does it?

        1. jessamyne

          Not into religion except my own personal beliefs, but can appreciate great advice.

          All I can add, is, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”

          There’d be a lot less rock-throwing if people could adhere to that one.

  3. TheWalker

    Waylander nice blog.

    Unfortunately people always like to pick on others who are different, to blame for their ill fortune. They choose colour, creed, sexuality, sexual orientation basically anything. They then blame them for their own problems, money unemployment housing etc. It is the nature of some people and if it isn’t so bad as it once was it is only hidden slightly below the surface, ready to surface again when topics like Brexit allow. In the words of the Bob Marley song talking about racism. “Until the colour of a man’s skin Is of no more significance than the colour of his eyes Me say war” I fear we are still some way away from this.

  4. Drummer

    If only more people would accept us “AS WE ARE” or if you prefer it “As we seem to be” Life would be so much more peaceful not to say pleasant!

  5. Ms. K.

    What I object is forcing the transgender and gay curriculum into elementary school studies. C’mon! Kids aren’t ready for sex – it’s being pushed in their faces? That’s just wrong.

  6. foreveryoung2

    We just had a public vote on same sex marriage here in Australia and the “Yes” vote won (approx 60/40%). The Government is yet to pass this Legislation, but some of the “No” voters are not happy and want conditions put in place. Hopefully the Legislation will be passed before Christmas. I believe this will not make much of a difference to our society. It allows for same sex couples to be married – most importantly to be legally the next of kin, as now same sex partners have been excluded from (eg) being at the bedside of their ill partner – or having any say when it comes to their partners. This, I understand, is one of the main reasons for same sex couples to be able to marry. The assumption by many is that this will cause problems with priests being forced to marry them, caterers will be forced to cater for their weddings, venues will be forced to allow same sex marriage in their premises. This fuss is RIDICULOUS. We are ALL mostly intelligent human beings and there will be many people who will be happy to cater for these marriages. Other countries have allowed these marriages, I understand without all this “fuss”. It is said that God created us in “His Image” !!!! We are ALL God’s Creations !!!!

  7. sunsip

    Good blog way, I agree with every word, my family consists of gays, straights, blacks, whites and italians. (not me labelling them “society’s”).
    Adult are strange, children have no predjuices, an example=
    I possess a large and small gollywog who sit on my beanbag, my sister was arriving with her 6yr old gransdon, another person was in my house at the time who said id best remove them, why i thought? i was right !
    Little lad instantly pointed at gollywogs and said “oh look a daddy and a boy”.
    Enough said !

  8. Ms. K.

    A daddy and boy – hmm, could also apply to a single father and his son, or a dad with his son. It doesn’t necessarily point to a homosexual father and a child. I had to look up gollywog.
    All, I can say is – that particular item wouldn’t be acceptable to Black Americans.

    I don’t want to start a war about this blog. It’s not worth it, and arguing never changed a person’s mind, right?

    We’re all entitled to our feelings -and, we’re not under any obligation to agree with anyone else.

    1. sunsip

      I never referred to a homosexual at all !!! And a gollywog is a toy !!!
      OMG people do put muck where muck dont exist !!!
      Im speechless !

        1. Rockflower

          I had a golliwog doll as a child and I loved it, I had Uncle Remus stories read to me as a child and so wanted to meet him and hear him telling the stories. The first book I cried over was , Black Beauty but I would not be consoled over , Uncle Toms Cabin! All these frowned on now and avoided yet I think they they made me curious and open to meeting black people on an equal footing. Am I wrong in thinking this? I do acknowledge that we all have some prejudices….living a life affects us LOL! I used to be iffy about ginger haired people because it was a ‘ginger
          boy’ that terrorized me on the way home from school aged about 7yrs.
          Like most here I say accept people for what they are . Anyone can do as they want as long as they do no harm to others. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same.

    1. LoneRogue

      This blog post is puzzling to me. I must have missed something. Was there a “fuss” about prejudice? It is always easy to misunderstand when euphemisms are used instead of direct understandable words. Certainly you can be forgiven for not knowing what a golliwog is.

    2. Rockflower

      Gooliwog was a stylized black figure looked rather like a figure from the Black Minstrel shows I suppose. Big Afro hair do, blue jacket red and white striped pants. I have no idea why but Robertson’s jams and marmalade used to have this figure on their labels. He was so popular you could save labels and send them off to Robertsons at one point and get a little enamelled brooch or badge of the golliwog. I so loved my golliwog doll I could not wait to get a badge. Some people would say this made me racists. At the time I would not have known what that word meant. Before instant coffee granules, Brit’s had Camp coffee, a dark liquid which added to water was a cup of coffee!! in my opinion it does not taste like real coffee. However it was probably of some use to soldiers in far outposts of the empire. I say this because on the bottle there was depicted , a Scottish soldier sitting being served a cup of coffee by an exotic looking man wearing a turban. There was a fuss about him too but instead of standing by the Scottish soldier he now sits.I never thought of the guy in the Turban as lesser, to me he was India and I wanted to go there.
      Where there is prejudice I think a big component of it is fear, manufactured or real.

      1. starlette

        Political correctness has gone to far….its a fact the Black community do not like to be referred to as coloured…they are neither Red, Blue, purple or Green………we accept being called White, they accept being called Black, ………..I had bride dolls for Christmas as a child, sometimes they were Black, sometimes I got a White one, I never gave it a second thought, although as a child there were no Blacks in my village…..there are the Red Indians, that’s the name they are known by…….why oh why do the do gooders create all these problems where there are none to start with…..no Baa Baa Black sheep now in the Poem, mustn’t offend the sensitive……….be no Little Miss Muppet soon………..she could be transgender……..the Gollywog dolls did us no harm, nether did the Gollywog stickers…..The Black and While Minstrels was a popular family show……….its just a handful of off the wall, nothing better to do protesters who think up theses idiocies
        …….the Blacks call us White Honkeys…….do we care…I don’t…….some people really need to get a grip on life….

        1. LoneRogue

          Pre-judge (prejudice) is a feeling probably all people have at times in their lives. Having and acting upon a feeling is the difference in that judgement being harmful to society or not. I understand that police forces, possibly world wide, have “no go zones” is that not prejudging? I know that in our large cities it can be dangerous to take a wrong exit off of a freeway into some neighborhoods. Is that not per-judging?

          Judging that a person of a different national origin, sex or skin color, etc. and thinking anyone of those characteristics will *always* be bad or dangerous is the form of prejudice which is very harmful to society. Is it wrong to use caution?

          Is behavior by one group against another judged the *exact* same way between those two groups?

          1. starlette

            I would say the no go zones have earned that reputation by the number of crimes that have been committed against the public when they entered them….not to say everyone that lives in those areas would commit crimes, but I would say the police are more aware than the public and need to advise people for their own safety………but they are not forbidden so enter knowing the risks………you cannot lump everyone together of any colour or nationality and assume they all fit the same image………

  9. vonMichael

    Interesting blog Way,

    We have large gay societies in a handful cities here in Germany. I don’t mind them
    the way they are. But if member of these groups try to provoke others by their
    behaviour than, yes than I get very much annoyed. Not with the person themself,
    but the way they demonstrate that they are different.
    My view on this point Way. Michael

  10. Ms. K.

    It’s too easy to say that prejudice = fear. There are too many reasons why that feeling exists. Some are hateful, while others are caused by hurtful incidents that a person can’t escape – and unfortunately colors their interactions/ perceptions.
    It’s better not to condemn a person for their prejudices, but to try to help them overcome them by prayer and your own behavior.

    1. LoneRogue

      You bring an important point to the discussion. “Fear and hate” are the reasons for some who have prejudice, however I do not want it pinned to my comments here as “caution” is my feeling in pre-judging. To not be cautious of people we meet for the 1st time is, I believe, more than a little foolish. We all know of horrid events in world news.

  11. Rockflower

    We need someone of colour, what ever colour to join this conversation. We all have preconceptions all I can say is…I truly try to catch myself out if I make a hasty judgement. We have all seen on our news programs, levels of hate that are not understandable to me. How can you hate people you do not know have not met? Please enlighten me someone but I never have understood the hatred of Jews. There have to be some very nasty Jews about, just as we can find nasty British, Canadian and Americans. if we look hard enough. Does it all go back to religion? Jesus was killed in Jerusalem but didn’t the Romans( Italians) play apart in that? Well true for all the good religion has done in this world, it has done at least equal amount of bad. I don’t trust the institutions of any religion anywhere. I know there are good religious people but ‘corporate’ religion is just as power and greed hungry as big business.

  12. starlette

    Define religion ?……….acts of the most horrendous violence, torture, murder are committed under the cloak of religion by brainwashed followers of unhinged leaders………….there are good religious people and there are as many hypocritical “religious ” people…….going to Church and studying the Bible does not make you a good person………how you behave and treat people in your day to day life makes you either a good or bad person…….

  13. roseinbloom

    Waylander, I like your blog and I agree with every word. I also agree with most of everything that was said.
    I will add that prejudice is embedded deeply into our culture so we need to be very careful not to reflect the culture in those aspects.
    Some gays are extreme, so are some hetersexuals, and so the same is true of other groups. Some are superior and some are not.
    I agree with you. Waylander. What is all the fuss about?

  14. rose1943

    All this fuss comes around when there’s nothing else for these so-called do-gooders/”intellectuals” to fuss about. “What bathroom should their 8 year old daughter use in school since she shows signs of caring for girls more than boys?” OMG……they are the very people throwing out the prejudice towards our gays and lesbians! How can an 8 year old possibly know she is lesbian? Where would that come from? Ahhhh, and there we are. PARENTS, LET YOUR CHILDREN GROW UP NORMALLY! They will find out sooner or later by themselves. Here in Chicago, it was normal to see the gays and lesbians on Braidway and Clark way back in the 60’s. We bowled next to them, sat in the booth in the restaurant next to them…..never even thinking a thing about it. This area is now called ‘Boys Town’ and where the annual Gay Parades are held. There is no fuss. Many of my children’s friends are gay. I love them coming over and they love coming here. They’re so much nicer and more polite than some of the others.
    My father thought the blacks were a wonderful race. One of his best friends was black. That was handed down to our entire family.
    My father was terribly prejudiced towards the Japanese. His friend was shot by one in the war. That was handed down to me. I tried hard not to feel that but it was terribly difficult. This was not handed down to my children at all. In this great melting pot of Chicago, where all of us live, we love them all. I feel that the parents have great influence on this subject. My opinion.

    1. LoneRogue

      Rose, you mention walking with your family in parts of Chicago. Would you take your family to GARFIELD PARK — The 4400 block of West Monroe on Chicago’s West Side? It is a residential street of, senior citizens and a day care center.

    2. rose1943

      By the way, Lone….Garfield Park is at Madison and Pulaski. Madison is in the middle of the city and Pulaski is 4000 North. Closest we’ve been to that area is the United Center for concerts and basketball games but it’s still further east. Sorry. Have you lived in Chicago at any time?

        1. LoneRogue

          If I recall it is 16 miles west of the lake so pretty close. I’m a country boy so it was too close for me. However being a salesman I was in Chicago nearly everyday.

  15. rose1943

    No, Lone, Garfield Park is nowhere near where any of us live? Why would you ask about Garfield Park? I’m curious about your reason.
    There are areas in Chicago I feel we have no right to walk around in. We would not be welcome and we would be taking our lives in our hands. Know what I mean, Jelly bean? It’s called ‘street smarts’

    1. LoneRogue

      Rose is fine. She stays in a discussion and handles her side well. The author of this blog caused a “fuss” then disappeared.

  16. rose1943

    Lone, let’s just continue our discussion, hopefully, without someone judging what we’re saying…..( I had been reprimanded enough from the nuns going through 12 years of Catholic school!)
    Here’s the thing, Lone, I’ve lived in inner city Chicago for 74 years. Walking intentionally through a neighborhood where you’re absolutely not wanted….and you know that….no, I wouldn’t call that prejudice. You just have to have respect. You know the difference so why in God’s name would someone want to disturb the balance or upset the applecart? This is life experience here we learn from a young age and living in this Windy City. You and I know very well that we can’t discuss politics together….and we don’t but I liked this discussion and maybe we’ll have more to say IF WE’RE ALLOWED TO!

    1. LoneRogue

      I wouldn’t go there either, Rose. We all know there is very serious differences between races, religions sexes and others and all that I have been posting about is trying to have everyone be honest that being cautious and making a judgement about rational things before we get in trouble does make sense. I believe that is pre-judging.

    2. LoneRogue

      I was what some people would probably call “poor white trash” when I was a kid. We lived in a poor section of town with black people in our neighborhood. We were near a big park with lots of playgrounds and I played with black (called negroe’s then) kids everyday but in those days there was segregation and they had their own school when I was in elementary school. By junior high we went to the same schools but still they were not allowed in the local swimming pool. It has been said before that kids have no prejudice and I feel that is correct. I did, and other friends thought they should be allowed to go with us to the pool. It was not long after that these segregated customs began changing. Even in junior high we had a star football player on our team and after one game about 8 of use with our black friend stopped for ice cream and they wouldn’t allow the black friend to eat his in the shop. We all walked out without accepting out order. Laws have changed drastically but relations are worse.

  17. rose1943

    I think I said earlier on here that, perhaps, our prejudices are learned from our parents. Your “poor white trash” story is an example of that I think…the question is, how do we change these feelings? Does our present environment change anything that was bred in us? Can it? We all say “Live and let live”. And we try. It’s more difficult if we have hurt going on inside that we can’t erase. I guess that’s where faith, belief and religion can come in and help us. Lone, where were you living as a child? Just curious.

    1. LoneRogue

      I’m sure we learn prejudice from our parents but if we think at all we form our own feelings about them. My point all along was that prejudging is not necessarily a bad thing if we take into consideration what people actually are at present. I feel it is done by all of us (prejudging) to some degree all the time. My point is that what we do with it in the present is where it can be a bad and not honest feeling. With all the violent racial acts and hatred committed in the present day is it not foolish to throw caution to the wind?

      I was born and raised and lived until about 30 YO in York, Pennsylvania.