To P/C or not to P/C. That is the question
I know that here on Senior Chatters, most of us feel that courtesy is the ultimate goal in interacting with other members. Some people think that if someone messages you , or posts a response on a post you made, it is imperative that you answer them. People, you have to realize that this is the internet, it is not your kitchen table where you sit with friend over a cup of coffee. When someone messages you and you don’t know them or you have doubts, just DON’T REPLY. If you want to see if they are ok, then either private message them, or accept the private chat with the knowledge that all it takes to disconnect, is a click of the button. But to accept a private chat with someone you don’t know, and some have even accepted a video chat, and then complain that the conversation was inappropriate is ludicrous. There are no monitors in private chat so no one has your back. But for gosh sakes if you DO accept, and it turns out to be a bad experience, copy and paste the conversation to send to admin. We are all adults here and know that “private” chat has the capability to become raunchy but it can only become as raunchy as we allow it to. Private chat is NOT synonymous with dirty talk and online sex. It was meant (on this site at least) to be a place where 2 members can chat without the busy banter of the chat room. But we cannot rely on monitors and admins to police P/C, or it no longer remains private. We all have to take responsibility for our own actions so let’s all just act like the adults we are supposed to be.
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Merryjay allow me to applaud you! ! You’ve said everything I always tried to …but better! Loud and clear …I’ve been a member here for just over 2 years…my main way of communicating it’s always been messaging and private chat…this year I’ve been using blogs and some groups…I rarely venture into the chat rooms…when I get into chat I make sure it is at quiet time when there are only one or two others in there…any more and I excuse myself and leave…the reason …I simply can’t cope…
On private chat I can talk at length about issues of mutual interest with other chatters..and have the most rewarding conversations….I never flirt or talk dirty on pc. Or anywhere…I don’t do it in real life …neither I do it on cyber life …I just don’t like it …it’s not me…and the people I chat with ( men and women ) know that and respect it…I never use video chatting…never did and never will…I don’t even use it within the family …let alone with strangers…I don’t think it’s necessary .
Thank you for an honest…down to earth …simple and clear blog…IT MAKES SENSE TO USE COMMON SENSE …
I need to put my two cents worth in here for what its worth.
I have been a member for over 3 years now, and I have learned one thing first and foremost,,,,GET TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE CHATTING TO BEFORE PRIVATE CHAT!!!
Sure, its great to make new friends, and learn about others, but as Merry said PC is NOT policed, and you have no ultimate protection, only your intuition, but if these scammers are good, which many of them are, they can and will eventually get information out of you that you wouldnt normally give to anyone!
I still only friend people I like and have chatted with in the chat room, and will continue to do so, as you are NOT going to get along with or have something in
common with everyone.
I have a lot of varying interests and hit it off with many on here, but I still keep my friends list on the smaller side, I just couldnt keep up if I have over 400 friends!
I do enjoy PC occasionally if I want to discuss something without disrupting the chat room, as sometimes the interests are of interest to me and the other person, so its out of courtesy I go private.
Although this may be the internet, to some its the only social life some have, so use caution, DONT give out any private information such as email address or phone number unless you are ABSOLUTELY certain the person you are chatting with can be trusted,
Its a matter of common sense and precaution that you need to practice and NEVER let your guard down, I did that once and learned a very hard lesson.
I am not preaching here, just making observations as a lot of chatters here are new to the cyber world and dont know all the dangers, so just PLEASE be careful!!!
Well said Merry, Nmod and Laura, thank you xxx
Yes I agree with everything Merryjay, Nmod, and Laura said. Thank you as you said everything I wanted to say.better than I could. Anne Marie
I also agree with all of the above. It is impossible to befriend everyone on senior chat and we don’t get to communicate with all of those on our friends list any way – I put those that I had met on the old site onto my friends list in the new site because I didn’t want to lose them, but as I don’t go into chat that much now, I don’t get to communicate with a lot of them. I am so grateful for the wonderful friends that I do communicate with and at my age I just couldn’t possibly communicate with a large number as I would be unable to remember them all. Just my 2 cents worth xoxox
Well said all. I agree with Laura on the small list. Befriend them you know. I am one that if I befriend someone and we don’t communicate that often I delete to keep it simple for me. Not that I want to be a snob but to me there’s no reason to have 300 friends and I only really talk to a few.
Keeps the chat life simple lol 🙂
My self imposed rule has been that I never post anything on the internet that I would be upset if it was then printed on the front page of the Newspaper the next day…often I have typed something, then remembered my rule then deleted before I hit ‘enter’…. the rule has kept me safe for many years online..so good blog…thanks
This is such a great concept and to the point. It should be posted in 6 ft. letters above the chat entrance.
Thanks for the discussion. I am quite new to SC and most everything is commonsense, but I like to have it verified. I was brand new here and a gent wanted to take me to a private room. I felt and acted the same way as if it had been in an actual room. I could virtually see the wicked grin. I said that I don’t even know how to get into a private room and have never been asked again. I think the gent and I are now good friends. He was learning also. Face it, a lot of us are older, alone, and need to learn and this is a decent and safe a site as can be created.
Sometimes people lead each other on, like party banter, and lines get crossed, and when you find yourself or others venturing out too far, don’t follow and, maybe, rein them in gently. I do want to say that men have felt the same way as I did so it is a people problem and not just a female problem. Lastly, I do say we do bring our kindness and courtesy to this site, but we come from many settings and we meet as strangers and we must go slowly and feel free to keep a safe distance. I hope that people will see me as I am, and I hope to make friends of diverse values and I believe I can as long as I practice being as kind as possible to all. I would appreciate anyone’s help along the way in doing that.
Just like a big party, one person’s jerk, is another person’s “fun” person. That said, as in real life, there ARE serious consequences for truly unaacceptable behavior and most people learn to act accordingly. So this is a fairly safe and happy place to be. Feel free to set me straight on any of this. I can be wrong.