THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!

Here are five reasons why you should think before you speak – the last one is great!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back….Or that you could crawl in a hole?

Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did….

1st – I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,” How much do you charge for a shampoo and blow job?”

I turned around and went back out and never went back my husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.

2nd – I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.

I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using.

After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good looking gentlemen who works at the store.

He asked if he could help me.

Without thinking, I looked at him and said,” I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

3rd – My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.

As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.

I replied, ‘No, I’m just looking at your nuts.’

My sister started laughing hysterically.

The boy grinned, and I turned beet- red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4th – Have you ever asked a child a question too many times?

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at McDonalds for a quick lunch, in between errands. it was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my burger, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven month old daughter, she was clean.

Then I realised that Danny had not asked to go potty for a while….

I asked him if he needed to go, he said, ‘No’.

I kept thinking, ‘Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.’

Then I said, ‘ Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?’

‘No,’ he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, ‘Danny did you have an accident? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled, ‘ SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!’

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their food laughing, he calmly pulled up his pans and sat down…

An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they had ever had!

5 – This had most of the state of Michigan in America laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in future, likely think before she speaks.

What happens when you predict snow and don’t get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked;

‘ So Bob, where’s the 8 inches you promised me last night?’

Not only did he have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!