Things You’d Love to Say at Work, But Can’t!

“Well aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine?
“Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose.
Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control.
I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for thirty years.
Do they ever shut up on your planet?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
Back off! You’re standing in my aura.
Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.
I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
Wait. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
Earth is full. Go home.
Aw, did I step on your poor little itty bitty ego?
I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
I’m already visualizing duct tape over your mouth.
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
I’ll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter.
How about never? Is never good for you?
What ever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
You’re a good example of why some animals eat their young.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
I’m NOT stressed out. You’re just extremely annoying!
Have a nice day. somewhere else.
🙂 🙂