the significance of siblings

I had a wonderful friend many years ago who was much older than me, and she was constantly providing me with “pearls of wisdom” that at the time I did not take seriously. Today is the ten year anniversary of her passing, and her words have been much on my mind. A few of them, in particular, involved the idea that it is more important for our children to be close to each other, than for us to be close to them. In a day when we are all sharing our children’s photos, and exchanging their successes with each other, its an interesting concept. She was however referring to our mortality, and the fact that we will one day no longer be here, and that as children, our siblings will then be our significant support. I look at the relationship I have with my brother, as well as the dynamic of my own growing children, and have come to respect these words.

Ive always been close to my brother. I was always enamored with his intelligence , talent and kindness. He is currently an ancient history professor at Emory university, travels around the world doing research, is a professional musician. Yet, with me he is my brother. Yes, he was a little insulted I didn’t read his doctoral thesis –or even know its topic–until after I read The Davinci Code. But being my brother, we have a more informal report, which includes the place in our hometown that made the best pizza, what episode of Gilligan’s Island was the funniest, and if either one of us have heard news from old friends of our youth. He currently has taken on a larger role in my mothers care, and it is appreciated. He’s one of my best friends, and I have enormous respect for him.

Then, I look at my three children. They were products of a divorced home, and have not had it easy. Yet they are all steadfast and responsible.

My oldest has aspergers, and we were told at an early age that he would never read. Currently he is putting himself through college with full time employment. He does not drive, but arranges his own transportation. He is diligent about making sure I dont have to mow my lawn, lift heavy boxes, or shovel my driveway.

My daughter is more of a spitfire, taking after me, and has become very comfortable in the role of bossing around her brothers, keeping them in line. She’s an art student who funds her education also by fulltime employment. Shes passionate and protective. She has saved my life at least three times, and is one of my best friends.

My youngest is my surprise, and a blessing! hes a little brainiac who is on a champion robotics team in high school, marches in the band, and spends his spare time reading about politics and religion. I love talking and exchanging ideas with him, and look forward to what his world will hold.

But most of all, I love seeing them together. They are different personalities but somehow mesh when a group. They have a social structure, and my daughter is in charge. They all are different, but value these in each other. I’m so grateful for them in my own life, but even more so for their presence in each others. I’m excited to imagine their holidays together, their visits, and their values, and how they get through troubles together. My friend had a significant point.