Ten Finger Gratitudes
I dont remember which self help book I had this one from. But whenever I need to boost my mood. This is a habit I find very useful. Just look at both hands and tick of ten things that you are grateful for. As many times a day as you need a boost. Left hand; the first five is usually the big stuff. My life, my health, my important people, my home, being safe. Whatever is huge for you. The second hand should be more fun. The small stuff that we dont notice or make an effort to do. Just looking around, be grateful for the sun, the view, your favourite comfy jeans, silly socks or happy pants, pretty nails or ridiculous teeshirt. What ever lifts your mood and makes you happy. The trick is to keep that hand ever changing. As the day goes on, in an irritating queue, just run through that list. Im always grateful that the screaming kid is not mine, and can usually find a few people Im grateful Im not. But also if Im struggling I will plan something, Im really grateful Im going have Salmon for tea or going to start that art project tonight. I find it a really useful prompt to make myself happy. To plan and do as many small things as I can to keep my mood up. I really like getting my nails done because of the number of times I look at them. Just thought Id share. Would love to know what silly stuff makes you happy.
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So this is interesting. Inadvertently I seem to do this on a smaller scale, at least I have been more recently, say the last year or so. One of my considerations about taking early retirement was my expectations of financial things, like how new or nice the car I drive has to be or how expensive our holidays are etc, and the conclusion was that I’m really very happy driving an older car and having inexpensive simple holidays. Another consideration was for how many years do I need to have a money pot to sit on, or rather, how much less do I need or want in years to come, and the answer to that one was that the older I get, the less I will want or need. Simple pleasures will be even simpler. So all in all I am already happy with ‘my lot’ so to speak. Looking around the house, I have my music collection, my HiFi, an old car in the garage, so plenty in the way of material things already. I don’t need anymore and I already have more of that than many people (who perhaps in past years may have prioritised their spending on newer cars for their driveways and lots of foreign holidays) so I feel lucky in that way. I also have a grown up family that can take care of themselves (no great health problems with any of them for which I am eternally grateful) and so no burden on me, and I also have a terrific relationship with all of my five children – and that’s something for which I also consider myself very fortunate. My own health is indeed not too bad, aside from some completely understandable age related ailments, so I feel extremely lucky there as well. So these are some of the big things. Smaller ones? I can walk to the pub from here, ha ha. It might not sound like a lot but think about it for a moment, many people do not live within walking distance so therefore have to rely on some sort of transport and that’s quite an inconvenience. So I have swerved that problem. Similarly a large Morrisons supermarket is a ten minute walk away, which is very convenient and I’m lucky that I never have to worry about running short of anything, even if someone arrives unexpectedly at the house, it’s easy to sort out anything that’s needed. Very easy in fact. Another thing is my proximity to so many nice places nearby. Snowdonia Park, beautiful scenery, Prestatyn and Rhyl for beaches, Liverpool for culture both modern and historic, Chester – a beautiful city, and many many lovely walks and paths around me. I feel lucky that I’ve found a great community online here, with people I can converse with, laugh with and bounce ideas around with, all in such a friendly way. All these things are just off the top of my head without giving much time to really think, so it’s been easy just to reel them off like this. There would be a whole lot more if I wanted to make a proper list, but sitting down and counting ten on ten fingers really wouldn’t be a problem. Daily I do count my blessings though, for sure.
Brilliant response thankyou. We are both so lucky. I used this tip when working in mental health and so many people struggled. Either because of very sad lives or low mood. Inevitably some of them creep into my mind which is no bad thing. Also my basic safety and that of my important people always brings this crazy world into my thoughts. Also no bad thing. Stops me feeling too smug. But we all have a right and responsibility to live the best lives we can.
Im like you, material things are less important and Im happier with much less.
Yes I agree totally about the mental health aspect as well. As you know I am no complete stranger to that topic and have written about it on here previously, but I have learned myself that there are strategies that help to combat some of the negative feelings which I have passed on to others who needed some help. The best one was to put into place things to look forward to. They don’t have to be big things. Small ones are fine, just as long as they are things to look forward to, things that make you happy. It could be planning a trip to visit a loved one, or a day out at a favourite place like a seafront or something like that, or an event that you might be interested in attending, or a trip to the cinema, or a meal in a restaurant…etc. Start off with one thing and then it’s on the Calendar ready, and you can look forward to that happening. Next, add another so that there are a couple of things to look forward to. Then add more when it feels comfortable or right to do so. Eventually there will be a number of things – some that can be recurring – that are all upcoming things to look forward to, and this will then be a stark contrast to where that person might have been beforehand with nothing at all to look forward to and the feeling that life is therefore worthless. I have seen that change occur and it’s a terrific transformation of a person.
Absolutely, there is evidence that the anticipation is actually more mood lifting than the event. Also we are so slow to plan funstuff. Its always behind the chores which can be never ending. I have found if I stress my responsibility to keep myself on good form. It feels less self indulgent. But also I know that nobody else really cares. I can do what I like most of the time these days. Ive no idea what stops me? Habit…laziness?
Love this concept!
Thank you @Cammy 🙏