Tech Support

TECH SUPPORT
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Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my DVD
out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure it’s really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it
yet. It’s still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.

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Tech Support: Click on the ‘MY COMPUTER’ icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

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Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Male Customer: Hi . . . I can’t print.
Tech Support: Would you click on ‘START’ for me and . . .
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me. I’m not Bill Gates!!!

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Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can’t
print. Every time I try, it says . . . ‘CAN’T FIND
PRINTER’. I even lifted the printer and placed it
in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says it can’t find it!!!

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Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.

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Tech Support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11 store.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten
steps backwards.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Wait a
moment please. . . . . . . Ah, that one does work.
Thanks.

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Tech Support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in
apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in Victor, and the number ‘7’.
Customer: Is that ‘7’ in capital letters?

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Customer: I can’t get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the correct password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.

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Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has
placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but,
every time I move my mouse, it disappears.

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Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it.

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer.
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by a window, and his printer is working fine!

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.And last, but not least . . .
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Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don’t have a ‘P’.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: ‘P’ . . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!

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This oughta make you feel better about your computer skills!