she’s a mental case

During this past week, dynamics here have been questioned as ”how can this make you feel bad, as its only a chat room”. However upon review, some things do make me feel bad. I feel bad when my friends are made fun of, and criticized in their absence. I want to defend them. I feel bad when I find that people who have had friendly conversations with me later describe me in a mentally unhealthy light when I’m sleeping.
It makes me question myself. And it makes me question everyone I chat with.
Am I a basket case? am I a mental turnip? who are the people who say these things?
I’m grateful for many things in my life, one of which is knowing myself. I also appreciate the capacity to observe others. I am paid specifically for the question of determination of peoples situations, and their capacity to make such speculation, which is another story. I hope the federal government has not made a mistake on giving me unjustified liberty. However should such a basket case remain in chat?? possibly I’m misplaced.
People come here for fun….. have I outlived that??

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  1. Just an anecdote here. In 1997 I was nominated to be president of our newly formed genealogy group. A gentleman sitting directly in front of me strongly opposed that I should be nominated because, as he pointed his thumb towards me, I didn’t speak good English. It hurt me at the time. After the elections, which I went in as vice-president, some of my friends came over and said, don’t worry about him, he’s just a bigot. I found out later that everyone I talked to knew him as a bigot. To finish, the next year I went in as president and I’m still president today.
    Moral of this story is, sometimes we come across outliers, persons who somehow disturb us. Instead of searching what could be wrong with us, step back and take a look at the big picture; they’re easier to identify.
    Keep blogging.

  2. basket case definition: a person who is helpless or incapable of functioning normally, especially due to overwhelming stress, anxiety, or the like.
    Catalpa – you are definitely NOT a basket case. No reason to question yourself.

  3. What can i say to make you realise your worth Cat??? Firstly your always nice and pleasant whenever i have met you in the chat room. Secondly there will always be those who love talking behind others backs, perhaps because they dont have the guts to do it to their face.or they have an inferiority complex IGNORE THEM they are not even worth thinking of
    Remember you know your worth on the site and so do many others, so keep chatting and whatever else you want to do

  4. Cat – I don’t know you well, perhaps I should have made more of an effort, but from what I recall you are an articulate sensitive and friendly lady. I have experienced a little of what you speak, and some of it here on SC in the past – but I am still here and I very much that you will also continue to be a member of this community. As cefnrider said in his reply; you really have to rise above some of the things that certain people do or say and just be yourself.
    Keep blogging Cat.

  5. Catalpa,, You wrote: (((( During this past week, dynamics here have been questioned as ”how can this make you feel bad, as its only a chat room”. However upon review, some things do make me feel bad. I feel bad when my friends are made fun of, and criticized in their absence. I want to defend them. I feel bad when I find that people who have had friendly conversations with me later describe me in a mentally unhealthy light when I’m sleeping)))). Catalpa back in December of 2015 you wrote that blog about the “Cool Room”,, Just what was you wanting or expecting from the outcome??,, I defended my friends from that blog you wrote about the COOL ROOM,, It was just a room,, Nothing more nothing less,, Was not passworded even,, WAS OPEN TO ANYONE THAT CARED TO JOIN,, Yet you say or ask yourself,,, Am i a basket case?? ,,, Well i do not think that,, Yet I welcomed you CATALPA to S.C with open arms when you first joined,, Gave and treated you with the upmost respect possible,, Yet you stabbed me and my friends in the back over a simple room with a simple name. So what did i do??,,WELL,, I defended not only myself,, But my friends to,,, Yet Catalpa,, You also write: (( People come here for fun….. have I outlived that?? )),, Good point Catalpa indeed,, Am happy you realize that now,,, There is not a soul in S.C. that is better than the next member,, We all put our pants on 1 leg at a time,, Our HEARTS pump blood just like the next person,, We come to S.C. to get away from it all,, Make friends,, Learn from each other,, listen to each other,,Care about each other,, laugh with each other and so on and so on. AND NO,, I DO NOT THINK YOU ARE A BASKETCASE. There are many people in this cruel ole world that may or may not be physically and or mentally fit,, But S.C is 1 place where you should feel welcomed no matter what,, So next time Catalpa if a new TEMPORARY room is made,, Why not come and join?? instead ,, Good chance you will have a great time and or many laughs. AFTER ALL CATALPA,, You wrote: People come here for fun.

    1. Sky, as we both agree many come here for fun, and that is why I’m possibly misplaced. Also, I can’t help but notice this is the first communication u have extended towards me since that ”cool room” episode. thank you for the communication. I dont harbor hard feelings.

      1. Catalpa…. you continue to cling to a perception which may not be serving you well. May I point out YOU were the one who insulted Sky, not the other way around. That “cool room” episode was a perception you and one other person held….and the other person is banned from the site which puts their ability to assimilate into question. The few supporters who blogged in sympathy had no clue what the situation was….they were not there. When you demanded to know why I opened the room I calmly explained that was an option here and it was to include everyone. I went out of my way to apologize to you for your hurt feelings. You rejected outright my apology and continued to say “why why why”….trying to turn it into a big socially significant event. Once again Sky has tried to be nice to you and you have rejected it making it clear you hold no hard feelings about what you perceive to be his error….. Not once have you put yourself in anyone else’s place. You were a newbie who had no clue what was going on but you judged us, insulted us and continue in your erroneous perception thus justifying being rude to Sky once again.

        I like the person all these bloggers on here are talking about….she seems nice and has redeeming qualities but these people have not YET been the target of your cockeyed perception. At the time, all of us pretty well decided to step back and allow you to throw your fit and we did what was best for SC. We refused to do battle with you. I see you continue to not appreciate our not setting you straight in front of the whole site.

        You don’t harbor hard feelings….but you sure are rude.

  6. Cat …. Never ever leave, you are the people a chat room needs, you are so welcoming and friendly to each and everyone who enters the room, you have always made me feel so welcome, and I am so happy when I see you in the room. I do not understand the people who are nice to us whilst here as adults to chat, laugh and make new friends and then act like children in a playground when we are not … Old saying Cat , whilst there are calling us they are leaving someone else alone and even a bigger saying .. we rise above it, as they are the minority and the majority want the fun and friendship a site like this brings. You must stay Cat as the minority will ruin the site and it is people like you that bring everyone together and welcome new people …. we never know what is behind a closed door of someone’s life, they could be extremaly lonely and this site may be there only contact with other people, they may have lost a loved one, they may have mental health problems, but who made us the judges to reject people and decide who joins and enters the room ? impulsive hurtful answers to one person could have a devastating effect on that person, there is a saying .. If someone has nothing nice to say then do not say anything … Its people like you Cat that encourage and keep the new people, and given them a least for life in finding a welcoming room …. I would be so very sad to see such a lovely lady ever leave …. That is you Cat x you are a diamond x

  7. CAT, I hope you’re not seriously considering stepping back from SC. You are one of my favorite contributors here. I have witnessed people denigrate other chatters and have voiced my opinion about it. I have never heard an unkind word about you though. Perhaps it was taken out of context, lets hope so and give the site the benefit of doubt.
    Hope you continue to contribute here on SC.

  8. Just please stay, Cat. Don’t know you well, but enough to know you are bigger than your critic. I don’y know what was said, but I hope you will continue with your fun and contributions. Regards.
    IPS(I did respond previously, but seems my response didnt go on the page)

  9. Catalpa, I am not sure why you are upset but there seems to be some gossip and back stabbing going on. If you feel like defending other people, you should do that. Whoever is telling you what happens while you are sleeping may not be telling the truth and they are definitely a gossip. The inmates may be running the asylum, so who is to know who is the basket case? You seem to be well liked. I find you nice, intelligent and interesting, but I do not know you well. I do know that there are some people who are very dishonest, but that is the way of the world, so don’t take what you have heard from a gossip as a fact. I know people with serious mental issues, but they are not mean spirited or dishonest. People may talk behind your back because they lack the wit to talk to you, so, just consider the sources.

    1. You know roseinbloom…. you verbalized my very reaction…. who is feeding all this negative information that supposedly goes one when cat is not there…. When someone comes to you with negative information about you from others you have to understand not only is honesty in question but also perception. If someone said I was a mental case my perception would get a good laugh and agree. But then I don’t easily find my self perception challenged by idle gossip. These people are not your friends if they are giving you information to upset you. This idea that you “need to know” is just a crap excuse to talk negatively….they are thriving on your upset and getting some sort of charge from it. And they’re your FRIENDS????

      1. The more I think about this the more upsetting I find it. Catalpa do you realize you are not upset about remarks someone did or did not make about you but what in fact upset you is the story you were told by a friend. You don’t know what was said when you were not there and it has no power to hurt you. What hurts is what your friend said. Think about it.

        1. Frankie, I am glad you get my point. Catalpa expressed herself about a room, that is what people should be allowed to do. These people who are mean and dishonest and malicious need to stop.I think that one or two may be causing most of the mischief.

  10. Hello Catalpa – I obviously missed the blog that caused you such unhappiness – on behalf of the person responsible I apologise for causing you so much distress.
    Personally I have never been unfortunate enough to encounter anything other than friendliness anywhere on Chatters, and I do hope you will manage to rise above it – and remember that there are many others who would be
    unhappy at your obvious distress – please stay – your presence is appreciated.
    Kind regards Drummer

  11. the only person where poison is spitting out by the gallon appears to be you FRANKIE As a member of many many years outstanding on this i have seen most things but I must admit not even I have ever seen such rantings and behaviour by a member as you have shown on this blog.
    You might not like a person but to go overboard as you have done is way beyond what i expect in chatters.
    Do what most people do on sites and block or leave well alone.
    As far as I am concerned Catalpa will always be welcome when i am in a room

    1. Cef….you have your right to your opinion and the right to express it. You may notice I am not getting all in a wad over your opinion. That’s because you have expressed the same opinion consistently in all your posts. Those of us who know you consider the source. Those who do not will learn.

  12. frankie no good throwing barbs at me they are completely wasted. People on this site know i say what i think and dont let others try to dictate to me. As for newbies finding out about me unlike some on this site i am an open book and welcome everyone.

  13. Cef, once again, it is a matter of perception. You are the one throwing barbs…. That is my own perception of your style, a barb thrower. Slinging epitaphs without facts. Not knowing the facts involved but emotionally tossing arrows of venom without benefit of facts. You have the right to do that Cef if you choose it as your style. Yes indeed, I know what your reputation is…..do you know mine? That’s a rhetorical question because I am not going to waste time on this… I am going to allow Cef to be Cef, accept him for who he is, appreciate him for his bitter slant….and continue on the high road.

  14. think your last sentence said it all Frankie. Continue on the high road.How santimonious can you get. Most of us just want to continue on the right road and leave it to ppl like you who think they are better than others

  15. namecalling wo all this arguing fighting name calling hate is horrend why are you grownup seniors writing such hateful hateful seems to be lots of mental anger here by author to -authorstarts thread people continue to did on n say hateful hgs this story blog sure title approps – mean words no sense

  16. I must say I agree with you Georg . is such a sad example of mean mean bickering with on going nasty mean comments instead of calm discussion and is not easy readingg .I just lost my mother and the outrageous comments here are disturbing
    thankfully I am round family for support but this blog has made my heart heavy with sadness even further ,very mean things starting from beginning blog author I must agree their to .