SENIORS MEDICINE CABINET

SENIOR’S MEDICINE CABINET
It has taken me many, many months of my retirement time, but I have just finished building my new Medicine Cabinet.
I don’t know about you, but I think it was well worth the time and expense.

Disease Wine Daily dose
Allergies Chardonay de Paeuf 1 glass
Anaemia Graves 4 glasses
Bronchitis Bourgogne or Bordeaux
( + sugar and cinnamon ) 3 cups
Constipation Anjou blanc Vouvray 4 glasses
Coronary arteries Dry Champagne 4 glasses
Diarrhoea Beaujolais Nouveau 4 glasses
Fever Champagne sec 1 bottle
Heart Burgundy, Santenay Rouge 2 glasses
Uric acid (ie gout) Sancerre, Pouilly Fume 4 glasses
Hypertension Alsace, Sancerre 4 glasses
Menopause Saint Emilion 4 glasses
Depression Rhine 4 glasses
Obesity Burgundy 4 glasses
Obesity Rose Provence 1 bottle
Rheumatism Champagne 4 glasses
Excessive weight loss Chateau de Beaune 4 glasses
From the Australian Association
Of Retired People
Q:Where can men over the age of 60 find younger women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under ‘fiction’.
Q:What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done you’ll have a place to live.
Q:How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband? A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q:How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q:Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.
Q:Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with short term memory ?
A: Storing something in memory is not a problem, retrieving it is the problem.
Q:As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.
Q:Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.
Q:Leading cause of diminished sex drive among senior citizens ?
A: Nudity
Q:What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these.”