Sad Memory
A few minutes ago, I was reading a beautiful and sadly in many cases, very true poem Tania had posted about our troops. My memory flashed back to probably one of the saddest stories I ever came across during my 32 years in the Police in London..Near the very end of my career, I was a family liaison officer and dealt as a go – between, the Police, who were investigating accidents, and the families of victims who had been killed or suffered life changing injuries in these accidents. It was one of these jobs whereby, you were in a position to thank God everyday, that you were not in the position of the families or the victim. One day, a report landed on my desk concerning a Falklands veteran. He had been found staggering around a London area and asking passers-by for help. After Police attended, it was obvious something more serious was wrong and to cut a long story short, he had been hit by a bus and had suffered such severe head injuries, that he was not expected to live. This had happened six weeks prior to me getting the file as the the procedure at the time, meant the accident was investigated locally to where it had happened.. I contacted the hospital, and was told that there was a problem trying to find the top of the mans skull. It had been “put in the fridge” (their words) and was lost.Yes lost. Nobody at the hospital could find his skull part which had been removed to relieve pressure on a badly swollen brain. Added to that, the guy had contracted MRSA, and had been moved to a side room where he was effectively left. No visitors, Not because of the illness, but because nobody, it seemed, cared to maybe make a phone call or two. Apart from his meals, which were typical hospital meals. he was visited by doctors once a day and effectively left. No TV, book, anything. I managed to contact his mother, a 80 year old widow living 200 miles out of London.She knew her son was there, but just could not afford the fare and the hotel price to travel down to London to see him. She was distraught at the thought of not seeing her son,who never saw a soul it seemed day in day out, apart from the odd “treatment” or meal. Now I am in no way knocking the NHS here, but something was seriously wrong with this whole situation. I cannot tell you the amount of “charities” I contacted, who could not/would not help once I explained the situation.Don’t get me started on that. I would have lost my job if I had told them straight what I thought of their reactions or policies….. Suffice to say,- It made me VERY wary of where I donate my money after that I tell you, where does it go…? Anyway, I contacted SAAFA, an organisation I only knew of by fluke because I was posted almost next to their office. They promised to send somebody, but mainly relying on volunteers, it would be a while. Meanwhile I armed myself with essentials and took them to the hospital.I was not allowed to see him but was assured they would get to him. I kept in contact with his mum. SAAFA had arranged for her to visit her son and I was over thanked by his mum and on behalf of him, for my generosity,although it was a tiny gesture that I certainly did not do for thanks, but in gratitude for his service and the fact he was a decent person who had fallen on rotten times. After several months, he was discharged and being homeless, went back north to live with his mum. A short time after, I got a very moving letter from a lady who was the soldiers sister and the mums daughter. Mum had sadly passed away suddenly and unexpectedly a few weeks after son returning home and that week, the vet had thrown himself under a train, having tried so hard to cope with, one death too many, as she said.
I often wonder, now we have Help For Heroes and other wonderful organisations, would he have taken a different turning if more help would have been around then.?. It wasn’t that long ago but prior to the wars we are now fighting. Thank God for these Charities. Thank God for SAAFA, who I only knew of by sheer coincidence. Some other established charities I spoke to, I wouldn’t give the time of day.. I often think of this tragedy. The hospital eventually found his skull part in some other hospital would you believe. It had deteriorated to the extent it could not be replaced and he had to make do with some synthetic covering. I wonder how he felt about how he was treated laying in that hospital bed for days on end almost alone, having returned, albeit some years earlier, from serving his country. Very few things affected me during my time in my job, but this is one story I really wished had produced a happy ending.
What a tragic story illgner and what a travesty on society that the men who fight for us are treated in this disgusting way. How horribly let down he must have felt, and I am so glad he had someone like you caring for him and to get his poor mum to see him. Unfortunately it didn’t end well for him, but he did get to see his mum and to see that there was someone who cared about him. God bless you. Take care xoxoxoxoxox
Yes I agree with foreveryoung Illgner what a tragic story. Thank you for sharing that…Ann x x x
That story is so tragic it beggars belief; it’s a good thing there are people in the world like like you illgner. Good on yer. X
It certainly left a mark on me. I never for one second posted it because of the tiny gesture I did but it was a memory that comes back to me from time to time,especially when I read Tanias posts and poems and now it is the anniversary of the Falklands war. Thank God for some of these charities today. Shame on others, who would not help when they always gave the impression of being there for people in need.This mum and son were desperately in need. Thank you all. x
Unfortunately ex servicemen, and servicewomen, are still chucking themselves under trains, hanging themselves in woodland, taking a walk with a shotgun and downing pills they have hoarded for when it all gets too much.
While there is more help now, mostly charities because the bloody government seems to abandon service people as soon as they become ex service people.
During the Falklands and in Belfast we lost mates and we understood that. We knew it could and probably would happen. What gets to me about our “caring society” is the numbers lost since. To depression, to PTSD, to poverty and homelessness, to freezing to death in some quiet corner because they lost their homes to the banks and building societies while the City Traders who bankrupted the country get their massive bonuses.
How many have had to try, like I had to, to explain to an 18 year old girl why her beloved Daddy took a walk with a shotgun and blew his head off?
You tried Illgner, and I laud you for your efforts. Most in the position you were in don’t go that extra few yards. You did. Thank you, Lady.
Same here way from vietnam, we look after some of the veterans and they have horrific stories, a kindness to them makes them cry, not used to kindness xxxx
I found the events in this blog absolutely appalling and the neglect the NHS showed that poor veteran was obscene. To have “lost” part of his skull in the hospital is gross criminal negligence and it really upsets me to hear that this kind of travesty goes on with veterans.
Thank you illgner for caring – obviously no one else did, including all the staff and doctors in that hospital.
Thank you all but I am absolutely sure that any one of you would have done the same thing.It was never about the tiny thing I did, but It was just something that I always think of when I read Tanias poems. The thought of laying in a room, with nothing but your thoughts – God only knows what they were – day in day out , alone and suffering horrendous injuries, with the only “news” coming from very unconcerned members of staff being that your skull piece had still not been located and knowing your family were just a few hundred miles away but couldn’t visit because of the cost, was absolutely horrendous and showed society -and some “charities” at their worse. You are so right Way. Too many ex servicemen are treated as has beens by subsequent Governments and the Forces, although they constantly deny this. I am sure, forever and skippy, you hear such horrendous stories too, regarding ex service people. Sadly, it is often after a tragedy has happened and not before….Jo, after I had taken in exactly what I was being told about the missing part, I asked whether this was a regular occurrence?. Half of it was some sarcasm or disbelief I am not sure which, because I wasn’t sure that I wasn’t being fobbed off by asking a busy nurse for a current update. Her answer staggered me – that it certainly wasn’t unusual for bits (her words) to go missing when a patient is transferred from one hospital to another, especially in Central London.When I said I wasn’t talking about personal possessions, she said neither was she!. The sister of the victim summed up the whole tragedy when she said her brother had tried to deal with “one death too many”.