This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 1970's.
Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger,
though God knows after how many takes.
The irony is, BBC received not one complaint.
T he speed of delivery must have been too much for
the whining herds. Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion.
Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying
poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called
Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks;
they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet
and fatty swannies.
The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the
cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy
fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole
and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a
pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage
with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig
bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back
by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome
hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all
chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out
tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in.. Suddenly,
Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the
slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success
and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the
prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not
difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married.
The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury,
and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!
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