OOPS C 2011 Jojo
Okay, I have a confession to make – I like tall men who are endowed with a nice pair of buns!
I’m not keen on American football, but occasionally watch it on TV just to appreciate those wonderful gluts on full display, in tight football pants, whenever they all go into a huddle – which can’t be too often to my way of thinking! Hey, in my defense, I’m a senior but I’m not dead – or blind for that matter!
So it goes without saying that my husband is tall, and has a very nice pair of buns.
Many years ago, we used to regularly go to a local flea market on Sundays for browsing and buying the odd treasure. The flea market was huge, so, armed with walkie talkies, we’d split up and go our separate ways. When we’d seen and done our all, we’d contact one another on the walkie talkies, meet back at the car and drive home.
On one occasion, some time after we’d taken separate routes around the flea market, I spotted my husband up ahead, bending over, inspecting an article laid out on the ground, amidst many others similarly displayed. His best assets were displayed to maximum viewing advantage and I couldn’t resist making the most of this golden opportunity. I sneaked up on him quietly, grabbed his buns with both hands and whispered huskily in his ear “Nice pair of buns you’ve got there mister.”
He shot up like a bolt of lightening had struck him, quickly turned around – and to my horror, IT WASN’T MY HUSBAND – IT WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER!
OH … MY … GOD!!
To say I was embarrassed would be the hugest understatement in the world! Going crimson in the face, I sputtered heartfelt, profuse apologies, explaining (as best I could) that I’d really REALLY thought he was my husband! Heck (I told him) they were wearing the same coloured pants and shirts! I had visions of being hauled in front of a judge, accused of sexually assaulting a complete stranger – in public moreover! What would my dear children think???
Fortunately, this didn’t happen. The man grinned, winked at me and murmured “My pleasure sweetheart, any time,” which was a huge relief on the one hand, but made me sputter even more apologies, feeling like a complete, blithering idiot!
When I met up with my husband later, I told him what had taken place and he,callous man, laughed his head off! I must admit, I wanted to hit him!
While I’m on this “confessing” steak, I must confess ladies, that if a strange man walked up behind me and grabbed my rear end, telling me some cockamamie story that he could’ve sworn I was his wife, I most probably wouldn’t have been nearly as forgiving as was my tall stranger with a really (and I do mean REALLY) … GREAT pair of buns!!!
Thankfully, I never saw him again!
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Thanx Jo! It took me a minute or two to get up off the floor and get to my P C again but that was a GAS!
Thanks for the courage to share that, and I know that alot of people enjoy that! It might even bring out a “true confessions of the heart” room on here LOL I’d just have to join that one for the purpose of BLACKMAIL! lol There three ministers were discussing their faults to one another one day, and one of hem told that he liked to sneak a peek at the church secretary sitting at her desk when she wasn’t looking. The next told how he loved to call in sick and go out playing golf on sunday mornings once ina while. The third remained very quiet and didn’t offer any faults of his own. Nervously, the two asked him what his weakness was. He blurted out that he was an awful GOSSIP and he couldn’t wait to get home and tell EVERYBODY!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Thanks so much for your comment, pianerman and I loved your joke! I know lots of people like that third minister! lol
Anolther of JoJo priceless vignettes – well done Jose’.
Tony, you know how much I love your writing, so this comment coming from you means the world. Thanks so much!
well being tall and a great ummmmm lets me out lol lol oh boy what a story l love it lol lol love you to jojo lol lol xxx
Thanks so much Johnwharden I really appreciate both your enthusiasm for my story and for me! Very nice indeed! I feel motivated to write more!
last time i heard that one jo jo it was about a car mechanic laid under a car lol!!
Hi Pollie – I’d never heard of the car mechanic laid under a car, and I assume it was a joke that has done the rounds. However, I assure you this happened to ME and it was no joke at the time, although in retrospect it is funny.
Thanks for your comment.
hey jo jo im not doubting you at all and yes i did think it was funny!! and yes the other was a joke that ‘has you say’ had done the rounds!!! 🙂
Thanks again Pollie – glad you enjoyed it.
That was priceless jojo, i was in fits laughing. You have made my day. Thanks so much for my mad moment!!. Well done. :).
Thanks so much for your comment Shadow, as always I really appreciate your comments because you’re a terrific writer yourself.
That is so hysterical. I can just imagine the look on your face (and the look on his).
Oh trust me sunflower, I created a brand new vermillion hue when I blushed, and never have I been at a loss for words as I was while trying to explain my actions to this poor defenseless man who’s only crime was having a great pair of buns that were identical twins to those of my hubby’s!
Thanks so much for your comment.
Jo Jo, Well another great story about your life and really a very funny story.
Thanks so much for your comment AnneMarie – I’m delighted you enjoyed it.
OMG Jo I think that was real embarrasment to both of you but nevertheless you lived through it I couldn’t help but laugh through this story from the get go it was real humor all in all it was very appetizing I digested it very well it was really really tasty.