On my own.

Was a single parent for 12 years. Worked night-shift, to be home for kids to get them off to school. Got little sleep and lost my social life.. I have never recovered. Just moved into a senior community, and like it here.

I still have trouble being around the people in the clubhouse. Everybody has little cliches. Haven't found me one or sure if I want one. My Apt is modest but very comfortable. I downsized to next to nothing. Strangely, I find that a comforting thought. I like this website. Scads of fine folks.


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Published in Home & Family


  1. starlette

    You sound quite happy doing what you are doing, everyone starts somewhere before they feel part of things………always difficult when your a newbie, keep going you will soon get to know peeps……..don’t have to get entwined into their lives if you choose not to…….but at least there is life outside of your apartment and a cuppa or a pint should you ever feel the walls are closing in on you…..

    1. Elysian Post author

      Would have to be coffee.. Swore off the drink.. figured I need my liver and kidney’s more than a martini. Do miss it though!!

  2. jw1953

    I too have recently down sized severely and rid myself of a lot of possessions I deemed unnecessary. I also have been reaching out more to social groups in my age group and have found the same thing , seems people my age like to form small groups or cliques in the larger group. whether I fit in or not I find these groups disheartening . I think they distract from the larger group.

  3. macathy

    I think if you look at life you will find people group together in small groups,no matter what they do.I find the trick is to fit into the place you find most comfortable for you.Me I never liked these clicques so have existed without the need to be part of them.Manage to be happy with my family and doing things I enjoyed doing without the hassle of clicques .

  4. roseinbloom

    Elysian, You have done your job and are retired. It is time to enjoy life. You may not have had time to develop your interests so now you do. Most retirement communities have activities and outings. Do some of them, The women outnumber the men and will be grateful to have the company of a gentleman. Take a walk, get out and don’t focus on the negative. New people are always coming and make friends with them. It is now your time to play and enjoy yourself.Let us know how you are doing later.

  5. Drummer

    Hello Elysian The position you find yourself in is well known to many of we Chatters – The question really is whether or not you wish to remain as you are.

    There are of course many options open to you – probably far too many to mention here, but in short the answer lays in your own hands – you have the choice of getting out and meeting people whether in your own community or outside of it.

    Life is short, so I urge you to make the most of it – get out and meet people – we all need companionship of some sort.
    I wish you well, Kind regards Drummer

    1. Elysian Post author

      ***sigh*** I am a mad scientist of sort. I worked with computers since their infancy. Most people don’t know what the heck I am talking about. Also an artist, poet and musician. Seems there isn’t much call for a renaissance man any more.

  6. Drummer

    I would have thought that with all your talents and interests there must be several options open to you – ever thought of U3A (University of The Third Age) You have so much so much knowledge – so much to offer folk less able than yourself.

  7. ohcarol62

    As the saying goes you can be alone in a room full of people! Infact that is when I feel most lonely.
    Online and 1 to 1 I can chat for England.
    Chat rooms are great but as soon as lots of people come into the room and the chat picks up speed I get dizzy with all the text scrolling , plus I lose where I am up to.

    But what I have found is that most people on here are genuine and sincere. So here is to you and to many many years of happy chatting x

  8. vonMichael

    It took me quite a few years to find out; people are like a safe which is closed most of the time.

    The tools for open it are in my head; speak to them, speak with them in a decent way and one will find the treasure of one is looking for.

  9. Maree

    HI Elysian,

    yes Cliques often exist in all sorts of places.

    Chat isn’t the exception …but sooner or later if you persevere you will find your kind of people …ones maybe with similar interest …out looks opinions etc …or you will find people quite different to you that can teach you something or similar spend pleasant time together
    loneliness is not a crime …so many lonely folk even those that well may appear all together….happy have partner have lives. I think deep down we are all looking for like minded folk …who we click with. Keep on keeping on and I wish you well

  10. Suzan1957

    Elysian, we met I believe on your first day here or perhaps soon after in the chat room. I enjoyed our chat and the room chat with you very much. You seemed intelligent and very interesting. I don’t think you should or would have any problems around people. I think you need to open yourself up to some new experiences. Perhaps Senior Chatters is one.