This blog kind of follows on from LoneRogue's last blog and some of the replies it inspired. We all know that sometimes 'the home' is perhaps the only answer. That said most people view the notion with distaste. Number one it is not 'a home', not your home. You will have to fit into an alien time table, go to bed when they want you to, eat what they want you to and when they want you to. You will be expected to play cards, watch the TV programs that everyone else wants, or the channel the staff chose and no one can change it.
Then all those worthy people who will come and "entertain" bless their hearts and I really do bless them. I've never sought to find sing-along groups to join in my life so why at 70-80s should I suddenly want to? I would much prefer to live alone even if it were a little dangerous for me to do so, I'll take the risk. Allow me do my own thing, I'd like the radio, TV, computer and an animal companion. The odd visitation from a live person will keep me going. That is fine for me with my personality.
Other people have much greater need of human interaction and I feel for them if loneliness is forced upon them because it works against their personality and they will be unhappy. Too often authority and relatives force an elderly person into care because it suits them, not the elderly person. They don't want to feel guilty if anything should happen to an old person on their own, they don't even want to have to think about the old person, so let's put them in a "deposit box" and then we do not have to think. I will repeat, I do recognize that sometimes the 'depository', is the best place for various reasons but not always.
On the other hand a very outgoing social type of person may well love living in a home. It would be nice if there were more help available to help an independent type. I think self drive cars will be a wonderful thing for the elderly, so please engineers, get on with them please. So long as a person is functioning I think they have a right to chose their life style. All this was brought mind when a male friend of mine was made to feel so guilty about living alone , by his relatives, that he eventually went in a local home. He is miserable and is losing interest in life. He misses his cat, he misses his little vegetable garden. He was fit for his age and he had things to do. I got to know him because he asked me to teach him how to paint watercolours. Not allowed to paint in the home?! Relatives that live a distance away like to think of him "safe" in the home, it makes them feel good.