I have been pondering over a comment made on a blog.

Most of you will not know that I am carer for one of my girls.When she was born prematurely she was given five days(if lucky) to live. She was six weeks premature,...she had a complete blockage of her nasal passages, and  had to breathe through her mouth. As a baby has no control over it't tongue, this is a huge problem.The operation she needed could not be carried out until she was four years old as the bones that need drilling through as not hard until that time, and it is a one chance operation.

We did manage to struggle through some very hard times with her, as if she so much as caught a cold, she would stop breathing. Nevertheless, we made it through, and apart from not being able to handle money, time, cooking, and transport, she is the same as any of us.

Now a few years ago, my daughter had a breakdown, and we did not know which way to turn, eventually we got her to see a psychiatrist, and there were other problems that arose with her.

We had six month's of uncertainty with her, but luckily she was okay in the end.

Did I come on here for people to help me?

No I did not, I came on this site as a kind of escapism to have a laugh and chat, and to get away from problems.

We can chat to people, try to understand people, and help people through bad times, as have done on this site...but some people need professional help, and we cannot do anything about that.

I never wanted people to help me as there was very little they could do.I just wanted their company,(if you will) but problems have to be sorted by ourselves.

I feel very lucky to have friends on here.I get some laughs , and some interesting reads.

Thank you all.


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Published in Senior Chatters


  1. happysailor1

    I think that I understand what you are posting here. I can not and will only speak for me.
    I am here because I enjoy, meeting, associating and exchanging with Men and Women in my age bracket. I am not focused on finding a replacement for my wife. This is irreplaceable.
    I have always enjoyed interacting with people, young and older. But I am totally committed to my ethics, in that truth, honesty, and respect for me, rule. So many sites do not check this and that is sad. To me, deceit, scamming, however, it’s defined, is not how I wish to be seen.
    I was raised to believe that a person`s word is his bond, his honor. Anything less does not exist for me.
    The idea of finding something more the just friendship exists everywhere, and honestly would consider something more with the right individual but being an old Country Boy, I have learned patience.
    I have made several friends here, and look forward to building these new friendships to higher levels.

    1. tania Post author

      Thank you, Sailor, I am not looking for a relationship either, I just enjoy, posting blogs, reading blogs ect , having a chat with friends and a laugh.
      All I am saying is that some people you can help through a hard time whatever, but others you just cannot help, however hard you try.
      Thank you for your response

  2. happysailor1

    Many may not understand my usage of radio type answers such as 10-4 ( CB codes ) or alpha codes used by Police Fire/Rescuse/ Maritime, but those in my life are as standard as breathing for me sorry but this is fact. I think that many times friends or people see this and maybe wonder what the heck is this dude saying?… Really it is meant to be clandestine, it’s just more that I can not help it.
    So to your comment I say: Copy= understand, on your 6 = I am behind you

  3. waylander

    I agree Tania. As a chat site we can perhaps lift someone’s mood, give them a laugh or make them smile, but in no way is a site like this equipped, nor its members (for the most part) trained to cope with someone who has real problems be they mental or physical. I remember commenting in the chat room a few years back that a member, having admitted to serious problems with depression should be advised to seek proper professional help, not subjected to “home remedies”

    1. tania Post author

      Thank you for your input, Waylander. I would never try to help someone who had certain issues.I kept the problems we had to myself, and as I said just came online to escape real life for a while, if you understand.I still did my job, just needed some my time lol

  4. starlette

    Hello Tania….having worked in homes for people with earning difficulties I know how hard life can be for the families, and even harder for them when the time comes for them to let them go into care, either through illness or ageing…….I remember one mother who got ill through cancer but recovered, when her son still lived at home she made a point of going to play Bridge once a week and totally focus on her evening out, no spending the evening chatting about her son who she loved dearly……this was her time to relax away from the daily problems which arose with her son……she always felt guilty because she knew her other son missed out somewhat because of the time she had to give to her disabled son…….may you continue to enjoy your time on Senior Chatters….xx

    1. tania Post author

      Hi Star, Thank you for that story.My son will take over from my hubby and I when we can no longer do this.Well I am carer and Hubby is not too well at the moment…but Hey! I escape to this site, and will continue to do so for as long as I can, I love my friends on here……xx

  5. drummer

    Your current blog is a classic example of what Chatters blogs are really about for it does make it possible for us to share our inner thoughts – people matter should be a sub-titles on our headings. We are able to share our thoughts on almost every subject.

  6. happysailor1

    Yes, Tania, and drummer;
    Star; I hope we can FB.
    Tania words and ok actions are stronger, actions even more effective.
    Aly only time could maybe

  7. happysailor1

    2000- 2010-
    Tania Waylander, drummer
    2010 2011-
    Tania Waylander, drummer

    2015 –
    Tania Waylander, drummer
    201 8 ++ > >heute

  8. happysailor1

    Tania have you ever had a bad hair day? Well, Very bad Day the hair bit me on the behind.
    The day started like any other. Coffee, toast, looking over the railing of patio hoping to get a glance from my lady friend 2 floors below me. We have been doing this for the last 16 years. I call down and tell her how sexy she looks and she looks up and tells me that she will ask her hubby if he agrees and if not then she will be all mine. Funny, she is over 80 and her big hubby passed 2 years before and my wife one year later. Bartie always told mine that if she wanted to trade she was willing only with a 100 bill too
    I became a very official letter from the FAA( Federal Avi Admin ) that stated that my Pilots License is being considered for revocation due to my revocation of citizenship. Ok, I flipped…..and it just went from one level to another.
    Now all is well to a point. Happysailor will sail again maybe

    1. tania Post author

      Ha Ha..who needs to worry about bad hair days, with you to make us all laugh…I hope Happy Sailor keeps sailing..Thank you

  9. annemarie

    Tania, I joined S.C. in 2010 right after I got my first laptop computer and google senior chat sites and Senior Chatters came up and so I signed on for the free 14 days and decided to join and have not been sorry I did . I had lost my husband in 1993 and in 95 had moved back to Timonium, Md. where I had lived as my daughter lived here and she had just had Ryan in 93 and my husband and I had moved to Fremont, Ca. in 83 as he took a job with Apple Comuputer . So S.C. has been a wonderful chat site and have enjoyed making new friends from other countries and glad to have meet you and enjoy all you blogs that you post on here . I know that being a carer is not an easy job but like you said you have taken care of your daughter and am sure know she is lucky to have you as her Mother . Thank you for sharing this about being a carer .

    1. tania Post author

      Thank you, Marie, you have been a long time friend, I noticed that our profiles seem to have changed our dates as to when we joined…it must have been as the sites changed.