MY NEW BEGINNING
The sun is shining lovely blue sky ,clouds are just rolling smoothly across the heavens, strolling along the road as if there is nothing in this world that could interrupt it.This life is good,have everything i need to make my life happy THEN .
I woke up one morning my world had changed ,as my husband had died ,THis is not about his death but about my beginning.so the world i knew was finished , I now had to find a new one .
Plenty of you have been down this path,so we know its hard ,takes its time ,and no amount of hurrying will make it pass any faster.The sadness, loneliness ,the feeling of anger at being left ,all go through you ,but there comes a time when a little light shines through the darkness,just a glimmer of light ,then it fades ,but like the sun it comes again when you least expect it ,just a small light ,it makes you sit up and think “oh what was that?
What it was ,was the thought, that you have to get on with life
”Oh my God what life I have none now, everything i did was with my husband for 36 years :
.Of course we didn’t do everything together ,but he was my best friend ,my partner ,my confident ,the person I talked to when i needed to make a decision.He was my other side now it was just me!
“Me ,I can do anything I want”I tell myself ,anything but what ?
I found a computer or an iPad with my built in gremlin as I say and started traveling around cyber world.My iPad car was great I could go to lots of places .shopping I loved the little arcades I found down little back streets,turning things over for hours and hours.parcels arrived at my door most every day.I filled my days looking things up on the internet for the grandkids , this was amazing I found myself in all sorts of places,some I have no idea how I got there, and worried weather this gremlin was definitely a devious thing, as the sites were not what I had planned to see ?
Friends were still missing as I moved house ,now one day I happened upon chat for over fifties ,oh I had heard of chat sites but me on one ! no never ,but my gremlin took me to it and I tried to get in ,filled out the profile and .Timidly I clicked on it and entered .What is this moving so fast, someone said “hi mac “,oh is that me,I said “ hi back, :” not so bad.
I read what was being said hard to follow ,but decided I would answer that person, typing away look up ,where has the comment gone I was answering .oh well delete it .try again .
I persevered with this chat room and found it got better as I came in more ,it was still very hard to understand things, confusion reigns in these places,but I found I was being taken back time and time again ,seemed to have a mind of its own my gremlin .I eventually learned to keep up and even got to talk a little.I even started to spar back with some .I found some were very easy to talk to ,others seemed to talk to certain ones ,was as if you didn’t exist.But my gremlin woke me up and took me there each day.
I found that I was wanting to talk to people again ,that life was not just a feeling of get up and do what ever needed to be done.no my gremlin was winking at me saying
“Come on lets go to chatters ,just to see who is there,come on just five minutes”
and yes i always gave in time and again ,but I found I was spending more and more time there each time i went in. I was looking to talk to certain people as they were friendly, good fun,and I loved it there.
I have made lots of good friends in this wonderful site of chatters ,they are the best thing that has happened to me, I thank my gremlin for leading me down this path,and in senior chatters there are many paths to go down.I have been down many roads in this cyber world ,and I know there are many more to find. This.world is a very fragile one ,it only takes a snub,wrong word,someone taking things the wrong way, for people to be upset ,feel left out and very hurt.I keep telling myself
“They are not real .you cant feel like this its a computer “ but deep down I know its real .I have genuine feelings about the people on the other end of my gremlin.Yes I have had people hurt me ,hurt me a lot ,I hope I have not hurt anyone by things i have said,if I have I apologise to
o you humbly . but I still come back as its a world that has intrigued me ,has given me back my will to want to live life again,and I thank it and you others, on the other end of my gremlin for this gift of friendship ,and hope that I can give this gift to others as well as receive it from you.
Wonderful blog macathy of how your gremlin brought you to SC. I am also very grateful that I found SC and made all the wonderful friends that I have. I must try and go to the Chat Room more often 🙂
Thanks foreveryoung2 glad to have met you ,yes come in its good.
Darling darling Mac…you have made me cry.,but hey whats new?..I am soo pleased that your gremlin persisted….so happy that you found us. I will not even try to say I understand about your loss..because I have not had that particular one. I too am so happy that I found this site. Initially I came on to chat…I already have many friends, but we had relocated so my contact is mainly by phone….its not so easy to pop and see them…..and I found the same…extraordinary… how can get so close to some people…..even though we know we may never meet them…quite exraordinary….amazing beautiful people like you Mac..and others who have so enriched my life. Also it has opened my eyes to see just how many people need a friend. Of course we will not get close to everyone…that’s unrealistic….but we can build on what we have with the ones who are our friends…thankyou thankyou Mac for letting me into your life…
much love
the listener
XXXXXXXX M
No thank you Morv for being a true friend ,and no we won’t be able to know everyone ,but I hope that the ones I do know ,will feel better for the experience,as I know I will be. Thanks for helping to make this place what it is a wonderful experience.
Mac, I would like to shake the gremlins hand for bringing you to chatters. I am so glad you joined. You are a pleasure to chat to. I hope life it getting better and better every day for you. Take care
Jan xoxox
Gran shake my gremlins hand as I would too,but too busy trying to teach him to spell Aussie .So pleased to have met you too gran thanks for friendship.
Dear Mac, what a moving blog, congratulations on your courage on your own. Senior chatters is even better because of you and i look for you every day, I too hope things get better and better for you every day, love always skipxxx
Skip senior chatters is only what it is ,because of people like you who care for others thanks .I love the fun we all have together,lets continue to enjoy and welcome others, so they can experience some of the joy as well.
Oh Mac, what a wonderfull bog, I’m also happy you joined in SC and I to know if your in there you’ll always welcome me ~ see I’m even wanting to copy your colour font!!!…every day Mac is another step….well done you!!!
debz
xxx
I’m sorry for your loss, mac.
You have written some fascinating blogs up to now. This blog could very well have come from your own diary; it is so personal.
One word came to mind while reading; hope. I wish that everyone can find hope in their lives as you do mac.
I am glad to be your friend.
David
David I love the friendship we have developed over the time I have been here thanks.I really wanted to write this as my change of direction ,in myself ,I was doing the things that needed to be done ,but I wasn’t involved if you know what I mean .It was my awakening to myself I wanted to show, my return to life.
Oh Mac, what a wonderfull blog……an insperation…
I’m also happy you joined in SC and I to know if your in there you’ll always welcome me ~ see I’m even wanting to copy your colour font!!!…every day Mac is another step….well done you!!!
debz
xxx
You beautiful person ,but you are only getting one reply lol.Thanks for those words I apriciate them ,I think that If I have done one thing good in here, then it’s try to make people feel welcome in chat.I am happy then xxxxx .
and you always do make people welcome mac!!!
psst I posted x 2 as spelling error ~ but forgot to delete the first one!!!….its the chat room it confusues me sometimes!! xxx
I have been waiting a long time to read a blog like you posted mac. Believe me you will never know how much you have helped me, and for that i thank you from the bottom of my heart….i know our friendship has been very elusive! my fault entirely but i do read everything you write on here and elsewhere!. God Bless you always mac. xx
Shadow not your fault anymore than mine I will endeavour to make it a better one again ok.thanks for all you posts and blogs ,they kept me coming back, ,me and my gremlin to see what you had written,and we still can’t spell lol !
I think you have given me more than I have to you xxxxxxxxxxxx .come visit chat I loved it that time I ran into you hahaha .
Wonderful blog Mac and how true. We’ve all been through our hard times and it’s great on SC that there are people who can understand what we’re talking about. I don’t get on chat much, and I’m sure that’s a great way to talk to people, but I do enjoy the comments and interactions on the rest of the site. There’s a lot of compassion here!
Sunflower so true ,lovely people and it’s good to know that someone will listen if you want,I enjoy all your work on here it’s what makes the site so good ,people can be indivuals .Thanks for everything and your comment.
Dear Mac,
Im so happy u found us,u are a genuine lovely person,and we are the fortunate ones,so say thanks to them gremlins of yours from all ur friends on here.
Moggs thanks and that gremlin is my favourite person.,but not when he cocks up all the names as he won’t learn Kats now lol she is a hat .
Thanks for all the times you have cheered me up and not know it xxxxx
Mac what a heartfelt post. TY for putting up with my heathen kidding and making such a grand contribution to SC. You are a big part of why it is a fun place to belong. You are a very special daughter of the Southern Cross. OB
Old thank you for your coment,I enjoy you heathen kidding as you call it .andthis site has lots more just like me ,you especially why I fit in so well lol .
Cathy, Really enjoyed reading your blog and thanks for sharing some of your life with all of us here on S.C. Marie
Marie thanks for reading it ,and thanks for being a part of my new beginning ,I value your friendship very muchxxxxxx .
…Mac, what a beautiful post, thoroughly enjoyed this. So clever, and touching. Bless your heart.
Gee kate you found me lol thanks for .