Mothers. Love em or hate em you only get one.

Two years ago today my Mum crossed the rainbow bridge. She wasn’t particularly ill when she died aged 85. She just passed away in her sleep. Loads of people wish this would happen to them instead of a long lingering death. But the shock to the people left behind is well, for want of a better word shocking.
I was surprised at the time but found it really hard to grieve as I hadn’t seen her for two years. We talked occasionally (Birthday and Christmas) when I phoned her.
This wasn’t because of any argument or such. She just wasn’t a social person. When we were kids she always said when we had all left home and she was old she would become a hermit and she did. Like it or not I had to accept her decisions and did.
In all that time of separation and since she died there was never a question in my mind that we both loved each other but were different people.
I sometimes feel her with me. Smiling or giving advice which was usually hysterical, cos she didn’t know what she was talking about.
I hope her soul is happy where ever it is.
sorry for being so maudling. XXX

Recommend0 recommendationsPublished in Senior Chatters

Related Articles

Responses

  1. Blinker you respected her wishes for privacy, don’t see what else you could have done, maybe subconsciously you have been grieving over the past two years after losing virtually all contact with her, who knows, grief takes many forms…..but she knew you were there for her if she ever needed you, like you say you never doubted each other’s love, she lives on in your heart and memories, sure she is happy and content in this knowledge….xx

  2. Waylander, summed it up very well. but the relationship sounds complicated to me and I hear mixed messages. I am grateful that my mother came to terms when I was in my twenties and I am also grateful that I visited her a few months before she died. I still was sad when she died and still am because I thought she could have lived longer with better medical care; she was only 65, but she died cleaning house, making baby clothes and on her own terms, I hope you come to terms because memories can haunt us for years and I know that wishing my mother had lived longer. My parents never said anything to make us feel that they did not want us around. We could go home anytime and be welcome. My parents were country people and their life was their children and family and the prodgigal child could always come home. I guess I was lucky.

    1. Families are always complicated Rose. That’s why I put about being maudlin at the bottom. I was trying not to be but it sounds it all the same.
      At least I wasn’t the prodigal child. That was a brother and he was always welcomed home.

  3. A mother-daughter relationship it’s difficult sometimes . I had a love hate relationship with my mum , for most of my adult life .
    I can’t explain why ,although I thought I had reasons , they are still not valid enough ,as none of my brothers or sisters admit they felt the same .
    However they were always arguing with each other.
    My mom was a good mother , I know she loved us and sacrificed her life for us seven children .
    But she was not a happy person ,she felt trapped an she hated it . And she would not hide it , she never hesitated to tell us that she would have “preferred to be dead than to live such a miserable life ”
    Her words repeated to us almost daily . I loved my mum but hated the way she was , if that makes any sense .
    She died 15 years ago , she had a stroke and died within a week , I didn’t make it in time to see her ,but I know that she named all of us her 7 children and my father , on her last breath . My eldest sister was with her .

  4. Every-body has to die. The trouble is that we are not prepared for it because we hide away from death in the West and pretend that it isn’t going to happen, probably self preservation more than anything and to prevent having perceptual outbreaks of anxiety. If you live past 50 you will have experienced a lot of things and will have enjoyed the best that life has to offer. It raises the question of would you like to live a life like a legend has and die young (Lennon, Elvis, Mercury types) or would you like to just be ordinary and live until your at least 85.

  5. Hi nightowl, think that all depends on how you define the word “live”……..you can be alive and not living as such………always the quality of your life and not the quantity……….all celebs don’t die young, some do because of their lifestyle, as do we ordinary mortals…….and some are taken far to soon as was my hero Lennon, shot by a nut job walking the streets…….