Mom and Dad

I am the second of five children in an traditional old Southern family. We grew up saying yes ma’am and no sir. We knew that disrespecting our parents would result in a harsh rebuke, but even worse, seeing the disappointment on the faces of Mom and Dad. We grew up in a disciplined household but rather than spankings or hard words, we were taught that doing the wrong thing meant dealing with consequences.

When I was 14 years old and in Junior High School, we had just moved into town from a small community in the country and began going to a new church. One day, this gorgeous boy asked me if I would go to the County Fair with him. He was 16 years old and had his own car and everything. Of course I knew what my parents’ answer would be. “you are too young to date” “he is too old for you” “HIS OWN CAR? get real” As it turns out my mom had met his mom in Sunday School and it seems they had been classmates in school back in the dark ages. When I asked her if I could go, she and Daddy said “when you are of an age that you want to date, and when someone want’s to take you out, then you are old enough, provided we have met the boy and know he is a proper gentleman.”

So my first date, at the age of 14 was with Bobby. When Bobby asked my parents what time they wanted me home, to my amazement they shook his hand and said “use your own judgement, but if your judgement proves bad, next time we will use OUR judgement. We went to the fair with his brother and his date, and had a wonderful time. When I got home, Mom and Dad were in their bedroom, not standing in the living room wanting an accounting for every minute I had been gone. As I passed their door I hear Daddy say, “see, she is home safe and sound and at a reasonable time. You can go to sleep now dear.”

I continued to date Bobby all through high school, but if my grades slipped or I committed some unallowed infraction of the rules, I would be “grounded” and not allowed to go out. Bobby did as much to see that I did not break the rules as my parents did. LOL

Throughout my life, whenever I had decisions to make, I would ask my parents for their advice. They would patiently point out the “pros” and “cons” of the situation, but ultimately they said I had to rely on my own instincts to make the decision.

Today I am a strong, self-decisive woman. Not to say I have not made mistakes and bad decisions in my life but then who has not? When I have a decision to make, I spend whatever time necessary pondering the whole picture. Once I have chosen the path I will take, if it is good, I have a sense of accomplishment. It it turns out badly, I try to assess why I made that decision, and to realize that although I made a bad decision, it was now up to me to either undo it or to make the best of a bad situation.

I am so blessed to have both of my parents still with me. Dad is 90 and blind, and in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s, and Mom is 84, with an old back injury that causes her constant chronic pain. I have a sister and 3 brothers, all of whom live locally. My parents live with my sister, a single mom of a 19 year old college student and she carries the biggest part of the load of caring for our folks. But as a family we are so blessed because all 5 of us siblings are not only brothers and sisters, but true friends, and all 5 of us want to do whatever we can to help care for our parents.

I see so many elderly folks who have no one in their lives who care. Their children might pay the bill at the “home” or pay someone to take care of them, but they don’t have contact with the very children whom they spent their lives caring for.

I hope everyone out there who is still blessed enough to have their parents, or even brothers and sisters or anyone who has been a part of your life growing up, will take the time to let those people know what they have meant in your lives. The day will arrive when you will no longer have that opportunity.

I love you so much Mommy, Daddy, Darlyn, Skip, Randy and Jodie.

Your daughter/sister,
Penny (MerryJay)