Memory deterioration – is it fair?

Hi everyone. I'm finding it quite difficult dealing with the aging process of my folks. They are both 78 this year and before retirement, they were science academics - meaning (in my opinion), they used their brains a lot. I really think that it is not fair that, people with sound brains have to go through sometimes embarrassing situations because of their forgetfulness as they age. Totally not on. Yes...I know I have to deal with it but it is really getting to me. Am I in denial or what? Interestingly, my Mom knows that she is forgetful and it annoys her a lot. She was recently diagnosed with very early stage of dementia and she is on medication. Am helping her a lot with brain exercises (puzzles, etc) and she reads a lot as well as take walks. But sometimes, she just wants to sit and do nothing, which is totally unusual. She has her good days and today, when I talked to her telephonically (we not in the same town) about something, she lost her temper for some unknown reason. I have been reading about dealing with dementia/alzheimers and this is one of the symptoms. This is tough. I just needed to jot down my thoughts....I guess the only way to deal with it.
My Dad, on the other hand, is very oblivious to anything. Just sits in his chair the whole day - watching the day go by, reading, watching tv....just parking. This was once someone who was up and about, doing this and that, but now? Total zilch!!!!! I guess I am experiencing, first hand, the woes of aging. Challenging to say the least.

Why are we not allowed to age gracefully?

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Published in Senior Health


  1. laurie

    Why indeed Cappy? Thank you for your thoughtful and moving blog. Both my ex-husband’s parents had Alzheimer’s so I have some idea of what you are experiencing. Best wishes for your Mom and you and your Dad too.

  2. cefnrider

    my friend, very few alas can get the pleasure of growing old gracefully as our mental and medical problems get worse every year. It is more difficult for the children to understand because they have seen us in our prime and full of the joys of life and everyday living. I am sure at the moment when they are going thru such tough times they just want to see a daughter who is there just to comfor t and love them. Take care

    1. cappy123 Post author

      Hi Cefn ….xxx…..yes ….my point exactly! It’s as if it should not be, you know what I mean?….like the aging process should just freeze as some point. Thanks for your well wishes. I’m in touch with done all the time (always been) – and I visited them for a whole month last month and they’ll be seeing my pretty face again during the December/Christmas/Hols. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  3. Pete

    If you want to know more about dementia I would suggest that you follow this link It will take to the University of Tasmania free on line course ‘Understanding Dementia’. It is absolutely free and goes for 9 weeks starting on 13 October 2014. The course was run earlier this year with 25000 enrolments from over 90 countries.

    1. cappy123 Post author

      Thanks a million, Pete – I really appreciate this info – will have a look later. Am sure this will help a lot to come to terms with any eventuality. Like I said, very early stages – cant fathom what it would be like later. Life, hey? Not as if I didn’t know what it is all about – just hits home when it is happening in your own backyard.!

  4. starlette

    Life can be so very cruel at times………a double blow for you Cappy with both your parents showing signs of Dementia………….to see once bright, alert intelligent people deteriorate is heartbreaking………..not a lot you can do Cappy except to oversee their welfare and safety, ensure all the correct procedures are in place, when and if needed……….hope you get plenty of help and support, do look after yourself too…….Take Care my friend….xx

    1. cappy123 Post author

      Yes – thanks a lot Star. πŸ™‚ My family (extended as well) is huge – and support is great. It’s just my ‘internal’ battles in trying to deal with the reality of it all. I believe I have a very strong personality, but this is kinda weakening me somewhat! Too close to home. πŸ™ Blogging, I find, is helping a lot. πŸ™‚

  5. Pete

    Also another source of information and support is a facebook group ‘Memory People’. This was started by Rick Phelps who was diagnosed with younger onset dementia at the age of 57. Also read his book ‘While I Still Can’ available as an e-book from Amazon.

  6. roseinbloom

    Cappy,I know it is hard for you, but I hope you will find the support and practical help you need to deal with the coming years. Thank you pete for the information.There is help out there, cappy.

  7. patak

    Cappy no it’s not fair it’s so emotionally draining and brings so much sadness into people’s lives, be strong and just do your best.

  8. lani36

    Hard boat to row Cappy, especially when they have had such brillliant creers… hope for the future is about all I can say ,,, ((((hugs))) to