LIVING WITH A PAIN IN THE ASSpiration
Who would have ever thought that I, Paul, piernaman, would ever be sitting here getting my jollies from reading bolgs and writing out of my tortured mind?! I have always been so active and involved in so many projects that virus couldn’t even keep up with me! It couldn’t catch me! I didn’t worry about anything but how to fit this piece of wood with that piece and what to do with it when I finished! If I wasn’t wood working then I was performing with Kev somewhere, and if I wasn’t doing that then I was riding my motor cycle out in the countrside enjoying the fragrance of Magnolia trees and road kill! When I got out of bed in the morning and thanked my Lord for another day to be alive, I was immediately in a time warp that didn’t end until I was going back to the bed and saying, “Amen!”
Along the way I’ve heard people refer to their own personal pain as “My friend”. I thought to myself, “has your coo coo left it’s clock? Have your brainey birds taken flight? Have you bumped your head hard? That didn’t even EVEN make sense! Pain = Friend? Now, I can understand the inverse portion of that formula. Friends = Pain (in the *** sometimes) but not Pain = Friends. That is, until I got this whateveritis. No body seems to know, precisely! It’s like a flippin ghost. It’s here one moment and there the next, you ;can’t catch the dam thing! But in the “end” that’s exactly where it ends up settling down! In the “END”. My butt! Call it what you like! (You haven’t seen mine so you wouldn’t know what to call it!) ……(My wife HAS SEEN IT, bless her heart, and SHE doesn’t know what to call it!) Freak of Nature? Whatever! Anywaze, the arse is MINE! 🙂 And it aches! Aand it Aches! And it ..have I said that before? IT ACHES! The Dr. took a looky at it, and know what he told me? “Any ass that looks like that one OUGHT TO ACHE!” I reminded the Dr. that when I was born I came out and before the Dr. slapped me I SLAPPED HIM! Did he want to be the second one? I’ve been to the Cracker Practor, the Orthopeedust, The VA (God forgive them they know not what they do!) The next thing I’ll do is go to Haiti ana have some VOODOO Dr. shake the bone dust of an aardvark and the whiskers from an aomeba over my aching arse. (I’ll try to say it politely for you ladies heh heh heh) Though I’ve heard you say it a time or two yerselves!
So, after a while, when the pain just doesn’t go away, and you’re tired of taking medications that make ou see pink poodles do the can can, you finally decide that what little sense you do have you want to keep. Know what I mean here anybody? You take these PERCO CETS and you feel anything but PERKY! 🙁 And you start to get JERKY! And you’re acting somewhat QUIRKY! and your countenance is very MURKY! I’ll quit.
So I gave the perks to the family youngsters and they swollowed it with some beer and had a good time….Naw, I didn’t do that really…They’re still up in the cabinet. I came to a decision, that I don’t want to lose myself in the remedy, because it isn’t even a remedy. I don’t fault those who must, I can only sympathize with them not judge them. Eveeryone is different. But I’ve come to know this pain and I try not to let it become me! My Dr. asked me the other day at what level my pain was? I told him it is at the level that when someone asks me what level it is I want to LEVEL THEM! He said he understood. I don’t think so. Let’s trade places. Here! I’ll inflict some pain on you and you tell me! That’s the difference between SYMPATHY and EMPATHY! I’ve always loved to share! 🙂 It feel as if someone has taken a hypodermic needle and injedted BATTERY ACID into my buttocks! I’m measuring 50 VOLTS DC so don’t come ear me! If your car breaks down I’ll lay one hand over the positive and the other the negative and save you a quarter for the phone! All thanks to my BLESSED ASSurance!So far I’ve called it a lot of things, but I haven’t called it “FRIEND”.
You have a way with words and I certainly admire your sense of humor while describing what appears to be a real and definite pain in the rear..lol. From the bottom of my heart I pray and hope that you can finally tackle the problem and get rid of your pain. Please get well soon!!!!
Loved this post Pianerman. I know exactly how you feel. People can not undertand why I take minimim pain killers and have said to me, “your back cant be that bad then”.. I am in agony most hours of the day but like you if I take the meds I am in la la land. I still do lots of active things and push through the pain. I know that is not for everyone but if I dont I would just sit around the house and do nothing for the rest of my life. I would rather be in pain and be doing something with my life than take meds that make me more crazier than I already am lol Thats just my opinion and its not for everybody.
I do the same as you gran – my spine is shot but nothing can be done except major surgery and doctors can’t guarantee a good outcome, so like you I put up with the pain in my back, and only take painkillers when it becomes excruciatingly painful. I am having a knee replacement next month to stop the pain in my left knee -I can’t walk very far now and had to give up my over 50’s exercise class, which I am anxious to get back to. Take care gran xo.
FY have you got scoliosis as well? I also got ruptured discs. Only operation for my scoliosis is a steel rod in my back. Is that the one your talking about? I really dont want that as I will be like robocop lol I think it will retrict me a lot. See what happens and how much worse it can get. Good luck on knee op take care
Hi gran I’ve got scoliosis, kyphosis, and spondylolithiasis, the latter the more painful.
Painfullness we couldn’t avoid when we aging, right? But I think if we can spend a little bit of time each day excercise, try to eat more vegs and fruits like blue berries it contains lots of antioxidants that could give us more energy and reduce inflammations. Like my mom, she has diabetes for years and her sugar up and down even she is taking antibiotic. She took a natural pure antioxidant juice blend and soceye salmom fish oil about one month. Her cholesterol, sugar, energy level back to normal.
Pierman, if everyday you try do a little bit to improve for your health, then in a long run, your pain will go away. Good luck Pierman friend.
Thank you for your suggestions tbkyani. I do eat healthy and I do exercise. Mine is just a little more than inflamations. No matter how heathy I eat it isnt going to straighten bones. But what you are saying is right. You are what you eat. What you put into your body is up to you. Thank you for your suggestion.
Pianerman, I know all about pain – I live with it daily. I was battered by my father when I was a child, and bones don’t forget old injuries, so now I have arthritis and for other reasons cannot take anti-inflammatories. I’ve learned to live with it. On any given day, it’s not a question of whether or not I’ll be in pain, but how much it’s going to be, which depends a lot on the weather.
What you describe in your article as being your problem, sounds to me exactly like sciatica, or maybe gout. One or the other. Sciatica is a shooting sharp pain which comes out of nowhere, across the buttocks and down into a leg – usually just one leg. You might try to google it and see if you can match symptoms with it.
In my lifetime, I have diagnosed just about everything I’ve had and simply tell the doctor what it is! No kidding – I diagnosed my amoebic hepatitis – they did tests and sure enough that’s what I had! I am what is called a “medical intuitive” and can often tell what ails people – especially myself! I think you have sciatica – for what it’s worth, which hurts like hell! 🙂
I hope this is helpful.
Thank you all for your comments, concerns, prayers, and good advice. You are so right tbkyani, natural health suplements help a lot. I am also a diabetic like you grams and me does loves the foods! What used to be in my youth, the abdominal “six pak” is now the “whole darn KEG!”
I am trying that new exercise my Dr advised the forearm elbow method of dieting! You take your forearm, and flex it at the elbow and push the food away! That is mind over matter! If you had my mind, it would’t matter! I did find however, that when I stay away from the high Carb menu, then of course, my levels improve, and less insulin shots I have to endure! I am also taking a natural muscle relaxer that helps and doesnt have the side effects of drowsiness and fatigue that the prescribed ones do, and it is effective. This, too, shall pass. And grandmaj, you take care of that back too, and I admire you for taking a stand. Don’t worry what “they” say, you just do what is right for you hon. Can’t keep a good man or lady down, eh? :-
Aww so sorry but will leave a message in your PM
Me too, Paul . . .. Hugs.
Thanks Pianerman, I am actually going to go to the health food shop today to see if I can get a muscle relaxant. I told my hubby about the idea of the muscle relaxant and he laughed as he said make sure you get some cough medicine as well cause at your age you dont want to be too relaxed and end up having to buy depends lol Yeah he thinks he is a comedien lol Even though I thought those pink poodles were rather good dancers I dont want to see them all the time lol Thank you for the idea pianerman. I am not worried about what “they ” say at all Pianerman I know how I feel. Hope you are coping a lot better with you pain. Funny thing, I dont know if I should say this or not, as I might offend some(paranoid again) Here goes, I have never been to a church service in my life, but maybe if I had seena minister with your outlook on life and being straight forward I may of considered it……………