kicking a person when down

Why does it happen? Has it happened to you? What character flaw accounts for it?
I had an insight yesterday while talking to a friend of many years. One friend in their group is facing brain surgery and is a single woman and lives alone, but has the essential designated family member to do the legalities, but the woman is frightened and feeling nervous. Natural right? Not to two of her 'friends". They get together and one says, "she is tired of the crap". This woman has always been feeling alone. My friend admits this woman is a nice person and has been a good friend. Instead of offering what small acts of kindness they can muster, they kick the woman while she is in this awful situation. Run her down and fortify each other. Why can't they just say, I will do what I can, and offer her understanding instead? They feel guilty, and cover it by blaming the victim. They actually said. "I have my live to live". Geez, can't their life include what kindness they can muster and blaming themselves for being as sefish and flawed as they obviously are.
We may all be flawed, but if you can't help or won't help DO NOT kick the person while they are down. I posted this because I know that there are people in both situations.
I hope this informs you with more understanding.

Recommend0 recommendations

Published in Senior Chatters


  1. nmod

    It hasn’t happened to me , but I’ve seen it happen many times Rose … Good post , thought provoking , thank you for posting it .

  2. KayBee

    I am glad you shared this too. I think where each person is in their own life might make a difference in how empathetic they will be to someone else’s plight. How much they have to give to another. Some of it just has to do with personality, and , let’s face it, some people are just very self-consumed to the point of hurting others in the way you described!
    Your story causes me to stop and think about myself too. I’d like to think I am very empathetic and caring overall. But I’ll admit that sometimes I need an attitude check.

  3. maggiess123

    It’s hard to accept but the world is full of a lot of heartless people! I think people need to work more on inner beauty then outer beauty. I hope things get better for your friend

  4. maggiess123

    It’s hard to accept but the world is full of a lot of heartless people! I think people need to work more on inner beauty then outer beauty. I hope things get better for your friend.

  5. myhurtingback

    good post. Often we forget and forget to see us as others may see us and how we act. When my hubby died my memories are of those who offered kindness and help when needed whilst I nursed him before he died. Those who pretended to offer sympathy but then showed another side elsewhere I remember also and the way i remember is how i now treat them – one set wiht kindness and the others with indiference as i no longer see them as true friends. time is a gift that costs nothing but means a lot.

    1. roseinbloom Post author

      Myhurtingback, I agree with you and your way of handling it. I wrote this because people should not have to be jolted by a reality that they never expected at he worst times in their life.

  6. roseinbloom Post author

    I am happy that so many have understood my post and found it valid and useful.Thank you all for sharing all your very honest thoughts.

  7. skippy

    Thank you rose for the post, such a shame some are so insensitive, hopefully many more are empathetic and are there to do what they can xxx

  8. Lina

    Thanks for the post Rose, as you say – we should be helping each other, not making life more difficult… I sincerely hope the lady in need finds those who do care for her wellbeing… xxxx

  9. leafofgold

    With deep empathy for your friend. I’ve been thrown under the bus so many times my middle name is GREYHOUND..Every aspect of my life I faced alone. Best of luck to her.She’s in my thoughts.

  10. tessa

    This is slightly off the main idea but it relates somewhat: Some folks seem to think everything is all about them. They want to get sympathy but if anybody else needs any they start bitching about that and accusing the person of whining or carrying it on too long, insisting that the subject be changed..pathetic frame of mind in my opinion. Not letting that happen again when I’m in the room. If anybody needs cheering and/or moral support the one(s) who don’t like it can LEAVE!! The rest, who care about other people, will lend what they can in sympathy and small advices I’m sure.