Internet relationships
Internet relationships, are they for real ? Can one truly find a close friend or even a mate via this media??? Their are many arguments supporting both sides of this issue.
Honesty is the key to this equation, but is it not the key to all relationships? Through the net(taken that both are sincere) people must learn of each more on a personal level,likes/dislikes,thus learning what they perceive to be compatibility and sincerity before even meeting in person. True one may argue how one knows the honesty/sincerity of the other without having met in person? Then again how do you know the person you met in real life is honest /sincere? The truth to the matter is anyone you meet is potentially good/bad and only taking the time to “get to know” each other is really going to lead to a good/strong/sincere relationship(any type). The internet(with it’s good/bad points)allows us to meet a wider variety of people thus increasing the probability of meeting those whom we are most compatible. As in most things in life, “The better part of Valour,is Descretion” from Shakespeare’s
Henry IV.
Tis but one’s humble opinion
peace
I think you can find a true friend via the web, as penpals have done over the years, but as to a partner/soul mate, I would be very careful because I would have to meet that person face to face to know whether or not we clicked.
I agree with both Senile and Judee. the internet is no different than any other meeting place.
A few rules should apply though. Don’t send them money. Don’t give bank details. Don’t tell them your address. Don’t give out any passwords.
Very much the same as real life. Bottom line is trust must be earned.
Well I have met up in real life with three people who I first became acquainted with on Senior Chatters, all women I hasten to add, not one of them was anything like I had imagined them to be, not people I wished to remain friends with, also had a “close ” friend on here, so I thought till one day apparently I said something that upset her, she blocked me for months then requested me as a friend again, I accepted, but as for meeting up which is what she would like to do, not a prayer, a long memory I have…..also another I met on here who has now left the site but is on another one, she professes to be a Christian, yes right, wish I could show you the positively vile and evil text she sent me……..so in my experience never again, but I dare say many have met and become firm friends….and good luck to them……..but for me……nooooo never again……
Oh dear Star you’re hurting me with that, xxxxM
Awwwww sorry Michael, I don’t think for one minute you profess to be what your not, sure you are as open and honest as its wise to be on a social networking site…..xxxx
Oha Star your words do me good my friend, xxxM
Star I think your complete openess and friendlyness has left you open to those supposed friendships you encountered..,…they abused that situation. When making friends I find it has to be done slowly, revealing only little bits of yourself at a time. Friendship, as with relationships, take a long time to build up into a loving trusting relationship. I have/ have had relationships over the internet with both males and females. Those that have had the patience to put up with me are still there as friends some very close,others maybe not too close but know Im there for them as they are for me. We dont have to have daily contact to know who our friends are.
So Senile, I say yes we can have internet friendships and relationships providing we are aware of the dangers of going in “boots and all” and being prepared for it not to work if a chance to meet in person comes along. Yes, you might get hurt if it doesnt work but were all of an age where we have to take chances from time to time.
Faye. I agree totally. The key is being wary and careful. I have found that I want to put more effort into meeting people near me or at least on my continent, if I want to make more than an internet friend. I will say that I am amazed at how duplicitous some people are and what their reasons are is beyond my understanding. I know one person who has one religion on this website and another on another website, just an example. I think I appear open, but I have not been scammed.
You could be right Faye, but I am now more cynical and wary….I suppose mistakenly we think everyone is as open and honest as ourselves…….
Star. You seem open and nice and honest. You are out numbered by the ones who are not like you.
Interesting thoughts on this thread. From my own experience I have made several on-line friends (not through SC I must add) and those relationships have developed over a period of years rather than weeks or months. I think its very easy to be somebody you are not online as so many visual clues are missing – body language and intonation as two examples. Of course, with the advent of video and Skype some of that is more obvious but I have always been cautious. For what its worth I eventually met one of these friends in the flesh – my friend Tony has visited from Chicago a few times and we got on like the great friends we always knew we would be.
I think online friendships can be very rewarding – they just need to develop at the right speed. Like minded people will find each other – and it often starts with a shared sense of humour, so that at least is true of both the real and the virtual world.
Great blog. Thank you senile and I enjoyed all the comments.
My pleasure.
For me ,the internet has provided myself with the means of meeting people from all walks of life and from around the world allowing us to be exposed to differing cultures and ideologies. I have enjoyed meeting folks from Europe(online and in person)and the Caribbean and consider myself my richer for the experience/
Up to my person, I can’t stand selfish people at all. But I like sophisticated, intelligent people who know what they want, what is when to do and with all they have a lot of humor.
Via the internet it seems to be very difficult to meet people who have all the attributes I prefer myself.
Should I dare buy into this , well here goes!!! Ifeel that all friendships have to start somewhere , wether its via the web or in real life, it takes a fair while to develop trust becasue that is the basis for true friendship…. once my trust is broken and i can only speak for myself,i tread very warily with that person again….. it doesn’t mean I don’t like them anymore because in my belief system if one does not like another it’s usually something inside oneself that reminds you of that person in some way,perhaps without even realising it ,I am guiless, I like everyone , now that leaves one open to hurt as we probably all know ,some mistake this open nature as being flirtatious it is not ..it is an upbringing that has been taught from childhood , to love one another and bring the best out in people, sometimes that does not happen and we pay the consequences as we have all had to do in our lives one way or the other…
there is no difference which way one meets another , i firmly believe that if two people click ,,it , s good and well if there are dissapointments along the way , thats life , it’s meant to be .. if it turns into a beautiful friendship wherever they meet then thats ok as well .How can we learn about friendship and love if we don’t take chances ?
I am a taoist as many of you may know , this is not , i repeat not a religeon ,taoism is based on making ONESELF a better person by loving all and nature , you can be a Christian and still be a Taoist , you can be an Athiest and still love one another and nature .. so everything counts in our world in my belief system ,…. hope this is not taken as preaching or being too soft as sometimes im told I am or sometimes gullible, no it’s not that at all , it’s leaving one open to the posiblilities that life has to offer each and every one of us …
enough said . as the Great John Lennon said (life is what happens whe we are busy making other plans). he knew what it was all about , in his song” Imagine ” he says it all.
I concur with you completely with you. I would venture forth and say that in no sense of the word, do you appear gullible, but would say in the stead, your feet are planted firmly upon the ground.
tis but one’s opinion
peace
Lani, I can sense your gentle nature thru your writing. I have always felt very
comfortable talking with you.
Many people meet and eventually fall in love with each other on line..Just ask my ex-husband and his new wife…..lol
I’m like you lani in the sense that I always see the good in people and I have been hurt, betrayed, taken for granted, etc. most of my life, but with age comes wisdom and I am more wary now and trust is a big issue for me. Having said that, I have made some wonderful friends (all female) on SC and I care for them dearly and believe they do so for me. I also have wonderful off-line friends, so my instincts haven’t been too bad. As for romance on the Internet – NEVER – too many out there taking advantage of the most vulnerable and so many have been hurt and devastated by them. This is a cruel world in many ways and one has to protect oneself. So many of us are now on our own and scammers hone in on those who feel lonely and crave for affection. One must learn not to be so gullible and NEVER to send money anywhere. The first indication in my opinion is someone asking you to send money – that should send up a red flag straight away. So Chatters be aware and don’t rush in to thinking you are going to meet up with your soul mate.